MY earliest recollections are associated with M. F. J. She was my first friend, and I was almost her only one, for she never formed the same link with another.
Our acquaintance began so early that I have no remembrance of its commencement.
She had a sister a few years older. They were both strikingly pretty, very clever, and always dressed with the greatest taste. All this made them very attractive to my childish eyes. Added to this, they possessed a most loving kind manner, which made them have a power over me no one else had. No other house had the fascination theirs had to me.
I well remember the pleasure with which I looked forward to spending any time] with them.
We were all fond of music and painting, an our tastes and ways being so much alike, drew us often together. We also delighted much in rambling over the hills, and walking into the country, gathering wild flowers, and listening to the songs of the birds. Light hearted and merry we knew neither care, nor sorrow.
This world was bright and beautiful to us; and we thought of nothing beyond.
As soon as they grew up they became communicants in the church they attended. At this time they were in great anxiety, not however about their eternal welfare, but that they might pass through the examination of the clergyman creditably. This they did, and so were lulled into a state of perfect peace and security as to the future, concluding that as the clergyman was quite satisfied, all was well.
About this time circumstances occurred which separated us, so that we seldom met.
Sometimes I heard of them, and pleasure parties, concerts, theaters, and the like seemed to be the scenes of their enjoyments.
With the same love for pleasure in my heart I had not the same liberty to enter into it, and when at last it did seem to open up before me, and the false glitter of the world was beginning to dazzle me, the Lord in His deep grace sent one to deal with me about my soul.
I had little outwardly to break with; as all the world I knew was more from reading than from being actually in it. Yet even this was a hindrance to me at first, as my ideas of it were far brighter than the reality could have been.
But the Lord was above every hindrance, and gave me to know something so infinitely better, that all the brightness of earth was dimmed for me.
'Brought now into a sphere of light, and blessing, I shrank even from contact with the whole scene, fearing lest anything should in the least turn me aside from that straight path which is truly as a shining light, shining more and more, unto the perfect day.
Reader, do you know this path? Has the light from the glory blinded you, to the attractions of this poor scene? Or have you been blinded by the Go& of this world? Remember there will come a time when your eyes will be opened. Remember the record we have of one, “who was clothed in purple and. fine linen, and fared sumptuously every day." "And in hell he lifted up his eyes, being in torment.”
If unsaved, the path you are on will lead you to that place of torment. “If you turn not he will whet his sword, he path bent his bow and made it ready." "He that believeth not, is condemned already.”
You do not need to commit some great sin in order to perish. All you require to do is to “forget God," to "neglect" His salvation.
“The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God.”
How shall ye escape, if ye neglect so great salvation?
I often thought of my early friends with a longing desire for their conversion, but knowing the power they had over me in the past I hesitated in making may effort to reach them.
They had heard of my conversion, and of how I had given up novel reading, and pleasure-seeking, and their answer to the one who told them, was “Poor thing, how miserable she must be. Why we can do all these things, and never feel our souls injured." At last I tried to speak with them about their souls. It was arranged that they were to spend an evening with us. It was our first meeting since my change. I can never forget that evening, as they sat with us, so beautiful, so attractive, and so loving.
I sought very gently to tell them how the Lord had dealt with me. How, like the lost sheep in Luke 15, I had been straying away from Him, from a child, but that He had sought me and found me. I dwelt much upon His love that did not punish me for my waywardness, but which had brought me back with rejoicing.
I told them also of the joy I had when brought back, how I could almost have imagined I was in heaven, and saw the rejoicing there was then going on, over me—a sinner repenting—not the joy of angels, but the joy of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, over the lost one brought back.
I then asked them, whether they too would not wish to have their sins forgiven, to be found of the good. Shepherd, and to receive eternal life.
They had heard me almost in silence, till I addressed them personally, but when I put those questions to them, they both drew themselves up, and one of them replied,
“O, but you must remember, there were ninety and nine sheep, who never went astray!”
"Then," said I, " you can have no benefit from the work of the Lord Jesus, for He says expressly that he did not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance ' that they that are whole need not a physician, but they that are sick,' and that the Son of man is come to SEEK and to SAVE that which was lost.'
“And Scripture tells us," I said,” that there is none righteous, no not one," “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God,” and "there is no difference." They were quite willing that I should be the lost sheep, if I liked, but they both held to it, that they were not, for they had always loved and followed the Saviour.
I was amazed, I had never heard of anyone taking such ground. They had, truly, built their houses, as they thought securely, upon the sand, and they would not leave theme I brought Scripture after Scripture to prove the fallacy of their hope, but in vain. They who all their lives, had lived only to please themselves, and upon whose whole course might have been written, "All is vanity" from first to last, they would not own that they were lost. Amiable and loveable, as they were, I gave them all due allowance for it, and willingly took the place of being the greatest sinner—the creditor who owed the five hundred pence—and expected that they would have owned to the fifty, but no I They were neither the one nor the other. They had always believed on the Lord, and were quite sure they were going to heaven.
We parted, and that was my first and last meeting, after my conversion, with M. F. J.
I was so discouraged that I had no spirit to make another effort.
How little did I think as we parted, she in all the bloom of youth, health, and beauty, that we should never meet again on earth.
After some time I heard that she had gone to an evening party, and had caught a very severe cold, which had been allowed to go on without much attention.
At length the fears of her family were aroused, and an eminent physician was called in, who declared she was in consumption. “Consumption," she cried, in the greatest alarm;" and shall I never sing again?”
“No," replied the doctor," it is not likely?' From this time terror seized hold of her. She could not bear to be left alone.
Death dared not be named in her presence.
A light had to be kept burning in her room all night, the darkness terrified her.
The doctor ordered her away for change of air. She had only been away for a few days when one morning after breakfast, the day being fine, she went out for a short walk. She returned again very soon, and went into her bedroom, her mother followed, and immediately she said, “Oh! Mother, send for the doctor.
I am dying." She then cried out:" Oh! God have mercy upon my soul.”
With that the blood flowed from her mouth, and in a little more than ten minutes, the beautiful and attractive M. F. J. was no more.
When I first heard of her illness I did not think it was serious, and when I purposed trying to see her she had been removed to the country.
I make no comment as to where she may be, but, dear reader, "Where art thou?”
Are you living in pleasure? Remember “She that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth.”
If the summons came to you as suddenly as to my early friend, where would it find you?
In your sins? Or washed in the blood of the Lamb? Which?
“Be ye ready also, for at such an hour, as ye think not, the SON OF MAN COMETH.”
“Except a man be born again he cannot see the kingdom of God." L. R. H.