Born in Siberia, of Russian parents, at an early age I was brought to Montreal, Canada. Shortly after arriving in Canada I was placed in a convent, so you see I had quite a religious background. Then at the age of ten I was taken out and brought home with my mother to at last see the world.
Soon I was forgetting God. My mother, living only for this world, did not think much about religion. I started to go to shows, and began to like that, for all these things seen in the shows were never seen done in a convent. Very rapidly I forgot the convent too.
Then one day I was told we were to leave Montreal. So we came to Chicago and oh, I do remember how I longed to go back to Canada again. It was a real heartache for me, but quickly I got accustomed to American ways.
My mother used to go to work and leave me alone and tell me to go to school, but I didn't do that. I thought I was too big for that now, for I was almost sixteen. By now I was considered quite a good dancer, and I began to think that some day I would dance for money.
I began to enter tavern life. Surely, I thought, here I'll have a good time. When I was 21 years old I became a night club hostess: this meant I had to dance and drink with all kinds of men and to let them kiss me if they felt like it. This was most horrible to me, but I saw the others do that and I thought I was no better than they.
So here, little by little, I began to drink every night and men would leave me money as they left the night club.
Yes! I got my desire in a small way to dance before the public, and with all kinds of men. Night after night I drank whiskey, wine, beer, and mixed drinks. I didn't care if I ate so I just drank. And then many times I wished I had something to eat, but the men who frequent those places do not come there for food.
The Word of God says, "Wine is a mocker... and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise," but I didn't know God's Word, so I went from one tavern to another for nine long years.
Many, many times I wanted to kill myself and end that rotten life. One time when I had gone through a very bitter disappointment over a man who had let me down, I turned on the gas, but something seemed to stop me.
So I drank and cursed and swore at men, for I at last saw their lies and deceit and I hated every one whom I drank with. I cared for no one, nor had any fear of anyone, nor regarded God. I prayed now and then with a cold, hard feeling in my heart against everyone. I thought that if there were any real pity, real love and joy, it couldn't be on this earth.
I heard the gospel story. I didn't think it was for me, but this was the love I was hungry for; this was the truth I was seeking to know. Then I heard that blessed song: "No one ever cared for me like Jesus," and I heard the Word of God preached. For the first time I was made to see how far away from God I had wandered. Still Jesus was waiting to save my soul from sin and from the shame I had gotten into.
So I called upon God with all my heart to forgive my sins for Jesus' sake, and He did!
And I pray that those who read this testimony of God's love and mercy to me will also turn to the Lord, for only Jesus can bring joy to the troubled soul. Only the Lord can heal the broken heart. "Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved." Acts 4:1212Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved. (Acts 4:12).
Yes! I have tried all kinds of sins, only to find out that sin is a poor paymaster. But I thank God that, "if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:99If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9).
He will forgive you and Jesus will make you a new creature in Him.