When the Lord Jesus was walking through this world with His disciples, there was more than one occasion when some of them wanted to be the greatest. This has been the tendency of man’s natural heart ever since the fall of man. The Lord’s response to them gives the secret of true Christian greatness:
The Lord described human greatness very well when He said, “The kings of the Gentiles exercise lordship over them; and they that exercise authority upon them are called benefactors” (Luke 22:2525And he said unto them, The kings of the Gentiles exercise lordship over them; and they that exercise authority upon them are called benefactors. (Luke 22:25)). As is always the case, God’s wisdom is the exact opposite of man’s wisdom, and our Lord was the supreme example of God’s wisdom when it came to authority. He had unquestioned power; as God He could still the wind and waves, heal the sick, raise the dead, and feed the hungry. Yet His entire life down here was one of submission to His Father’s will — a life of sacrifice and service. He never did anything to please Himself, for He could say, “I do always those things that please Him [the Father]” (John 8:2929And he that sent me is with me: the Father hath not left me alone; for I do always those things that please him. (John 8:29)). More than this, He will remain a servant forever, as we see in type in Exodus 21:1-61Now these are the judgments which thou shalt set before them. 2If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. 3If he came in by himself, he shall go out by himself: if he were married, then his wife shall go out with him. 4If his master have given him a wife, and she have born him sons or daughters; the wife and her children shall be her master's, and he shall go out by himself. 5And if the servant shall plainly say, I love my master, my wife, and my children; I will not go out free: 6Then his master shall bring him unto the judges; he shall also bring him to the door, or unto the door post; and his master shall bore his ear through with an aul; and he shall serve him for ever. (Exodus 21:1‑6). Because of His love for His master, His wife, and His children, the Lord Jesus (as typified by the Hebrew servant) had His ear bored through with an awl (which brings before us His death on the cross). As a result, He will remain a man for all eternity and will be a servant forever. When we are taken home to be with Him, we read in Luke 12:3737Blessed are those servants, whom the lord when he cometh shall find watching: verily I say unto you, that he shall gird himself, and make them to sit down to meat, and will come forth and serve them. (Luke 12:37) that “He shall gird Himself, and make them [us] to sit down to meat, and will come forth and serve them.”
All this surely has a voice for men today, in their relationships with their wives and with women in general. God has placed the man in a position of responsibility and authority, but it is through sacrifice that such a position is effectual. The fact that the woman was made from a rib, taken from man’s side, shows in itself that his attitude toward her is to be one of love and protection.
Reasons for Questioning
Authority
We are living in a day when all authority is being questioned, and very often this attitude translates into resentment by women against men, who have all too frequently used their position of headship as an excuse for exercising an aggressive and self-serving version of authority. Instead of the sacrificial and protective attitude that should characterize their relationship with women, there has often been an arrogant and domineering tyranny. At other times men have been just plain thoughtless and self-centered. These things in turn have helped spawn the feminist movement of recent years, in which women have not merely rebelled against men, but also against their God-given nature which is nurturing, adaptive and kind. The assertiveness that is all too often seen among women today has its roots in a rebellion against the suffering that results when men abuse their mandate from God. Did not most of us, in our marriage vows, promise to “cherish”? Are we keeping our vows?
The Care and Protection
of Women
The responsibility of men to care for and protect women is an ancient and deep-seated concept that goes to the heart of what being a man is all about. This was illustrated just over one hundred years ago when the Titanic sank with the loss of more than 1,500 lives. Charles Lightoller was the second officer of the ship, and he was in charge of loading the lifeboats. The story of his experience is very moving:
“Though he initially didn’t think the Titanic would sink, Lightoller was quick to his duties, helping women and children into the ship’s portside lifeboats. He was rigid in policing who got on the boats, enforcing a women-and-children-only standard that later brought him criticism. When a group of men had taken over one of the boats, Lightoller jumped in and chased them out with an unloaded revolver. But his actions aboard the Titanic were focused on saving lives, and not his own skin. Later, the ship’s fate obvious, Lightoller was ordered by a superior to climb into one of the emergency boats, but he refused with a spirited, ‘Not likely.’ ”
(Lightoller did survive, as a series of events caused him to be blasted out of the water and placed near an upturned canvas raft, which he was able to climb upon. His care of the men on it resulted in nearly all of them being rescued the next morning.)
The assertion of this sacrificial male authority, not in serving one’s own ends, but rather in protecting and, if necessary, dying for those under his care, is an example of what Christ-likeness really is. To Charles Lightoller and those like him, the priority of women and children over men in such a situation seemed simply the proper and noble thing to do.
Sacrificial Love
While most of us will not be called upon to give up our lives in this way, yet there is, for every man, the day-to-day sacrifice for his wife and children that is necessary for one who is in a position of leadership. It may mean simply making a cup of coffee and bringing it to your wife, or offering to scrub the pots and pans so that she can relax after dinner. It may mean fixing something around the house, instead of giving in to the temptation to sit and relax. It may mean reading to the children or spending time with them in some other way. It may also mean budgeting the time spent “on the job,” so that those at home feel loved by the presence of the husband and father and his interest in the home life. The constant care for others, in a world that increasingly emphasizes self, is sometimes a burden, but a happy one. When love is the motive, then all sacrifice becomes easier.
We are enjoined, “Be ye therefore imitators of God, as beloved children, and walk in love, even as the Christ loved us, and delivered Himself up for us, an offering and sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling savor” (Eph. 5:11Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; (Ephesians 5:1) JND). Here we find an even higher motive than that of the good of others — a motive that takes us up to God Himself. When the Lord Jesus offered Himself up as a sweet-smelling savor, He was the true burnt offering — that offering that was for God alone. First and foremost, His obedience was for His Father, and the sweet-smelling savor was, in one sense, independent of His suffering for sin, although the two cannot be really separated. But His willing obedience, even unto death, resulted in that which the heart of God alone could fully appreciate. When Christian men are willing to sacrifice themselves, their motive should not only be for the good of those whom they are given to protect; rather, the example of Christ Himself must be before us, so that we seek to become imitators of Him.
None of us has the strength in himself to do this; it must come from constant dependence on and constant prayer to God Himself. All likeness to Christ must come from Him, but the more we are occupied with Him, the greater will be our likeness to Him. God will give us the grace for it, if we ask Him.
W. J. Prost