TOM M―, of―, was brought up in the Catholic faith. His mother having died the day of his birth, he was confided to the care of an aunt, a woman who, whilst zealous for the tradition of her fathers, at the same time loved to read the Word of God. And more than this, she had learned to love the Saviour, revealed in its precious pages, and often instilled its blessed precepts and instructive histories, especially that of Jesus the Son of God, into the mind of her young charge.
Tom’s father falling into difficulties, the family was scattered, and, at the age of nine, the boy was sent to live with his grandmother in another village. Here he was put to cattle-minding, and also employed in the service of the curate. About this time God began to work in his soul, and he became very anxious, dreading lest he should die in his sins, and be lost forever. Turning very religious, he confessed his sins to the priest, said his prayers, performed penances, and strove all he knew how to please God; but only to find that his thoughts were constantly distracted from the thing of God, and all his best performances mixed with sin. As far off from peace as ever, he began to think that a monastic life would be the only way to attain the happiness he so much desired.
Presently the curate left, and a Capucin monk came temporarily to fulfill his duties. Father X―was a man in years, venerable-looking, kind, and gracious, and an eloquent preacher. His health being feeble, it was thought advisable that he should go into a lodging, instead of occupying the presbytery, and he came to live at the house of Tom’s grandmother. Here Tom waited upon him, and slept in the same chamber, and the monk, taking a fancy to the youth, made him quite a friend.
Finding one day that he was going to visit his monastery at some distance to fetch some books, Tom expressed the desire of his heart to visit it also. To his great joy he took him with him. But he was greatly astonished to find on his arrival that the monastery was a very different place to what his young mind imagined. At the back of a large building adorned with pictures of the life of the founder of the order, he saw a magnificent garden, with large greenhouses, filled with the choicest plants, fruits, and vegetables, and a skittle ground for the amusement of the monks. And happening to look, through an open door in the corridor, he was confounded on seeing three of the inmates seated comfortably round a table playing at cards.
On the way home the Capucin and his companion rested a while on a hill near their village when the former, noticing the troubled look of his young friend, asked him what ailed him. Tom then opened all his heart, and told the monk of his troubles of conscience, his combats, his fears; adding, that notwithstanding all his efforts to keep the commandments of God, to follow his religious duties, and the behests of the Holy Church, all seemed in vain, and that he was a perfect stranger to true repose of soul. And finding that, in spite of all his efforts, his thoughts were so disturbed, he had imagined that the only way for him was to leave this poor world and its temptations, and to enter a monastery. “I would give all the world,” added poor Tom in conclusion, “to be like you.”
To his great surprise the Capucin replied: ― “Ah, do not deceive yourself, my young friend; it is not a frock, and penances, and austere exercises which can deliver you from the state you are in, nor give you any relief. The heart of man is wicked and incorrigible, and ever remains so. It is only the Lord that can deliver you, only His blood can purify you. Redemption is accomplished. Out of Christ there is no salvation. Wait till these things are applied to you.”
“But,” exclaimed Tom, filled with astonishment, “if that is the case, how is it that you, my father, are a Capucin? Pardon me the liberty.”
“It was the same need that you are experiencing that led me to act thus; but, speaking from my experience, I cannot advise you to think of a similar step.”
“I know your sincerity, my father; but permit me to ask you one more question. You speak of the blood that purifies and accomplished redemption. But is it not by the unbloody sacrifice, the mass, that we put ourselves under the merits of the sacrifice of Christ? At least the Church teaches us that.”
“Yes, it is true the Church teaches that, and I would not weaken your confidence in what the Holy Church says. But you must not place the authority of the Church above that of God. Do you not believe that the Father can apply the merits of His Son to whom He pleases?”
“I think so; but how can one know?”
“I tell you, wait, be patient, that is all I may say, for in John 3:88The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh, and whither it goeth: so is every one that is born of the Spirit. (John 3:8) we read, ‘The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh and whither it goeth: so is every one that is born of the Spirit. I repeat, my young friend, wait patiently.”
The two returned home. Soon after the Capucin, being seriously ill, returned to the monastery. Tom went to his sheep-minding, the monk’s words dissuading him for the moment from the thought of a monastic life. At the same time some hope filled his breast, but he still lacked peace. Probably this dear man had spoken according to the measure of his intelligence in these things; or, if he knew more, feared for the moment to compromise his position. Later on he spoke out more boldly.
Two years after Tom left his grandmother, and eventually took work with a blacksmith. Here he met with a severe accident, being kicked by a horse on the leg, which became so bad that, after great suffering, he was forced to be removed to the hospital. Visited by his aunt, she left him a New Testament, trusting it would become a blessing to his soul. The priest came shortly after, and seeing it at the side of his bed, inquired where he had obtained it. Finding it was the aunt, he went immediately to Tom’s uncle, and solemnly warned him against her, advising that she should be forthwith removed to an asylum, where she was forcibly taken a few days after.
It being necessary to amputate Tom’s leg, the priest removed the New Testament, and administered extreme unction, to which he submitted, hoping to find some consolation, with the uncertainty of the issue before him. He recovered, however, from the operation, and in two months was enabled to go out again. But still his soul lacked peace; and again he passed through deep exercises, spending hours of the night in prayer with a crucifix in his hand, the priest recommending him to go a pilgrimage on his crotches. Poor, maimed, and miserable, he was almost delivered over to despair.
Just at this time his eye lit upon an old picture with the letters I.H.S. underneath, and a verse of Scripture, Acts 4:1212Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved. (Acts 4:12): “There is none other name, under heaven given among men whereby we must be saved.” Tom was greatly struck with these words, and meditated on them for many days, and hope sprang up in his breast. But he was sorely puzzled as to how he could be saved by someone else, and turned to the curate for an explanation, only to be plunged into still greater perplexity.
After this, being lame, he commenced tailoring, and employed his spare time in reading twelve volumes of “Legends of the Saints,” and serious thoughts of entering a convent again filled his mind, but he was hindered.
Removing to another village to pursue his calling, he arrived just at the time of several pilgrimages to the church, where there was a cross to which was attributed the performance of wonderful miracles. Hundreds of pilgrims arrived every Friday. Special and solemn services were held at the church, and one day Tom went with the rest, when what was his surprise to find in the pulpit his old friend Father X—. But in his sermon he not only did not make mention of this cross, but dwelt on the finished work of Christ, and wound up a most eloquent discourse with the words: “It is at the cross of Calvary that Jesus the Son of God has shown how much He loves us, in drinking the cup of wrath for us; and it is at the foot of that cross that the guilty sinner finds pardon, the lost sinner deliverance, and the dead sinner life. Amen.”
These words made a deep impression on Tom, and remained engraven in his memory.
A little later he found himself in a village where only French was spoken, of which language he was as yet completely ignorant. Being without resource, he prayed at the entrance that God would direct him to some work where he could find out the way to be saved, a prayer which was heard, and answered a little later on. It was a Protestant village, and there were certain persons in it who knew and loved the Saviour. Living there some time, it happened one day that he entered into conversation with two others, one of whom was an earnest Christian. He was shown several passages in the New Testament, and was greatly struck by Hebrews 10:1414For by one offering he hath perfected for ever them that are sanctified. (Hebrews 10:14), “By one offering he hath perfected forever them that are sanctified.” Demanding an explanation of the verse, one of his companions unfolded before him very simply the precious foundation truths of the gospel of God, and the light broke into his soul. For twelve long weary years he had been groping in the dark, but now he was filled with astonishment at the blessed simplicity of the Word of God. He apprehended the infinite value of the precious blood of Christ, and saw by faith that His finished work had glorified God perfectly. His sins were forgiven for His name’s sake (1 John 2:1212I write unto you, little children, because your sins are forgiven you for his name's sake. (1 John 2:12)), and he was at peace with God. The long night of darkness and doubt was passed, and the bright day of light and assurance had taken its place. Tom was saved.
And it was a complete deliverance, not only from the weary burden of his sins, but from the heavy yoke also of a false system of works, and doings in the flesh, instead of the glorious salvation of God, found only in the Living Christ and His finished work.
Shortly after this his aunt died, resting in perfect peace on the infinite value of Christ’s precious blood.
Many years later, Tom’s father, having come to stay a while with his son, recounted to him the following incident: ―Working as an engineer on a new railway, the weather being extremely hot, he and two other companions called at a monastery, and obtained an entrance under the plea of seeking a good point of view from the tower, so that they might arrange the course of the line without interfering with the convent. Their ruse succeeded, and the chief ecclesiastic invited them to partake of some wine and a comfortable repast before leaving. Presently an aged and benevolent-looking man, leaning on two sticks, entered the hall. Who should it be but our friend, the monk X―!
Inviting Tom’s father into the garden, he inquired after the whole family, and was greatly pleased to hear of the conversion of Tom, desiring him to give him his cordial salutations when he wrote. He further explained to his visitor that he was placed there in, retreat on account of his having announced publicly the way of grace, but nothing touched the joy in Christ that filled his heart; and concluded by expressing his hope that Tom’s father would soon receive the same blessing as his son, a wish which was shortly after realized.
A little later the aged monk fell peacefully asleep through Jesus. Tom lives on still, following in the way, by the grace of God, rejoicing in Christ, seeking to serve Him in good works in the path of faith, and finding his joy too in announcing the glad tidings of salvation to others.
How wondrous are the ways of God! Beloved reader, what think ye of these things? Is the conversion of a soul a myth, or a blessed bright reality? Is heaven to be attained by the fleshly efforts of the poor sinner, or by Christ and His finished work? Learn, then, from the above history the fruitlessness of human doings, human religion, and come as a poor guilty lost one to the precious Saviour, raised up and glorified on high. Christ Jesus only can save you. His blood alone can cleanse you. Come then simply to Him; come now. Guilty, you need forgiveness; lost, you need salvation; dead, you need life. Come to Jesus, and all these precious things are yours.
A Living Christ is on the throne of God; His work glorified God. And now God presents Him to you in the gospel as the object of faith. “To him give all the prophets witness, that, through his name, whosoever believeth in him shall receive remission of sins” (Acts 10:4343To him give all the prophets witness, that through his name whosoever believeth in him shall receive remission of sins. (Acts 10:43)). Christ is all. By faith in Him, a peace which the world can neither give nor take away will fill your soul, and soon, kept by the grace of a Saviour God, you shall reap with Christ in glory the eternal fruits of His finished work. E. H. C.