Some time ago I was in a home when a father asked his little child to shut the door. The response was, “I don’t want to.” “Then poor Dad will have to shut the door himself.” “I don’t care; I just don’t feel like it.” And I saw “poor Dad” get up and shut the door. Uncontrolled at six; a delinquent at sixteen?
I must confess to an immediate urge to have that child for about fifteen minutes, but a more sober reflection brought the realization that it was really the father who needed the discipline.
One of the most dangerous signs of the times is the deterioration of home life, causing a growing disrespect of children for parents and others in authority. In 2 Timothy 3, the Apostle Paul, in describing the last days, accurately tells us where we are now.
The Home Problem
The longer I live and the more I see of the joys and sorrows, the success and failure of this life, the more I am convinced that the home problem is the greatest one which exists today. The home is the center of everything. Whether humble or pretentious, the home provides greater possibilities for joy or sorrow than all the rest of the world. The downfall of many characters can be traced to some defect in the home life, while the loveliest picture earth furnishes is a family going on together, on their way to heaven. We step from the portals of our home into the social, moral and civil world. What we are in the home will be what we are in the assembly and in all fields of life.
When God Himself would found a nation, He made the home life the deciding factor. In choosing Abraham, God said of him, “He will command his children and his household after him” (Gen. 18:1919For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him. (Genesis 18:19)). Here we have two fundamental principles for a successful home — authority and example. Without these you cannot have a happy home, assembly or nation. God’s ideal nation starts with the home, with the father of the home walking in the way of the Lord to do justice and judgment, his children and household following after him.
Anarchy is not born in the streets of New York, Chicago or London; the question of obedience to law is settled in childhood. The child who does not obey his father and mother is not likely to obey social, civil or divine laws. When God said, “Children obey your parents,” He revealed where obedience originates.
Authority
Regarding the matter of authority, we as parents must exercise it in a Christ-like attitude of love. We have seen children driven from home by the stern and harsh application of a father’s authority. Our acts of discipline must be tempered with large doses of love and understanding, just as our Father above has dealt with us. “Whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth” (Heb. 12:6-116For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. 7If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? 8But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. 9Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? 10For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. 11Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby. (Hebrews 12:6‑11)).
Authority alone is not sufficient, however. As noted above, a godly example is also required. Are we, as fathers, exhibiting our obedience to the authorities to whom we should be subject — not only the Word of God, but also the civil authorities that He has placed over us? Are we expecting our children to overcome sinful tendencies (such as lying and laziness) that we ourselves have not judged in our own lives?
A Legacy
What kind of legacy are we leaving our children? Our day requires more prayer for grace and wisdom than ever before, for the needed help to bring up our children as trophies of His love. One day soon we shall give God an account as to our stewardship of the children He has entrusted to our care.
We have a beautiful example of a father with his children in looking at the way we, as children of God, are trained and schooled by our all-wise Father. He knew how we would turn out when He chose us before the foundation of the world. There is government in His family, but there is also grace and forgiveness. While the prodigal son was away from home, the father was not sleeping or indifferent to his son’s waywardness. He saw him returning when he was “a great way off” (Luke 15:2020And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him. (Luke 15:20)). Blessing and joy resulted.
Adapted from Christian Truth