The Police summons on October 14 brought my activities to an abrupt end. For nine and a half years I had spent my days in the Book Room. Apart from the Book Room, almost my only interest had been the Wednesday Bible Class. From both of these I was suddenly cut off, and I had to build up a new life and occupation.
It was a great comfort that I was still allowed to send and receive letters. I suppose they were censored, and we were very careful in what we said, but so far as I know, all the letters at that time got through, both going out and coming in. When they first gave me permission to send a letter, the translator saw me with it in my hand as I was waiting to cross the road to the Post Office, opposite the Police station. She asked me what I said in it, and I told her I had said that I was being questioned, and the Book Room was closed, but that they need not worry, for I knew it was allowed by God, so is all right. "I understand", she said, "I was educated in a Christian school, and they always said everything was all right that God allowed". From things she said, and terms she used, I gathered that she had been at a convent school. One longs that something said in those sessions might have helped her; I felt much drawn to her, and a sense of responsibility for both those young people, with whom I had so much to do. Later she was replaced by another young woman who was very non-committal, and I did not see the first translator again until she translated for me at my trial.
I wrote to my sister, and she wrote to me almost daily, as soon as she knew what was happening. The first few days I had a letter almost every day from my brother, though of course he had no idea of the trouble till nearly two weeks later. It was a great comfort to receive those letters; and every letter that came in told of how many were praying for me. How I valued those prayers, and what a strength they were to me! Once, the British Consul remarked on what an extraordinary thing it was that I was left in such peace. He knew well the troubles of other foreigners taken by the police, and at that very time was trying in vain to do something for the two British Jehovah's Witnesses and the American Roman Catholic Bishop. I am sure the many prayers were the explanation. "For we would not, brethren, have you ignorant of our trouble which came to us in Asia, that we were pressed out of measure... but God delivered us... ye also helping together by prayer for us." 2 Cor. 1:8-118For we would not, brethren, have you ignorant of our trouble which came to us in Asia, that we were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired even of life: 9But we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead: 10Who delivered us from so great a death, and doth deliver: in whom we trust that he will yet deliver us; 11Ye also helping together by prayer for us, that for the gift bestowed upon us by the means of many persons thanks may be given by many on our behalf. (2 Corinthians 1:8‑11).
Just at the time I was taken by the police there was a great Hygiene drive. Every one was ordered to clean house, and to get rid of the "five pests"-mosquitoes, flies, rats, cockroaches and sparrows. Then the Lane Leaders would come in to inspect, pull out drawers, look behind boxes, under beds, wherever dirt or vermin might collect. My housekeeper and I worked hard, thoroughly housecleaning the whole place. I was glad to have this occupation when I could not settle to anything else. The house was old, and terribly full of things, for my brother's family had lived there since 1930, and each one had left things behind, and there was much belonging to the Book Room. I sorted and cleaned and destroyed, always remembering I might have to leave at any time.
Poison was distributed by the Lane committee for rats and cockroaches, and it was very effective, and we were very thankful to be rid of them. But when it came to destroying the sparrows I felt very sad. It was a great performance. A day was set apart for exterminating sparrows: schools were closed for the day, and school children and workers from factories were sent out to keep the sparrows constantly on the move so that they might die of exhaustion. The day before, scarecrows had been put up on rooftops and in trees. Before dawn people came with long ladders to climb to the roof to destroy nests. All day long young men were rushing round with long poles, banging tin pans, climbing over our roof, shouting and letting off crackers. When they saw a sparrow such a roar went up, one might think they were chasing a lion. They did more harm to our garden than a thousand sparrows, and we had to have more than forty tiles replaced on the roof. Every little while it was announced over loudspeakers how many thousands of sparrows had been destroyed. Of course, this was merely propaganda, I do not think very many perished. In Peking, the students complained that they could not catch the sparrows because they took refuge in the grounds of the British Embassy-political refugees! In Shanghai about a hundred students patrolled the big gardens of the British Consulate, but I was told they caught only one sparrow, or perhaps two. In our garden, after it was all over, there were still five sparrows constantly flying round, and perching opposite my window. I counted them again and again, but I was so stupid, it was not till my brother remarked on it in a letter that I realized those five sparrows were a message from our Father in Heaven. I was grieved for the little birds, but I, and the Christians for whom I was so grieved, were to Him "of more value than many sparrows". Lu. 12:6, 7.
Food had been becoming increasingly scarce for over a year, so much was being exported. It was most irritating to look into the windows of the former Cathay Hotel on the corner of the Bund, and see the display of red tea, jam, tinned meats, milk, fruits and vegetables which were being prepared for export, and to be able to buy none in the shops or market. For a short time, as a foreigner, I was allowed to buy these goods for export in the "Friendship shop", the big store on Nanking Road prepared for tourists, and where only foreigners were allowed upstairs. But soon that was stopped, and the goods could be sold only to those with landing permits, proving they really were tourists; or to "specialists", the advisers, mostly Russian, who were sent in to help in developing the country. It now became very difficult to get almost all kinds of food. The ration was four ounces of pork once in ten days; just before I left it was reduced to two ounces. To get the ration often my housekeeper would have to get up at four in the morning and stand in line for two or three hours, and then perhaps be told that the supply was finished, and she must go back again the next day. Sugar was four or five ounces a month, and one could get it only at certain shops. Oil was twelve ounces a month. There were no eggs, no peanuts, no butter or peanut butter, very seldom milk powder, we could get very nice soya bean milk powder, though we could not buy the beans. There was no beef or mutton to be bought, any there was, was reserved for Moslems, who do not eat pork. We got fish occasionally; later it was rationed, a half catty every ten days. Vegetables were very scarce, but fortunately we had greens growing in our garden. How anxiously we watched them when the frost was coming, and carefully covered them over with old sacking and paper. There was really sufficient rice at that time, though some people found themselves short, and the country people fared much worse than we in Shanghai. They would bring in their sugar ration tickets, and beg people to change them for rice tickets.
After the first few weeks, when I was no longer being called daily by the police, they agreed that they would notify me the day before if they wanted me, so that I might go out early to get bread. Twice a week I went to town, leaving the house soon after seven. The difficulty was to find a shop selling bread, for it changed almost every week. When I 'found a place, I would stand in line for a longer or shorter period.
The bread got worse and worse, made of various flour substitutes, which made it gray and hard. Often, I would find a shop selling fruit, and I would attach myself to the line, and after perhaps half an hour get a pound of oranges or bananas, or apples which were too bruised to be exported. At last there was no fruit but Arabian dates, all the shops were full of them, and every one was sick of them.
I was never short of food, the Chinese Christians were so good to me. One old brother often waited all night at the market to be well up in the line to buy eggs-he would get ten eggs, and bring them to me. Later, when there were no eggs to be had, he would often share with me cabbage or greens for which he had waited all night. Again and again my housekeeper would come to me and say, "God has sent you six eggs", or "God has sent you oranges", or some other food impossible to buy. I knew very well who the messengers from God were, but it had to be kept very secret, for not only did they deny themselves, but they also ran considerable risk in helping an "anti-revolutionary". But in that day their Lord will say to them, "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these My brethren, ye have done it unto Me". Matt. 25:4040And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. (Matthew 25:40).
Food was cheap enough, if one were able to get it. In Canadian money, pork and beef were about forty cents a pound; eggs about three cents each, carrots two pounds for five cents, cabbage about five cents each, fruit about fifteen to twenty cents a pound. The trouble was there was none to be bought. I am afraid I have said a great deal about food, but people always seem interested; and it is a very interesting subject when you have not enough.
The Lord gave me some very delicious spiritual food at this time. Almost every day I received a special message of encouragement from the Scriptures; I kept a record of them in a little book which I have here before me. But each must receive his own message from the Lord, they would not speak to you as they did to me. The verses on the "Christian" calendar often spoke to me. One of the first was "When the enemy comes in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord shall lift up a standard against him." Is. 59:19, or, as the margin reads, "shall put him to flight" Then there was the lovely promise that I lived on for days, "Thou art my Hiding place; Thou shalt preserve me from trouble; Thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance" Ps. 32:7. I found that when the Holy Spirit brought a Scripture to mind, it was best to look it up, and find the context, and this might correct or enlarge my first impression. The promise "A bruised reed shall He not break, and smoking wax shall He not quench till He send forth judgment unto victory". Matt. 12:2020A bruised reed shall he not break, and smoking flax shall he not quench, till he send forth judgment unto victory. (Matthew 12:20) was a great comfort as I thought of the Christians who had broken under the fierce pressure of materialism, unable to maintain the bright flame of testimony. Sometimes a whole line of thought would develop. I have collected some of the larger fragments into the next chapter.
Each month I went down to the Bank to receive my remittance from Hong Kong. This was always a red letter day. I walked down Hong Kong Road, past the China Bible House. It was still straightly shut up; all the employees had been called to receive indoctrination at the Moore Memorial Church with the second group of Church workers. There was a notice on the door that the shop would be open for an hour twice a week. Bibles could be bought at the United Christian Bookshops, but I was told that all who bought must register their names. People were afraid to do this, but Bibles could be bought at second hand shops. Then I looked at my shop, on the north corner of Hong Kong Road. There was a terrible muddle inside, where the Police had searched it. They had torn down some of the posters in the window, especially those with the Cross; but there were still several there, quite enough to bring news of salvation to the passer-by. The text "God is our Refuge and Strength, a very Present Help in trouble" had been torn down, and lay across the window shelf. Each month another coating of dust had settled on it, until it was quite illegible. But it was still true!
The Hong Kong and Shanghai Bank had moved into the top floor of the building on the South corner of Hong Kong Road. There I entered quite another world: order, warmth, friendship, liberty-though they were not without their troubles! While I waited, I looked over Punch, or "Country Life". While the forms were being made out, the Bank Secretary would bring me a cup of tea, and a collection of English newspapers. We had a little chat, and I felt once again in touch with the free world.
I longed to know something of what was happening in the great world outside. For a time, I had received the little English paper published five times a week in Peking. It was all propaganda, but one could glean a little news from it; and the articles were mostly translated from the Chinese papers, so it gave one a little idea of what the Chinese were hearing and thinking. That had stopped a year or more before. There were other English papers, mostly luridly propagandist, for consumption abroad. Others were more for home consumption, since English had become an approved study. These were rather theoretically and philosophically propagandist. But all were sickeningly false in outlook and teaching, and probably in facts. The only newspaper allowed from England was the Daily Worker. I sometimes got a copy, but the news was two months old or more. I sometimes got these papers published in China, and sometimes gleaned a little information from them. But I felt defiled by reading them; and even though I knew they were false, I sometimes felt the influence of their propaganda creeping over me. It made me realize how hard it was for my brethren to stand, who were compelled to read the papers daily, compelled constantly to bear the pressure of that propaganda.
I had often dreamed of how lovely it would be to have unlimited leisure, and how much I would do.. But when I had it thus forced on me, I found it hard to settle to work. No doubt it was good to be set aside for a time. The years had been very full, and now there was a keeping of the sabbaths, which perhaps had been neglected. I had time as never before to read, and pray, and meditate. Every day I tried to read a chapter in the Chinese Bible; and to translate a chapter from Dr. Rossier's commentary on second Chronicles. I read through a number of Bible commentaries, and some biographies; I especially enjoyed the life of A.L.O.E., the writer of children's books, who went as a missionary to India when she was nearly sixty; and of Mrs. Sewell, who wrote about poor children in London, and who was the mother of the author of Black Beauty.
I found it easier to work with my hands, than with my head, and did a good bit of sewing. I made a wonderful patchwork petticoat of old scraps of black woolen cloth; I made a whole collection of old woolies into a warm thick blanket by sewing them on cheesecloth, which was not rationed; and I took the beautiful brocade cover off my silk wadding jacket, and put on a plain cover and relined the brocade: and only those who have tried to make a Chinese coat will know how big a job that was. One thing fretted me very much, and I fear showed how small my mind was. During the summer, I had unraveled my old Canadian homespun skirt, and the knitted jacket to match. I had then had the wool spun up into fresh yarn. Shanghai was full of shops making old wool into new. There was just enough to knit a heavy cardigan. One third of the wool was at the Book Room, and of course was locked in there. The other two thirds I had knitted up, but there was not enough to finish, and I was sure I would never again see the other third.
I spent most of the time in the little upstairs sunroom. These six months were the cold months of the year, and very cold they could be when there was no way of heating, and the thermometer below freezing. But when the sun shone, the sunroom was pleasantly warm, and in my wadded coat and patchwork petticoat, and eight or ten other garments, I was very comfortable. I took great pleasure in the plants I tried to grow. When I see the glowing masses of petunias everywhere in Canada, I recall the petunias I tried to grow, and my intense satisfaction when they produced one scrawny flower. From its windows, I could see the grounds of what had once been the Children's Refuge of the Door of Hope. Now it was a Middle School, and I watched the students with great interest, drilling, singing patriotic songs, learning to shoot and to throw hand grenades. Every one must drill, for a time even the old women were called out to the lane for drill between seven and eight A.M.
I had not been called for questioning since November 20, and I thought that at Christmas I would venture again to visit my friends, perhaps even go to the English Bible class. As it proved afterward, this would have been very unwise, and the Lord prevented it by sending me a boil on my lip, which kept me in the house for some days. It was painful, and made me feel rather miserable, but I knew this had come from the Lord, and I learned how much better it is "to fall into the hand of the Lord" 2 Sam. 24:1414And David said unto Gad, I am in a great strait: let us fall now into the hand of the Lord; for his mercies are great: and let me not fall into the hand of man. (2 Samuel 24:14) than into the hand of man. In this suffering from the hand of God there was no fear, or anguish of heart; and it was a comfort to feel His rod guiding, and restoring me from my own way to His path. It was also a time of experiencing continued kindness from the dear Chinese Christians. I did not dare to endanger Doctor friends by calling them in; but one whom I had scarcely seen before prescribed for me by telephone, and provided me with all necessary medicine. I was much disappointed not to be able to go to the Post Office; but when Christmas came, a friend brought me my mail, letters, and many cards, which were very welcome. There were gifts too from many in Shanghai: very acceptable was a pound of real Indian tea from the Consul; and there were flowers and cakes, very precious, for they were sent with some risk to the sender, and assured me of the remembrance of those I had not seen for long. The special celebration for Christmas dinner was a dish of Irish potatoes, which we had not been able to get for over a year; but they were rather nasty.
Christmas is a wonderful time. We know it probably is not the day on which the Savior was born. The early Christians were mostly slaves, and if they wanted to keep a festival of remembrance they must choose one of the public holidays, just as we do for our conferences. And what more suitable festival could they have chosen to celebrate the birth of the Savior than the Winter Solstice? the celebration of the victory of Light over darkness, when the first brief increase of day over night may be observed, that was the time chosen by those early Christians to celebrate the birth of the Son of God, "the true Light... Which, coming into the world, lightens every man. John 1:99That was the true Light, which lighteth every man that cometh into the world. (John 1:9). NT. They were men living under the shadow of that darkness, which was always ready to blot out their earthly life. We who live in the Light of Christian lands can scarcely realize the oppressive weight of darkness in heathen lands, or worse still, the godless, God-hating lands of Communism. But there is enough spiritual darkness everywhere for us to join in the rejoicing at the turn of the year that "the darkness is passing away and the true Light already shines" 1 John 2:88Again, a new commandment I write unto you, which thing is true in him and in you: because the darkness is past, and the true light now shineth. (1 John 2:8) NT.
The verse with which I awoke on Christmas morning was "great joy... to all people". Lu. 2:10. What a wonderful thing that Heaven could rejoice on that first Christmas! The Son had emptied Himself of His glory, "humbled Himself" to enter upon a toilsome, lonely life as the Man of Sorrows for thirty three years, a life ending in unspeakable suffering. The Father had given Him, and was left lonely in Heaven. And yet all Heaven blazed with joy! Joy, because man was to be reconciled. What value it gives to the human soul! And what could they see in man to make it all worth while? Angels were praising and rejoicing, though they had no share in it, "for He does not indeed take hold of angels (to help them) Heb. 2:1616For verily he took not on him the nature of angels; but he took on him the seed of Abraham. (Hebrews 2:16) NT. Their message is "Unto you is born a Savior". Lu. 2:11. And the Prophet has the same message "Unto us a Child is born, unto us, a Son is given" Is. 9:6. The "Child is born", a Man, Who perfectly understands the weakness of our humanity, "able to sympathize with our infirmities, tempted in all things in like manner, sin apart". Heb. 4:1515For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. (Hebrews 4:15) NT. The "Son is given", the Son of God, "the Mighty God", "Mighty to save" Is. 63:1. He is sent to you. Have you accepted Him, dying as your Savior? Living and ruling, as your Lord and your God?
In the new year, I went out, visited friends, even went to the Bible class. There were occasional excitements. Once I was invited to lunch at the Consulate to meet a Canadian couple, tourists who were passing through. It was in January, and very cold and uninteresting they found it, shepherded round by a guide, who wished even to breakfast with them in their room, and to show them endless industrial projects, in which they were not interested. I enjoyed that luncheon immensely. It was like getting right out of China, to meet people from Toronto, who talked about summer on the Georgian Bay, instead of about politics and food. And the food was so good-real roast beef, and delicious apple pie. Another time I met a business man whom I knew slightly, and he invited me in to have coffee, and we had a long talk, in English! Less pleasant, I was called up by the police: 1 had been going out too much, and was warned to stay at home.
Chinese New Year fell on February the eighth. It was very different from the old days-there were no firecrackers; a few had new clothes, but there were none of the beautiful silks and brocades that used to make the streets so gay; many did not even have a holiday; and I fear there were almost no special evangelistic services. But there were special rations of food, and this was absorbingly interesting-one and a half cattier of peanuts, half a catty of eggs, a catty of melon seed, red dates, a quarter catty of honey dates, and of 'golden needles' (the bud of a sort of tiger lily) fresh and salted pork, and Meat. The great question was whether to have quality, or quantity? One could choose a half chicken, or a pound of pork, or a pound and a half of beef, or two pounds and a half of mutton. Mutton is generally despised by the Chinese, but now everyone was so hungry, every one chose mutton, so there was not enough to go round. Rather unfairly it was apportioned according to households. So, I, as a household of one, had the full allowance for myself; while a family of six must divide it between them. Finally, the meat was given to the Lane Committee to divide, and in my house, the housekeeper with a family of three had mutton; the lodger had chicken, and I had beef, which is supposed to be the natural food of the British. The weather was cold, as usual at Chinese New Year which theoretically is the beginning of spring, so the food kept, and we lived on abundance for days.
Time went on, each day much like the last. I sometimes wondered if it would last forever. I knew how many Chinese had been held indefinitely without trial. But suddenly and finally the end came.