The wife is pictured in the Scriptures as the object of the husband's love. Her role relative to her husband is exemplified in the role of the Bride of Christ relative to Christ (Eph. 5). The sleep of Adam in order that he might have a helper and not be alone (Gen. 2:18-25) is a type of our Savior going into death so that He would have a bride and not be alone. (See John 12:24.) From this we see that the husband sacrifices himself for his Lord and for his wife and children.
The wife for her part is to respond in reverence and submission to the one who gives himself for her. Where could a more harmonious relationship be found than in this model of family interaction?
The feminists react with horror to the idea that the wife, as an object of the husband's love, is to be obedient to him. This effect is undoubtedly due to the concept the world has of the act of submission. In the world it is a sign of personal weakness, of lack of self esteem, or the admission of inferiority to submit to someone. For the Christian who enjoys blessings beyond measure because of the submission of Christ to God's will at the cross of Calvary (Isa. 53:7), the act of submission has a totally different connotation. Throughout the Scriptures submission is seen as the way of fulfillment, happiness and peace. "Learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls." Matt. 11:29. Christ's subjection in life and submission in death are to be our example, whether male or female, if we wish the enjoyment of God's blessings in our lives.
It is only in the degree that the wife is subject to her husband that she can fill her role as helper which was given to her by God (Gen. 2:18). The Scriptures unequivocally teach the importance of subjection and obedience of the wife to the husband. (See Eph. 5:22; Col. 3:18; Titus 2:5; 1 Peter 3:1.) The failure of the husband to accept his responsibilities of headship does, without question, make it more difficult for the wife to be in subjection. (It was for this reason that in this pamphlet the responsibilities of the husband were considered before those of the wife.) Nevertheless, the wife is not able to excuse her lack of reverence or subjection on these grounds. Peter makes it clear that even if the husband were an unbeliever, the wife was to be in subjection (1 Peter 3:1). Opposition to this principle is so strong that we find even believers, rather than yielding to it, are denying the inspiration of the Holy Scriptures, God's Word for us in this age as in all times. May we be kept from the denial of the Scriptures either by our words or our deeds.
The principle of subjection by the wife to the husband is sometimes applied wrongfully. It is, perhaps, the opposite to the extreme of denying the principle, when the wife takes the attitude that since the husband is head of the house and to be obeyed, that there is little need for her to be exercised before the Lord about matters, but simply to submit to the husband's exercise. Even in the discernment of God's will for the family, the wife is to be the husband's helper. For this role she will need to be diligent in searching the Scriptures and in prayer so that their joint prayers will not be hindered (1 Peter 3:7). In this connection it is noteworthy that Moses's life was spared because of the faith of his parents, not the faith of his father only (Heb. 11:23). Also noteworthy is the fact that in Ex. 2:2,3 the mother is the only one mentioned in the narrative. Every Christian husband needs the support, initiative and faith of a spiritual wife.
The wife can be spiritually stronger than the husband and yet be in complete submission to him. A comparison of the Ex. 2 account of Moses's life with Heb. 11 would lead us to believe that in this family the wife, in particular, was a woman of faith, but she acted with her husband. The result was a great blessing not only to the family but to God's people. Some might say that Moses's mother was a woman of unusual faith. This may be true, but consider Sarah who from scriptural accounts was very much in the shadow of her husband and who had to be rebuked for her lack of faith (Gen. 18:13-15). This same "unbelieving woman" is recorded as a woman of faith. "By faith also Sarah herself received strength for the conception of seed, and that beyond a seasonable age; since she counted Him faithful." Heb. 11:11 JND. It is, from this account, evident that even one who is spiritually weak and perhaps lacking in faith can, through God's sovereign grace, be used in blessing to the husband, family and God's people, by desiring God's will for the family. What an encouragement and help it must have been to Abraham to find that his wife who once laughed in unbelief later "counted Him faithful who promised."
In most cases, when the faith of a woman is referred to in the Scriptures, it is in connection with children. See 2 Tim. 1:5; Heb. 11;1 Sam. 1 and 2. These scriptures reveal that the role of the wife involves the spiritual and physical welfare of the children. What a challenge God's order for the Christian family presents to the wife! Particularly today, when most men work away from the home in an atmosphere of tension and competition, the husband will be absent a great deal and even when present may be mentally and physically exhausted. This puts a great burden of responsibility on the wife and is an important reason why if possible she should be in the home and not at outside employment. Her role as helper to the husband may be compromised if she is too tired and exhausted from duties not directly connected with caring for their children. The family does not need two persons playing the same roles, but what it does need is a father and mother who supplement each other by acting in the roles God has set out in His Word.
The Christian wife has been portrayed as a spiritual helper in the family. This responsibility belongs to every Christian wife. Abraham was told to listen to Sarah's advice (see Gen. 21:12). Undoubtedly, the husband will benefit from heeding the advice of a godly wife. May our wives ask the Lord for wisdom to fulfill this role.