We spoke to the young men yesterday, and today’s meeting will be for the young ladies. I want you to know that this is about the hardest meeting to take. It is relatively easy, in one sense, to speak to young fellows, because I am one of them. To speak to the young ladies is another matter. We have to rely only on the Word of God and what we find there.
I would like to speak this morning on three things. To repeat what we said at the beginning, we will try and cover a few things well, rather than try to run the whole gamut of everything. The three things are position, submission and purity.
First, let us turn to the book of Genesis. It is well in these things when we turn to the Word of God, and go back to the beginning, as we did yesterday. Turn to Genesis 2. We read some verses yesterday from this chapter, but we read only that which applied to the men. But here we find in Verse 20: “And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.”
Now go back to the 18th verse: “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” Perhaps it should be translated, “one that is his equal.”
That is the only verse we are going to read on the matter of “position.” There will be others that we can refer to as we go on, but we find right here at the beginning that God created the man, put him in the Garden of Eden, and gave him the position of headship. That was exemplified by the way in which God gave him the privilege and right to name all of the created animals there. But here was Adam looking out on that creation; he sees every other animal with a mate, and he is left without one. True joy can only be experienced in sharing. Those of you who are married (or who are drifting in that direction!) have found that out. Joy can only be full when it is shared, and we find that exemplified in its greatest extent with Christ and the Church.
You will pardon me if I quote some old brothers, but sometimes what they said stuck with me. Again quoting brother Harry Hayhoe, “God was sufficient unto Himself in all things except in His love. He must have objects to love.” Here we find a beautiful picture of Christ and the Church. God looks down and He sees Adam there, alone. He said, “I am going to make him a helpmeet for him.”
You know, young sisters, this is where you come in. We will get to some verses in the New Testament in a little while, but we are talking for the moment about position. If you look at the world around you today, you will see, as we remarked already, that everything is upside down. The world would say, “There is no difference between men and women today, except physical. The woman should do everything the man does, and the man should do everything the woman does.” This is not according to the Word of God.
The Word of God says, “I will make him an helpmeet for him.” I don’t need to belabor the point. The man has certain characteristics which give him that which is needed to occupy the position of leadership and headship. The woman has been given characteristics equally precious which enable her to be the complement of the man. Don’t try to follow the wisdom of this world and level everything out. It pains me every day to see the sorrow and the sadness (we all see it as we have to go out in the world to earn a living, or go to school or whatever we may do) which has been brought into this world because men have thrown aside the truth of God’s precious Word. I speak not now particularly of Christianity, but in a general way. Where man has departed even in natural things from the truth of God’s precious Word, he has brought in nothing but difficulties and ruin. “I will make him an helpmeet for him.” Nothing is more beautiful. (Some of this is going to dovetail with the New Testament, so you will pardon me if some things overlap a little bit.) God has given you that most wondrous position of being a helpmeet to the man. Oh, you say, that is not what I want to do. Young sisters, that is what you are fitted for. That is the position in which God has placed you. You complement the man. You are not the same as he is.
Sometimes I get to travel around with people; and occasionally I get to travel with someone that I feel gets along well with me, because perhaps he has certain strengths where I have weaknesses and vice versa. We complement each other well. I’ll mention one example. (I’ll probably get in trouble for this if it gets back home, but I thought I would say it anyway!) I opened my suitcase this morning to get dressed, and I guess I’m the kind of a guy that just doesn’t have much color sense. I don’t know what goes with what, so I got very strict instruction before I left home—”now this goes with this and this goes with that.” Sometimes I leave home in the morning and when I come home at night my wife will look at me and say “Did you really wear that tie with that jacket? Well, it’s a warm day. I hope you took your jacket off when you got to the office.” Anyway, I opened my suitcase this morning and went to put on this shirt that I am wearing and there was a little note pinned to the front of it. At first I thought it was to tell me, “Don’t wear this with that pair of pants.” But you know, there it is, a little piece that said, “I’ll be praying for you today. I love you.” Then my wife signed her name. I thought of that a lot. There were two things that were brought in to that note. First of all, the Lord was brought in to it. There was the encouragement that someone who was not able to come with me this year, was at home praying for me. And young sisters, you can be an encouragement to the boys. Perhaps you don’t realize that what you say and do can be an encouragement. You may not be able to stand up in your local assembly and preach the gospel, but I’m telling you from personal experience how much it means to a young fellow, when perhaps he with trembling heart has stood up and opened his mouth for the first time, to have a sister come up and say, “I enjoyed the word the Lord gave you.” So you can be an encouragement in the Lord, and that is what the Lord wants you to be. It doesn’t have to be within the marriage relationship only. There are some girls here, perhaps the larger number, who are single. I don’t know how long that will last. Some of you may not get married; I don’t know what the Lord has for you.
I will tell you a little story just to show that “I will make an helpmeet for him” is not limited to those who are married. It happened, I would judge, 50 to 60 years ago in my home assembly, and it was told to me by the brother involved. He is still with us, in his 80’s now. He told me of how, many years ago, when he was a young man sitting up on the front row on Lord’s Day morning (in what they used to call “bachelors row” where all the young fellows sat); he had a hymn laid on his heart to give out. The Spirit of God brought it before him very strongly, but he hadn’t the courage to give it out, and so he didn’t. After the breaking of bread, another brother gave that hymn out. Well, he felt somewhat rebuked, because the Lord laid that on his heart. He went outside after the meeting, and there was the usual socializing and talking. He fell into conversation with an older sister. (She was single all her life and went to be with the Lord at the age of 95. She was a very much beloved sister. Her memories went back a long way; she remembered sitting on J. N. Darby’s knee.) While talking to this young brother, she said to him in her own quiet way, “Brother, I enjoyed the meeting this morning, but I fear someone quenched the Spirit.” He began to shake a little bit. Then she said, “That hymn (and she named the hymn) that we sang after the breaking of bread should have been given out before the breaking of bread. I had hoped that some brother would give it out.” Poor brother, he had to look up at her and say, “Sister, I’m the one”.
“I will make him an helpmeet for him.” We read in the Book of Judges about a prophetess by the name of Deborah. We find that things were in a low state in Israel and it didn’t seem that the men had taken the position of leadership that they should have, and God had to use her to reveal His mind to a man named Barak. He didn’t have the courage to go out and go into battle himself. He said, “I want you to go with me.” She said, “All right, I will go with you,” but she didn’t step out of her place, and the Lord used her remarkably. So I say to you (I don’t want to belabor the point), “I will make him an helpmeet for him.” May the Lord give you grace to take that position from Himself. Don’t try and assume the position that the man has. It won’t work. The disorder and the sadness in this world, and, I might add, the disorder in the Church of God when these truths are laid aside, is something which we see around us all the time. “I will make him an help meet for him,” and it will be a real joy to your own soul to fill that role. You say, “How do you know”? I have talked to sisters who have experienced it. I have talked to some who have found their joy and fulfillment in being the one who sought to be a help meet to a brother—who sought to be the one who encouraged him in the Lord, and you, too, can encourage young brothers in the Lord.
I will tell you another story before we go on. A few years ago I went to college in the city of Toronto. It was traditional there among the young people that when you got to be 21 they threw a birthday party for you. Usually it was a surprise, and perhaps being a bit gullible, I fell head over heels for it and on my twenty-first birthday I was completely surprised. The young people there gave me Morrish’s Bible Dictionary as a gift; I still have it and use it. (And I still have the card in front of it with the signatures of all the young people who signed it and gave it to me.) That was on Friday or Saturday; and when I went to meeting on Lord’s Day, an older sister in the assembly (who is now with the Lord) quietly came up to me and said, “Bill, I heard they gave you Morrish’s Bible Dictionary for a gift.” I said, “Yes they did and I am very thankful for it.” “Well,” she said, “Here is something to tuck in the front of it,” and she gave me a little card. She said, “It’s a very very good dictionary, but there are four little mistakes in it, differences which some of our older brethren, like J. N. Darby and Mr. Wigram have noted and I thought you would like to have them. I just wrote them out here for you, you can tuck them in the front.” There they were, with a little bit of Greek thrown in. I thought, “My, isn’t that something.” She knew her Bible well—very well—and she was a help to me. Young sister, you don’t have to sit in the background as far as your own spiritual knowledge is concerned. You never read in the Word of God of a gift in taking in the truth. Have you ever thought about that? Maybe there is a gift in giving it out, but no such thing as a gift in taking it in. There is no reason why you can’t enjoy the truth of God and our good written ministry and everything that God has given us, just as much as a brother. Never forget that, even if God hasn’t given you the place of public responsibility.
I can remember another occasion when an assembly was going to send out a letter of invitation to a conference. As was usual, the letter was read to the assembly before they sent it out. After the meeting an older sister quietly came up to one of the brothers and in her quiet way pointed out something in that letter which was unscriptural.
Was it in order? Very much so. None of the brothers had noticed it. There is no reason why you can’t enjoy the Lord just as much. The truth that God has given us is for each one of us. “I will make him an helpmeet for him.” May God give you grace to fill that role. God puts you in the position of being a help meet. He equipped you for it, and (again we don’t have the time to go into details) you can happily fill that position. Whether the Lord gives you a partner in life, or whether He doesn’t, you can fill that role just as well.
Now let’s talk about “submission.” This is perhaps the most difficult thing to discuss in this day and age; once again we must go to the Word of God. Let us turn over to those familiar verses we referred to yesterday in Ephesians 5. To me this is beautiful.
Ephesians 5:2222Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. (Ephesians 5:22): “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.”
Now we will read a verse in 1Timothy, but I read those verses first. Just notice that. “Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.” (1 Tim. 2:1111Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. (1 Timothy 2:11)).
Notice the two reasons: 1) “For Adam was first formed, then Eve” (vs. 12), and 2) “Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety” (vss. 13-14). I read Ephesians first because I believe there are three reasons in the Word of God why it is proper and fitting for a sister to be in submission. This is the hardest thing to talk about because of the sad warping of the truth of God that has come into the world today. But just as the husband needs to be exhorted to love his wife, because that is the place where he is most likely to fail, so the woman is exhorted to submit to her husband. God gives three reasons for submission-whether it is to her husband or whether it is a place of silence in the assembly. The first two we find in 1Timothy as we read here. The fact that Adam was first formed, then Eve, shows that God gave man the place of headship. God has committed public responsibility and public ministry to men (and rightfully so), and a sister is never right to try and take that position. But also, the Word of God points out that the woman was deceived; and as part of the curse that God has pronounced on her, Scripture says, “thy desire shall be to thy husband” (or subject to thy husband). So those were the two reasons, you might say, in natural things, that preceded Christianity, why submission was proper. This is the hardest thing in coming to terms with perhaps that you will have in the world today. And the woman of today will say, “Nonsense, we are past all that.” But the wisdom of God never changes, and that necessity for submission hasn’t been lifted. So, just as man has to bear the effects of the curse, and just as I have to go out and work hard for a living, just as man has to till the ground in order to make a living, so there was that which was pronounced on the woman. I don’t like to dwell on that, but I mention it and think we need to recognize it.
I might make another remark here. I believe that when it says in that scripture in 1Timothy, “I suffer a woman not to teach, nor to usurp authority over a man,” that remark is not confined to the assembly or to spiritual things. Now I know that all don’t see it that way, but I believe it is the truth of God and I believe it is exemplified by the fact that the reasons given for those remarks go right back to the beginning and in one sense have nothing to do with Christianity. So I believe it is out of place for a woman to usurp authority over a man (in any sphere), or to be involved in that which would teach grown men. I mention that for your exercise and for mine. It takes wisdom and grace in this mixed up world of today to apply these things. Some of us had some conversation about that yesterday and it becomes more difficult as time goes on. But I just say to you for your own exercise and meditation that I believe that remark goes across the board and is not merely confined to spiritual things.
Then here in Ephesians, we have the highest motive for submission. Why? “As unto the Lord.” Now I am referring back to Ephesians 5:2222Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. (Ephesians 5:22), “Submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” Can there be any question in my life as to whether I submit wholly unto the Lord? Oh, I hope not. If I am prepared to do that, then the Word of God says, “Do it as unto the Lord”.
Oh, you say, “But my husband isn’t like that. He is not the kind of a man that I want to submit to.” A few years ago here in the United States there was the Watergate scandal, and it involved some pretty high people in this country. It resulted in the ultimate resignation of former President Nixon. Henry Kissinger, at that time Secretary of State, was trying to be a diplomat in world affairs, with all this turmoil swirling around him involving the man to whom he had to report as his superior. Someone asked him, “How do you manage to carry out your responsibilities and to serve President Nixon when there is so much controversy?”
I thought Mr. Kissinger’s remark was excellent. He said, “Sir, I serve the position of the Presidency. The man who fills the position is in some ways immaterial.” What did he mean? He meant that Mr. Nixon, no matter what kind of a man he was in his character, filled the position of President of the United States. Mr. Kissinger served the United States and respected Mr. Nixon, not because of what he was in himself, but because of the position that he had been placed in. And dear sisters, sometimes you may be called upon to submit in a situation where it may be difficult.
I think of a story that happened many years ago where a woman got saved but her husband wasn’t. (Perhaps there are some of you who come from homes like that. Maybe you are saved and your parents aren’t—and we are perhaps going to go into that a bit tomorrow—or maybe you come from a home where one parent is the Lord’s and one parent is not. You may be able to relate to this.) This woman was a dear Christian, but her husband had no use for Christianity and he took it out on her. I don’t know whether he was physically rough with her, although he might have been, but he made her life miserable. He demanded everything of her. Meals had to be just so and on time, the house had to be spotless and he really made her his slave. She patiently went about it all. Let’s turn to the Scripture that particularly energized her in 1 Peter 3:1-51Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. 3Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; 4But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 5For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: (1 Peter 3:1‑5).
“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives, while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.”
Finally one day, while he was sitting at the table eating his meal, he couldn’t stand it any longer and he said to her, ‘Why do you treat me so well—why do you do all these things? Why don’t you fight back once in a while? Why do you let me treat you so rotten all the time?” She looked up at him with tears in her eyes, and calling him by name she said, “I’ll tell you the reason I do it. I know that I’m going to spend an eternity in Heaven and you are my husband, and you are the dearest one to me on this earth, but if you keep on in your present pathway, you are going to spend eternity in Hell. And all the kindness that you are going to get is what you get in this life, because you are not going to get any in eternity, and I want to give you all I can before you go.” He couldn’t take that. He broke down and cried and the Lord used that to bring him to Christ. So I say that sometimes the role of submission isn’t easy. Sometimes you may find the role of submission in the assembly isn’t easy, but as our brother said the other day, we have to respect the call of the referee. Sometimes you as a sister may wish you could get in there and say something. I can remember a sister once saying something like that to me. This verse was referred to that we just read about the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit and she said, “I just could never have that. I’m not made that way. I don’t have that kind of a spirit and there is no way I could ever be like that.” That’s too bad because the grace of God can give that ornament of a meek and quiet spirit.
So it says in Ephesians 5:2424Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. (Ephesians 5:24): “Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.” Isn’t that wonderful? Submission.
Then turn back to 1 Peter again and there is another angle to this. Notice what it says in 1 Peter 3:5-65For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: 6Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. (1 Peter 3:5‑6): “For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.”
There is the other side of submission; and that is moral courage in the Lord’s things. Here it says, “Ye... are not afraid with any amazement.” It doesn’t mean that the woman cowers down beneath her husband like a slave. No, “not afraid with any amazement.” There is that quiet moral courage in the Lord’s things which submits, and submission is an attitude. Obedience is an act, but submission is an attitude. Submission is a position taken, obedience is acting out that submission in the position. Submission requires moral courage. If you read the last chapter of Proverbs, you will find there the characteristics of a virtuous woman and you will find there that she isn’t lacking in moral courage. In the things of the Lord, I believe that perhaps sisters will get the greatest rewards in Heaven for devotedness and courage.
I think of a story which happened years ago in the times when Christians were persecuted. Two young sisters (I don’t know if they were much older than some of you here), were brought out to be burned at the stake. In order to make the ordeal even more difficult for them, the authorities had ordered that one was to be burned at the stake alive while the other one had to watch until it was her turn.
You say, I don’t know how I would react in that situation. (I don’t know how I would either.) But they went out, and you can imagine the difficulty and fear they had. They counted on the Lord, but there was moral courage as the first one went to that stake. They made an agreement between themselves— you can hardly blame them for it—that the one who went first, if it were possible, would give some sign to the other one as to whether it was worth it or not.
Well, the first one was led out and tied to the stake, and all the wood was piled around her and lit on fire. Up went the flames and the smoke. The sister stood there watching, waiting and listening, and as time went on she thought perhaps she wasn’t going to hear anything. Suddenly out of the midst of those flames came the shout, “Come on, it’s worth it!” and then it was over. Moral courage. “Not afraid with any amazement.” Stories could be multiplied. We don’t have time today to show the moral courage of sisters before the Lord and in the things of the Lord.
I say again, I often feel that in the coming day, the greatest rewards will go to sisters. You remember Mary Magdalene and Mary of Bethany, who I believe had perhaps more intelligence in the things of the Lord than the disciples.
Our time is almost gone; we will leave that subject. But I commend these verses to you. Submission, but not being afraid with any amazement. No, moral courage.
We will talk for just a few minutes about “purity.” I want to read a verse in 2 Corinthians 11:22For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ. (2 Corinthians 11:2). The apostle Paul is speaking and talking about the assembly there: “For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.”
Now turn back to Psalm 144. We referred to this yesterday. There was a word here to the young men, but there is a word here to the sisters too. Psalm 144:1212That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace: (Psalm 144:12), the last half of the verse: “That our daughters may be as corner stones, polished” (or perhaps more accurately, sculptured) “after the similitude of a palace.”
Now one last verse in I Timothy 5; the last three words of verse 22: “Keep thyself pure.”
Again we have the relationship of Christ and the Church brought before us as the type. Paul could speak of “espousing the Church to Christ,” engaging the Church to Christ as a chaste virgin. That word chaste is a remarkable word. I looked it up in the Greek, and it has the thought of an object of veneration, or an object of worship. If I can speak very practically to the sisters here, the way you act in your interpersonal relationships can determine whether you fill the role of a chaste virgin or not.
I have heard fellows talk about a girl and they would even use the words that they worshipped the ground she walked on, and I have seen fellows treat girls as if they were the ground they walked on. All the way from one to the other. Does that excuse them from that attitude? No. But I have felt very often, that if a sister had been behaving in the way that she should have, there would have been a different attitude on the part of the fellows. “That our daughters may be as cornerstones sculptured or polished after the similitude of a palace.” I have seen a few palaces when I have traveled around and usually when you look up at a palace it is something that awes you a little bit. It is something that you look at and admire from all angles, but you walk toward and, if privileged to do so, walk into it with a certain amount of trepidation. You know, the Word of God has given the sister a remarkable place, has put her in that place where she should be looked up to by the man, but sad to say she has often cheapened herself by neglecting the instruction in the Word of God.
Sometimes I go into a store and see a sale sign, “Slightly used, greatly reduced in price.” It’s too bad when that happens in relationships between men and women. Dear sisters, the world today is out to cheapen you.
You will remember the story of Esau. He came home so hungry from the hunting trip that he just had to have something to eat. He was prepared to give up anything to get food, and his brother Jacob very shrewdly said to him, Come on, Esau, here it is. I’ve got it all ready for you, but I want your birthright. Poor Esau. It says in the New Testament, “Who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright,” and then it tells us, “He found no place for repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears.” I have often thought that the woman of today sometimes finds herself in that situation where she says, “I have to have this and I have to have that,” and she sells her birthright. Esau got a full stomach out of the deal, and you might get something that is temporal, but oh, the loss! A ruined life and loss before the Lord. I can’t emphasize that too strongly. Now the world around you hasn’t been very kind to you in this respect—it has given terrible examples. Our brother was mentioning the words of a worldly song yesterday. All I can say is, if you are wise you will keep that rubbish right out of your house. Don’t even have it there. If you turn the radio on and you hear that kind of song, turn it off. Better still, if I may go one step further, don’t even bother with the radio. You don’t need it. I have one in my home so I will know when the buses are canceled when we have a snowstorm, but that is about all I ever listen to, to be very honest. Keep it out of your house. Do you find that the songs of this world are defiling? Get rid of them. You don’t need them. They will only defile your mind. “Keep thyself pure.”
If you are conducting yourself in a proper way before the Lord, you won’t feel the need of having that which would cheapen you and bring you down to the level of this world.
I said a word or two on dating yesterday and perhaps I could clarify it a little so there isn’t any misunderstanding. I said that there is no pattern in the Word of God for the kind of casual dating that we see today, and yet we sometimes see girls and guys too who feel that they don’t have any status among their peers unless they have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Sad to say sometimes one thing leads to another. There are no rules in these things and if one has a serious interest in another, then spending time together is very much in order. But the idea that I have to do this or do that, the idea (can I be very personal) of going to a general meeting or to a young people’s camp and saying, “Who am I going to take out tonight, or who is going to go out with me?” and maybe it ruins your evening if no one asks you out.
Well I won’t talk too much about that, because I can’t enter into it from a girl’s side. You say, sure it is fine for a guy to go, because he has options. If he wants to go alone, it’s fine, and if he wants to ask someone out, he can do that too, but the girl has to wait for him to ask. All right, wait for the will of God. Never try and take the attitude of this world that says, “If a guy doesn’t ask you out, you go and ask him.” That’s the way it is in the world today. No. “Keep thyself pure.” And if you are found walking before the Lord in that way, I believe you will find that word “chaste” will apply to you. An object of veneration.
The world respects someone who has standards and who stands up for them. I have heard many cases where a guy asked a girl out and she turned him down the first time. Did that turn him away? Most of the time it didn’t. It only made him more anxious to go out with her. Sometimes she wanted to pray about it and be sure that she should go out with him or not. Many times it has ended up in a happy marriage, but she wanted to be sure. She didn’t just grab on because “He asked me, so I had better go.” So I say to you girls, keep yourselves in that position and you will be as we read in Psalm 144, polished, or sculptured after the similitude of a palace. And best of all, if the Lord does give you an earthly relationship and a husband, you will have the joy and satisfaction in your own soul of knowing that you kept yourself pure.