You say, “It never came with power and life to my soul, that He died for me." H you mean, you never had any extraordinary sudden manifestation, something like a vision or a voice from heaven, confirming it to you, I can say the same. But I know Her died for sinners; I know I am a sinner; I know He invites them that are ready to perish; I am such an one; I know, upon His own invitation, I have committed myself to Him; and I know by the effects, that He has been with me hitherto, otherwise, I should have been an apostate long ago; and, therefore, I know that He died for me; for had He been pleased to kill me (as He justly might have done) He would not have shown me such things as these.
I know that I am a child, because He teaches me to say, Abba, Father.
If I must perish, would the Lord
Have taught my heart to love His word?
Would He have given me eyes to see
My danger and my remedy?
Reveal'd His name, and bid me pray,
Had He resolv'd to say me nay?
I know that I am His, because He has enabled me to choose Him for mine. For such a choice and desire could never have taken place in my heart, if He had not placed it there Himself. By nature I was too blind to know Him, too proud to trust Him, too obstinate to serve Him, too base-minded to love Him. The enmity I was filled with, against His government, righteousness, and grace, was too strong to be subdued by any power but His own. The love I bear Him is but a faint and feeble spark, but it is an emanation from Himself; He kindled it, and He keeps it alive; and, because it is His work, I trust many waters shall not quench it.
Far be it from me to arrogate infallibility to, myself, or to any writer or preacher; yet, blessed be God, I am not left to float up and down the uncertain tide of opinion, in those points wherein the peace of my soul is nearly concerned. I know, yea, I infallibly know, whom I have believed. I am under no more doubt about the way of salvation, than of the way to London. I cannot be deceived, because the word of God cannot deceive me. It is impossible, however, for me to give you or any person full satisfaction concerning my evidence, because it is of an experimental nature. Rev. 2:1717He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the hidden manna, and will give him a white stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knoweth saving he that receiveth it. (Revelation 2:17).
In general, it arises from the views I have received of the power, compassion, and grace of Jesus, and a consciousness that I, from a conviction of my sin and misery, have fled to Him for refuge, entrusted and devoted myself and my all to Him. Since my mind has been enlightened, everything within me and everything around me, confirm and explain to me what I read in Scripture; and though I have reason enough to distrust my own judgment every hour, yet I have no reason to question the great essentials which the Lord Himself hath taught me.
The gospel is a salvation appointed for those who are ready to perish, and is not designed to put them in a way to save themselves by their own works. It speaks to us as condemned already, and calls upon us to believe in a crucified Savior, that we may receive redemption through His blood, even the forgiveness of our sins. And the Spirit of God, by the gospel, first convinces us of unbelief, sin, and misery; and then, by revealing the things of Jesus to our minds, enables us, as helpless sinners, to come to Christ, to receive Him, and to behold Him, or, in other words, to believe in Him, and expect pardon, life, and grace from Him; renouncing every hope and aim in which we once rested, " and accounting all things loss and dung for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ " (John 6:33And Jesus went up into a mountain, and there he sat with his disciples. (John 6:3); Isa. 45:2222Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth: for I am God, and there is none else. (Isaiah 45:22), with John 6:4040And this is the will of him that sent me, that every one which seeth the Son, and believeth on him, may have everlasting life: and I will raise him up at the last day. (John 6:40); Col. 2:66As ye have therefore received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk ye in him: (Colossians 2:6)).
I think you want one thing, which it is not in my power to impart. I mean, such a sense of the depravity of human nature, and the state of all mankind considered as sinners, as may make you feel the utter impossibility of attaining to the peace and hope of the gospel in any other way, than by renouncing all hope of succeeding by any endeavors of your own, farther than by humbly waiting at the throne of grace for power to cast yourself, without terms and conditions, upon Him who is able to save to the uttermost. We must feel ourselves sick before we can duly prize the great Physician, and feel a sentence of death in ourselves before we can effectually trust in God, who raiseth the dead.
One thing is needful: to have our hearts united to the Lord in humble faith; to set Him always before us; to rejoice in Him as our Shepherd and our portion; to submit to all His appointments, not of necessity, because He is stronger than we, but with a cheerful acquiescence, because He is wise and good, and loves us better than we do ourselves; to feed upon His truth; to have our understandings, wills, affections, imaginations, memory, all filled and impressed with the great mysteries of redeeming love; to do all for Him, to receive all from Him, to find all in Him. I have mentioned many things, but they are all comprised in one, a life of faith in the Son of God. We are empty vessels in ourselves, but we cannot remain empty. Except Jesus dwells in our hearts, and fills them with His power and presence, they will be filled with folly, vanity, and vexation.
JOHN NEWTON.