SOME years ago I was asked to go and see an old lady, who was on her dying bed, as people say. She was over seventy years of age, and the doctors said she could not recover, or last many days. Old age and bronchitis, together with a severe winter, had been too much for her constitution, and now “the end” was come.
She had been asked if she would like to see a clergyman or minister of some sort; she said, “No,” but she told her son she would like to see me, if I would come. I consented, and went, wondering what she could want to see me for.
I was just a Christian, and that was all. I knew all my sins were forgiven, and why; and my only confidence was truly in the Lord Jesus Christ and His work on the cross, and not in any way of myself. I was also much occupied in doing well unto myself in the things of this life. My soul being safe and all secure for the next world, I thought the very next best thing to do was to make money fast, and thus secure my comforts and position in this.
I had known this old lady for years, she was what is called a fine woman, tall and strong, with a clear gray eye, and distinctly cut, stern features she was upright in both her figure and conduct, very reserved and proud; few were intimate with her, she was so independent. I was one of those few, and she would sometimes gossip a little with me; I was very young, and liked the notice the old lady took of me. Every Sunday she endeavored to go to a place of worship, church or chapel, but directly anybody took any notice of her, or showed her any attention, such as offering her a hymn book, &c., away she went, never to return, it may be. In this way she had gone over a considerable section of London, and attended, in the course of years, most of the so-called places of worship, especially those in her own neighborhood.
She would seldom discuss religious matters, but now and then she would say a little. One Sunday she went to one place and evidently heard what is termed a “moving discourse,” and was somewhat arrested by it. She was, however, a little late in leaving, and as she did so she observed the preacher come out of the vestry and get into a well-appointed brougham. That was enough for her, she told me; she put it all down as insincere, fine talk, and nothing else, for which he was well paid, &c. &c. &c. This will show you how crude her judgment was, but it also shows how careful those who preach Jesus should be in their testimony in all things: It has been remarked before, that there is one thing that God, Satan, and the world are agreed about, and that is, that a Christian shall be consistent. Now it may have been a necessity this brougham, or it may not, I do not know; but one thing is clear, those who preach Jesus must be prepared to follow Jesus, or their words will have little weight.
This old lady’s one ambition in life was to see her only son wealthy, and she lived to see it gratified. She toiled and stinted long years, day and night, early and late; to this, and for this, she spent her life. I do not think her son had a carriage when she saw this particular preacher get into his, and this may have made her jealous of him; I know not, I only know she was very angry.
To return to our narrative. I went to see the old lady as agreed; as I entered the room I found all rather dark, the door was softly closed behind me, I could scarcely see anything, only I heard heavy and labored breathing. The room was paneled with wood, and the house surrounded by high buildings, and naturally dismal; added to this, the yellow blinds were drawn down, all was close and dark, still and warm. I walked to the bed, there lay the old lady.
“Oh, here you are, laddie; I am very ill, I shan’t last long, the doctors say.”
I think I said “Yes.” I scarce knew what to say.
She then said, “I asked (that was her son) to send you to me, I wanted to tell you something.”
“Yes,” I replied; “what is it?”
“Well,” she said, “will you read with me?”
“What shall I read?”
“Out of the Bible,” she replied.
So I read her two or three short passages, I forget what. Then she asked me to pray. I did so. I had never done such a thing before, and I have no recollection of what I said, except that I had a feeling that this was a case where God alone could help, and I suppose my prayer took this form.
Then the old lady said, “Come here, laddie, I want to tell you my ideas; come close, I have never told any one my ideas, not even― (alluding again to her son), but I want to tell you.”
“Yes,” I said, “what is it?”
“Well, come close; I have never told anyone. Now, these are my ideas, there is but one way to heaven,” and then she paused and took breath, “but nobody knows it, nobody knows it,” she added emphatically.
For the moment I was simply aghast; I had a small inclination to cry, and then a very strong one to laugh, it was so intensely ridiculous and absurd. The sense of how terrible and bald it was as a deathbed confession instantly checked this feeling. I was silent for a short time, and then I said, “The first half of what you say is true, I know; but I don’t think the last half is, because there is a text which tells us the way.”
“Is there,” she said; “lead it to me.”
With some difficulty I found John 14:66Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. (John 14:6), “Jesus saith unto him, I am, the way, the truth, and the life.” I said, “Jesus Christ said that, so He is the way, and we must all look to Him.”
“Is it there?” she asked; “all you sure?” I read it again.
She waited some little time, and then she said, “Oh, no, laddie. Nobody knows it! Nobody knows it!”
And this was all she could attain to, after all her journeyings and sermons; and so wishing her a long good-bye, I left her. Two days after she died. “Always learning, and never able to come to a knowledge of the truth,” was true of her.
The reader may now possibly query why I relate so melancholy and sad a history. I can only simply reply, to show how impossible it is for the natural mind to arrive, by its own aid, at the knowledge of God, or the ways of God. This poor old lady possessed a keen intelligence, and readily distinguished between the things that differ in the affairs of this life; she had also heard many learned divines and great preachers, but all was of no avail. She would not submit herself to the Word of God. She was proud and ambitious; in a way honest, and could not consent to take her place before God as a wretched sinner, and accept the blessed Lord Jesus as her Saviour.
She is not alone; today many of those who are called the leaders of thought, and great philosophers and scientists, confess themselves to be “agnostics,” that is, they own they know nothing but what their five senses can teach them; and though full of scholarship and science, are really as ignorant of what concerns their souls, of what is before them in eternity, and what is due to the glory of God, and what are the counsels of God, as this old lady, who, as regards scholarly and intellectual attainments, was ignorant enough. Water cannot rise above its own level, nor man above man; and man left to himself, knows no more about God and His salvation, than a fish about the laws that regulate the tides of the waters in which he swims.
Many know there can be but ONE right way. The laws of nature teach them that by analogy; but the melancholy result of all their learning and toil is this, “Nobody knows it! Nobody knows it!” The ignorant and the learned are here on the same platform.
And now, seeing this is so, not merely by my testimony, but by their own confession, why, O reader, if you are lingering in this cloud-land of speculation, will you not turn your back upon it all, and place your whole confidence in God? Turn to Him in your ignorance and wretchedness, and He will teach you the way of salvation, and bring peace to your troubled soul.
You will find the death of the Lord Jesus, when once grasped fully by faith, sufficient for all your needs, and such wonders wrought by it, that not only are you saved thereby, but such a provision made for you on all hands, in all circumstances, for both time and eternity, that you may be wholly indifferent about your share in the pleasures, honors, and riches of this world, so only that Christ Jesus be manifested in you and by you.
Therefore turn, oh turn from yourself, and turn to God! and if only this little paper be the means by God’s grace of persuading you to it, we will together praise God throughout eternity, that He has not only provided the way, but also made it plain to our souls. God grant it, for Christ’s sake.
Amen. F. P. R.