ABOUT eighteen months since, being requested to visit a young man in a consumption, I called, and found that he was a professed infidel. He wanted to know if I was a doctor; and when he found out what I came for, he told me he did not wish me to call upon him, for he did not believe the Bible. I spoke to him about his soul and eternity; but he said it was “all stuff,” and besides he was not going to die just yet. I warned him of his danger, and begged of him to read God’s Word; but he did not seem very well pleased with my visit. I left him, and called again in a few days. He then scoffed at the Word of God. I asked him if he knew that God, in his holy Word, declared that some should be wicked enough to do as he was doing. I turned to the third chapter of the second Epistle of Peter, and read the whole chapter to him. When I had ended it, he laughed at it. But I told him that guilty as he was, if he would seek forgiveness through the blood of Christ, God would pardon him; but if he died in his present state, and would not listen to the voice of God calling him to repentance, he must perish forever. I asked him if I should offer up prayer. He did not make any answer. I then knelt down, and prayed God to soften his hard heart, and to lead him to repentance.
But in a few days I called again, when he told me that he had been thinking about what had been said, and about the wicked being turned into hell. He said he believed there was a God, but he could not believe there was a place called hell, or a place of punishment. I read several passages of Scripture to him bearing upon it; and when I had done, he appeared quite horrorstricken, and said that he did not know that there were any such passages in the Bible. I conversed with him for a long time, and offered up prayer to the Lord to apply what had been said to his heart, and that the light of the gospel of Christ might shine into his dark mind.
I called again in the following week, and found him still more ready to listen to me. I exhorted him to come to Christ as a guilty sinner. He then fell back upon his good life, and that he had not done any harm to any one. I told him that Christ came to save sinners, and that unless we felt our need we should not come to Him, and of course could not be saved. I read to him from the Bible, that “all had sinned, and come short of the glory of God,” then offered up prayer, and again left. About three days after, his sister called upon me, to tell me that he had expressed a wish to see me. I went to see him in the evening, and he said, “I am very uneasy about my soul; I should like to be right.” I read Isaiah 55 to him, and exhorted him to turn to the Lord with his whole heart. He listened very attentively, and knelt down whilst I offered up prayer.
From that time he was always very anxious to see me, and light gradually began to break in upon him. He was led to mourn over sin, and as a guilty sinner to seek Jesus. For several weeks he thought there could not be any mercy for him; for instead of saying, as he did at first, that he had done no harm to any one, he believed he had done much to many. But at last he found peace. I believe that he rested entirely upon Christ for salvation. Although at times he was very much harassed with doubts, yet he had a firm reliance upon the promises of God. He appeared quite resigned to the will of God. His only wish to live (as he told a friend who went with me to see him) was that he might return to C―, to tell his fellow-servants that the religion of Christ, which he used to despise, was the only one that could afford comfort and peace to guilty sinners. He was often in much grief when thinking of the evil he had done to others by endeavoring to persuade them to become unbelievers. He was a little better for a few weeks, but he would often say to me, “I shall not get better; my stay here is not for long. I shall soon be with him who ‘loved me, and gave himself for me.’ Oh, how unworthy I am! but blessed be his holy name, he died for the unworthy. What a mercy is it that he afflicted me! Had he taken me away when I was in health, I should have lost my immortal soul. What love that he should save such a sinner — that such a wicked unbeliever should have an interest in his precious blood! I shall never be able to love him enough.” And another time, when I was reading to him the fifth chapter of St. Paul’s Second Epistle to the Corinthians, he raised himself up in the bed, and said, “Yes, this tabernacle shall be dissolved, but I have a building of God, not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.”
About a fortnight before he died, his brothers and sisters, and several others of his relations, having by his wish assembled in his room on a Sunday, he was by the help of God enabled to speak to them for above an hour upon the love of God to him. He said, “You all know what a great sinner I have been; but God has loved me, and Christ has died for me, and by his blessed Spirit I am enabled to rest entirely upon him for salvation.” He then spoke to them upon the care of the soul, and exhorted them to seek the Lord Jesus Christ with their whole hearts, and said, “Then you will be happy in this life, for there is no true happiness apart from him, and you will love one another, and I shall meet you all around the throne of God in heaven, never to part again.”
The next day I found him rather cast down. He said, “I have been very much tempted to believe that I am deceiving myself, my sins have been brought before me in such numbers, and so dreadful; but I do believe that my Saviour will not leave me.” I quoted to him James 1:12,12Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him. (James 1:12) Isaiah 54:7,8,7For a small moment have I forsaken thee; but with great mercies will I gather thee. 8In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer. (Isaiah 54:7‑8) and several passages from the Psalms, after which he seemed much more composed, and these fears were shortly afterward quite removed.
Shortly before he died, he looked at me, and said, “I know in whom I trust. I am upon the rock. Christ is my hope, and I would not part with it for all the world: no, not if I could be restored to perfect health again this day.” Such were the last words of one who had lived an infidel and a scoffer at God’s holy word. How wondrous is the grace that stooped to snatch such a one from well-deserved condemnation. How infinite is his compassion for the vilest of sinners!
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