"I NEVER felt so powerless as to-day," said an earnest evangelist, as he entered the garret of an aged saint, with whom some of us were wont to mingle our prayers that God would strengthen us for His service, and that He, who alone can quicken the dead, would grant the salvation of some for whose blessing we yearned. "The word fell like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again," continued he "I can only liken that poor woman to the man with the unclean spirit who had his dwelling amongst the tombs, and no man could bind him, no not with chains. She cries in the bitterness of her spirit—the sharp arrows of conviction pierce her soul—and the devil provokes her to blaspheme the God who made her: Satan seems to command her thoughts. Nothing I could say touched her.”
"Oh! my brother," said the old woman, who sat propped up by pillows in her large arm-chair by the fireside, “no mere man could tame the demoniac, but the Lord of heaven did, the blessed Jesus, our Master, and we will lay this poor soul at His feet. Let us have faith in God, who in a moment can say, ‘Peace, be still,’ to the storm that rages in her bosom.”
She lifted her voice in prayer. Her manner was remarkable, and her language most quaint. She spoke as to One she well knew, asking Him to do the work for which His servant was powerless.
In earlier days this old woman had herself been active in Gospel work, and the Lord had given her many souls; but now she was called aside to learn deep lessons in the school of affliction. She had been a handsome woman, but little trace of it remained. Through inflammation one eye was quite closed, and both had to be shaded from the light of day. Rheumatism nailed her to the chair, to which in the morning she was with difficulty removed from her little bed in the corner of the room. This was all the exertion which she who had once been so active could now make; but not a murmur escaped her lips, and her spirit breathed His praise who chastened that she might be partaker of His holiness. Lovely specimen of a holy priest! Like David, she could say, "My praise shall be continually of Thee.”
One day I said to her, "Would you not like to go about, and speak of Jesus, as you used to do?" "No, my dear," she quickly replied; "if He needed that of me now He would give me the strength for it—holy and blessed be His name. I can pray in my corner here and that’s my service. To love His will is the joy of my soul." Her words rebuked the less restful spirit in me, and I thanked the Lord for lessons learned through this lowly saint, who had drunk so sweetly in His spirit, and in whom shone so brightly the virtues of Christ.
We spent some part of the afternoon, on which my story opens, in prayer; then I got the name and address of the woman, for whom we had prayed together, purposing soon to see her.
A week later I again visited my old friend in the attic-room, and on entering she inquired with eagerness, "Well, what of that poor soul? The Lord has laid her heavily on my heart, I have been night and day in prayer about her, and I believe He will use you in blessing to her.”
My heart smote me. Alas! the case had passed from my mind: other interests had engaged me, and I had not been to see her. I told the truth to our aged sister, who was much disappointed at my little zeal for souls, but added, "Now we will again together plead for that troubled one, with Him who is full of love and compassion, and you will go direct to her house, as from the sanctuary of His presence, which, bless His name, we have often known in this little room." We prayed, and both felt we had the thing we had asked of the Lord (Mark 11:2424Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them. (Mark 11:24)). In expectation of blessing I proceeded to the house of Mrs. R. and found her at home.
I explained my errand, telling her I knew the blessedness of having God as my Father, that I had no fear I should ever meet Him as a judge, and that I desired she should have this comfort also.
"Oh!" she said, "you need not speak to me like that; I am lost—I wish I had never been born, I have such awful thoughts of God. I would not dare to tell them to you, and sometimes I almost believe there is no God! But," she added with a sigh, "I would be happier if I could always believe that. Something warns me there is a God, and that He is sending me to hell.”
"Poor soul!" I replied, "conscience, that witness which God has set in every bosom, speaks true when it warns you that there is a God, and keeps you from quietly yielding to the deluding suggestions of the Father of lies. You know there is a God, and that He is holy: your conscience convicts you that your are unholy, and unfit for His presence; and the question you must have answered before you can find rest is, ‘How can I be just with God?’ It is my joy to-day to be able to tell you, God has solved this great difficulty: He has found a ransom, and the way is open for you to be in the presence of the holy God in perfect peace.”
God, whom Satan makes you think so badly of, loves you, even now, when you are without any strength to love Him. Though you be ungodly, His enemy—as all those thoughts now raging in your bosom prove you to be—though you be but a poor sinner—in the past He so loved you as to give His only Son, who eternally dwelt in His bosom, to die a shameful death, that you might never go to hell. This is the God you tell me is sending you to hell. Now the devil succeeds in making you wrong Him! Jesus went into the dust of death that God might have sinners, such as you, brought into the sweet relationship of children, on whom He could lavish the riches of His grace. God does not send you to hell, and if you go there it must be past the open door of Heaven, laden with the guilt of having spurned God's love, and refused the salvation He now so freely offers you. To-day He would make you His child, and a co-heir with Christ of all the glory of Heaven. Do you prefer to be the captive of Satan?”
"Oh! no," she eagerly replied "but how can I know all you tell me is true?”
"I have the authority of God's Word for all I say, and that Word will, I believe, carry home conviction with it; for I trust God will use it as the sword of the Spirit to put to flight all the fiery darts Satan is aiming at your soul. Hell was not made for man, but for the devil and his angels, and it is he who is now seeking to drag you to his dark domain. Yet it is true, if you will not listen to God’s gracious message of salvation, there is no place for you but hell. It would be misery for you to be in Heaven if you did not know Christ, for He will be the great, the engrossing, object of joy there. I have come to-day to seek to win your heart for that Blessed One, by telling you of His great love. It is said of human affection that ‘love begets love,’ and this may sometimes prove true, but to-day I am confident the tale of Divine love will win your heart for Christ. You have been much prayed for by one who is no stranger to the prayer-hearing, and prayer-answering God. Children of God also have met together to ask for your salvation, counting on the promise, ‘If two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of My Father which is in Heaven;’ and I came straight to your house from the room of an aged saint, who prayed with me on your behalf, and who sent me to you in faith that you are to-day to break company with Satan, and through grace delivered from his cruel bondage. ‘If the Son shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.’”
"Oh!" said she "I would be thankful if I could get rid of those awful thoughts, but I cannot," and she burst into a fit of wild grief.
"Dear distracted one," I rejoined, "you are sorely driven of Satan, the great enemy of Christ and of your soul, but his victor, the Lord Jesus Christ, now in the glory of God, has His eye upon you,—and well does Satan know it, else this tempest would not now be raging in your bosom. He keeps his goods in peace, till the stronger than he comes to snatch his victims from his deadly grasp. I am come to you with a message of love from the Living God, who can say to Satan, ‘Hitherto shalt thou come and no farther.’ His message to you is, ‘Thou halt destroyed thyself, but in Me is thine help.’ ‘Though your sins be as scarlet they shall be white as snow; though they be red like crimson they shall be as wool.’ ‘God commendeth His love towards us,' such is the gracious attitude He has taken towards the sinner, ‘in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us.' These are the words God gave me for you. Oh! think of it, He is the giving God. He gave His Son, and He will give you salvation if you will receive it. Dear Mrs. R, the day hastens when we must all appear before the judgment-seat of Christ, and knowing the terror of that moment for the unsaved, I would persuade you to take the position which these lines express—
I hear the words of love,
I gaze upon the blood,
I see the mighty sacrifice,
And I have peace with God.'”
"Could God have mercy on one so bad as I am?" she slowly inquired. "My whole thoughts are wicked, and my actions have been little better. I am utterly vile; I could not be worse; I loathe myself. What a profitless life mine has been!" Some time she continued in this strain of self-condemnation. I did not interrupt her, knowing what a relief it would be for the anguish of her soul to find vent; and my heart rejoiced as I marked the deep repentance which, unknown to herself, God was working in her. Naturally we think well of ourselves, and are self-excusers, but when the Holy Ghost convinces us of sin we become self-accusers.
When she was silent, I said, "I am so glad this is the estimate you have formed of yourself." She looked aghast. "Very glad indeed,” I added, "and I am going to read some verses from the Word of God, which show it is only such as you God can save." She sunk into a chair by my side as I opened the Scriptures and read from Rom. 3, beginning at the 10th verse and ending at the 19th. I commented on each verse as we went through them, and inquired if she would not plead guilty to what it said. When I had finished I said, "Now, Mrs. R., that was a good picture of me before God in His mercy saved my soul, and do you not think it will do for you?”
"Oh! Yes," was her reply, “that’s just what I am—guilty before God.”
"Then your month is shut, and you have nothing to say for yourself?”
"Nothing! oh, nothing!" she emphatically answered.
"Well, I do rejoice, for now you and God are at one about your state of soul, and this is the first step towards salvation. In order to be saved there are two things the sinner must believe, and only two. I must believe what God says about myself, and what He tells me of Christ the Savior. You have added your Amen to the first, for you have bowed to God's verdict on you as a lost sinner. You believe you stand condemned before Him, and now it only remains for me to unfold the record which God has given us of His Son, and on this your faith will find a resting-place. When God, by His Spirit, begins to deal with a soul, His first great object is to get the individual, in his own estimation, right down amongst the company of sinners; for Christ came ‘not to call the righteous, but sinners,’ those who own there is nothing in or about them that God can commend. Before Him ‘there is none righteous, no, not one.’ ‘There is not a just man on the earth, that doeth good and sinneth not;’ but everlasting praise be unto Him who died, ‘the just for the unjust, that He might bring us to God.’”
With joy I watched the Spirit's work in Mrs. R. She had fully owned her unworthiness, and unto such "the righteousness of God" is addressed. It is “unto all, and upon all them that believe.” How free! Unto all! God is rich in grace, and He calls the sinner to receive His bounty—a full and free salvation! None need perish if they will only receive the glad tidings, and accept the salvation God brings. I called Mrs. R.'s attention to the Scripture in Titus 2:1111For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, (Titus 2:11), "The grace of God that bringeth salvation," asking her to mark the expression bringeth, and told her she did not need to ask or pray for it. Jesus died on the cross and bore the full judgment of sin, so that God can now offer salvation, adding, "He offers it to you to-day, if you will simply believe what He says.”
We turned to 1 Peter 2:21-2421For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps: 22Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth: 23Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously: 24Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed. (1 Peter 2:21‑24), and read of the Savior as there detailed, and then I said, "In your stead Christ was on Calvary’s tree; there He underwent the judgment of sin—the thing so hateful to God that when His beloved Son was made sin, though it was not His own, God had to hide His face, even from Him, for He is of purer eyes than to behold iniquity, and then Jesus cried, in the bitterness of His soul, ‘My God, my God, why hast Thou forsaken Me?’ Dear Mrs. R., I can answer His question; God forsook that Blessed One then, that I, that you, if you will simply trust His Word, might forever bask in the sunshine of the Father’s love.
Oh, ye, who sit in darkness
Ever mourning for your sin,
Open the window of your soul
Let the warm sunshine in;
Every ray was purchased for you
By the matchless love of One
Who suffered in the shadow
That you might see the sun! '
“You see the sinner has nothing to do, and he must not try to do anything. ‘It is to him that worketh not, but believeth’ (Rom. 4:44Now to him that worketh is the reward not reckoned of grace, but of debt. (Romans 4:4)). Every-thing was done by Christ on the cross. He cried, ‘It is finished,’ and you have simply to, rest, on that fact. How wondrous His grace! He beseeches you to be reconciled,—you who have been so alienated from Him, filled with such thoughts that you said you would not dare to tell them to me. He has seen them all, for He knows the thoughts and intents of the heart, and yet He pleads with you to forget them, and be reconciled to Him!”
Whilst I spoke, she listened with increasing interest as each new phase of the heart and ways of our Savior God passed before her. At last she said, "Do you mean to tell me, it will be all my own fault if I am not saved now?”
"Yes, indeed," I replied; "it will be your fault; nay more, your guilt. You cannot blame God; for in love He lingers over you; but if you refuse the grace He offers you must land in hell, and the direst woe of that scene will be the thought, I have none to blame but myself. Then you will brood on the fact, as one once said, that God so loved the world as to give His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. These words will be no glad tidings then, but the knell of your eternal condemnation. Conscience will not forget this great truth, and it will ever taunt you with it when your doom is sealed, and you are where the worm of remorse never dies, and the fire of God's righteous judgment never goes out. Ah, Mrs. R., let God have His way to-day, for it is bound up with your blessing, and I know you wish to be happy. Tell me have you been so whilst you let the devil rule your heart?'
"No, indeed," she answered; "and I do desire to be happy.”
"And God desires it," I added; "and you must turn your back on His loving entreaties if you go to bed to-night without peace—eternal peace, filling your soul." I spoke a little more of Him, who is altogether lovely, fairer than the sons of men, "Heaven's beloved One," and, ere she knew it, Mrs. R. was sitting at "the feet of Jesus," "with open face beholding the glory of the Lord." The burden of her sins had gone. Her eye brightened, and a calm, restful expression took the place of anxious fears. I uttered His words, "Daughter, be of good comfort, thy faith hath made thee whole: go in peace." She smiled! It was the glad response of a heart that rested in the deep love of the bosom of Jesus. She knew now that heart was hers. What a treasure! And she too was His treasure; "redeemed not with corruptible things, as silver and gold, but with the precious blood of Christ." Satan had lost his prize, and she, whom he had so governed, sat clothed and in her right mind at Jesus’ feet.
It was a moment of great joy in a quiet out-of-the-way cottage, down an obscure lane, in the city of A—, joy in unison with that which pealed through the courts of Heaven, in the presence of the Angels of God over a sinner who had repented—one, whom the Shepherd had brought home to God, on His shoulder, rejoicing. God truly had share in that, which, for some hours that afternoon, had engrossed two souls on earth.
We bowed the knee together—the new-born child lisped her first note of praise to her Redeemer God—her Father. "What hath God wrought," was the thought of both our hearts. We were as the dust before Him, but He claimed us as His portion, and we rejoiced together in His love. We felt, that He who had given Himself for us, a sacrifice even unto death, deserved that we should present our bodies, a living sacrifice to Him, as the Holy Ghost in Rom. 12:11I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. (Romans 12:1) beseeches. We asked Him to keep us for Himself.
The shades of evening were closing in, warning me I should be looked for in my own home, and that I must leave her, to whom my soul was knit in the love of God; but I desired to drop a word as to the confession of Christ, which God looks for from the One He has saved.
"You do not need to tell me that," was her reply; "I am only too thankful to have such good news to give him. I must speak of it, I am so happy." Sweet testimony to the place Christ had gotten for Himself in the affections of her heart "Out of the abundance of the heart the, mouth speaketh.”
“The fowler's snare is broken
And loosed my captive wing,
And shall the bird be silent
Which Thou has taught to sing?”
I bade her adieu, but she lingered on the doorstep, as I passed through the cottage garden.
Her expression told me there was something yet she desired to ask of me. I returned, and laying my hand on her shoulder, said, "You are very happy, dear Mrs. R., are you not?”
"Oh, very," was her reply; "but what should I do, if I ever had another bad thought of Him; it would be so much more awful now that I know He so loves me?" How blessed to see, that as her soul deepened in the sense of God's love to her, so did the exceeding hatefulness of sin! Manifestly repentance is a progressive work in the soul that is brought to God, and the thoughts of the heart grow in union with His mind!
I told her she now belonged to Christ, and that "He is able to save to the uttermost all that come to God by Him." He had given her eternal life, and would preserve her from every snare in the way, till she was safely landed in the glory of God. "Look steadfastly on Jesus, as you see Stephen doing in Acts 7," I said, "and thus run the race, which, through grace, you have to-day begun. Tell Him all that is in your heart: things you could tell to no one else you will learn His ear is bent to hear. Every care He will delight to relieve you of, every duty He will strengthen you for, and the love of His heart will prove your unfailing stay. Keep so near to Him that He may hear your feeblest whisper, and like John, whose resting place was on the Savior's bosom, you will catch the words that fall from His lips, which those at a distance may not. Satan will try to disturb your peace, but do not listen to him. Tell every evil thought to Jesus, and He will give you grace not to harbor sin. ‘Reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin,’ is the attitude of soul God would have the believer ever to maintain. There never would be the sins of word or deed if wrong thoughts were not cherished; they are the darts of the Evil one, and the shield of faith can alone defend you from them. May you, dear Mrs. R., have it ever ready, and God will prove to you the the truth of that word, ‘Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.’ Satan is a conquered foe to the feeblest saint, who has faith in the blessed victor, our Lord Jesus Christ.”
It was due to my old friend in the attic that she should share in the joy of Mrs. R.’s conversion. When I lifted the latch of her door the voice of prayer again fell upon my ear. It was the evangelist who had told us of Mrs. R.'s misery of soul. My entrance did not disturb him, I also knelt in prayer, rejoiced to unite with those whose hearts were glad with the joy of His presence, "and who drank of the river of His pleasures." When he paused, I said, "Now give thanks to the Lord, Mrs. R. is one of the ransomed band; God in grace has fully met the need of her soul, and she rests simply in the fact that He loves her, and gave His Son to die for her." Joy filled each heart, and our combined praise gave Him the glory, who had again proved Himself the prayer-hearing and prayer-answering God.
How sweet such fellowship in soul-gathering. Would that the children of God knew more of it. What fragrant incense to Him who is the Lord of the harvest, who cheers each laborer going forth to serve, with the word, "He that reapeth receiveth wages, and gathereth fruit unto eternal life, that both he that soweth and he that reapeth may rejoice together." In this instance how fully we proved that One, the Great Sower, had to make the good seed of the word take root, whilst in richest grace He permitted us, whom He deigns to call His fellows, to enter into His labors; and now as joyful reapers we sent up our song of praise, in unison with that which was sounding in the presence of the heavenly host.
Often, after this, it was my joy and privilege to visit Mrs. R. Satan did his best to shake her confidence in God, but she proved the power of faith, and learned its patience. She fed on the Word of God, as a new-born babe, desiring its sincere milk. She waited upon the Lord in prayer, and thus renewed her strength, remembering the words, "In quietness and confidence shall be your strength" (Isa. 30:1515For thus saith the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel; In returning and rest shall ye be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength: and ye would not. (Isaiah 30:15)). "Like a tree planted by the waters" her soul prospered, and like Andrew of old, having found Christ, she sought to bring others to Him (John 1:4141He first findeth his own brother Simon, and saith unto him, We have found the Messias, which is, being interpreted, the Christ. (John 1:41)). One day she joyfully told me her husband was anxious about his soul, and begged I would go to see him the following Lord's day afternoon. He had listened to the tale of his wife’s conversion, but that would have had little effect had he not marked a wonderful change in her life. The daily walk is louder testimony than that which falls from the lip. The confession of the mouth should not be absent, but it is worthless unless thrown into relief by the telling background of a spirit subject to the Lord in the little details of every-day life. To accept the sentence of death on the flesh and its workings, and to manifest the spirit of Christ is that to which we are called.
Does this meet the eye of some child of God, unequally yoked with an unbelieving husband? Has he wearied of hearing you speak of Christ? and is your spirit tried, because of enforced silence on the subject of all others most dear to you? Let the words of the Apostle Peter encourage you, "Wives be in subjection to your own husbands; that if any obey not the word, they may without the word be won by the conversation (the walk) of the wives.”
Thomas R. was not one of this class. He loved his wife and listened to her earnest entreaties that he would accept salvation. Through her words he saw he was lost, he sought the Savior, and, through grace, when I met with him on the appointed Lord’s day afternoon, he learned that the Savior sought him, for the Son of Man is come to seek and to save that which was lost. The seeking sinner and the loving Savior met, and Thomas R. rejoiced that all his sins were put away through the finished work of Christ.
Husband and wife were henceforth one in Christ, and daily they gathered their little ones around them, when the Word of God was read, and prayer ascended to Him who alone is able to keep us from falling, and who will one day present us faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy.
Thomas R. and his wife are now well known to many of God's children, and my heart has often thrilled with joy when told of the simplicity of their trust in Christ, and manifest desire to know and do the will of God.
Has this tale of God's gracious dealing with a soul whom Satan so sorely tried met the eye of one who is vexed by infidel thoughts? May it arouse you to see all such thoughts are suggested by the Father of Lies, who seeks to keep God from having you as His child, and you from knowing the joys which belong to that rest of love which God now offers you as your soul's abiding portion. Let me entreat you no longer to give quarter to those arrows from Satan's quiver, but let God’s loving gracious words find an entrance into your heart. Believe in His love, who shrank not from death that life eternal might now be yours, with all those blessings so real to the one who walks by faith with God, and who waits to share with Christ the never-ending glories of God’s eternal day. R.