Address—G.H. Hayhoe
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I'd like to turn first of all to Jeremiah chapter 10 and verse 23.
Oh Lord, I know that the way of man is not in himself. It is not in man that walketh to direct his steps.
And then could we also turn to the 27th Psalm, Psalm 27?
And verse 4.
One thing have I desired of the Lord.
Will I seek after, that I may dwell in the House of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in his temple?
Remember to turn also to Proverbs chapter 1.
And the seventh verse.
Fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.
By fools despise wisdom and instruction.
And in the 4th chapter of Proverbs on the 23rd verse.
Keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life.
And then again in the.
3rd chapter.
And the fifth verse.
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart.
And lean not unto thine own understanding in all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy path.
And just one more passage in the 9th chapter of Proverbs. Proverbs Chapter 9 and the first verse.
Wisdom hath builded her house, she hath you now for seven pillars. She hath killed her beasts, she hath mingled her wine.
She hath also furnished her table, she hath sent forth her maiden, she crieth upon the highest places of the city. Whoso is simple, let him turn in, hit her, ask for him that wanteth understanding. She saith to him, Come, eat of my bread, and drink of the wine which I have mingled, Forsake the foolish, and live and go in the way of understanding.
Well, I'd like to speak a little this afternoon, dear young people, about the importance of the wisdom of God for our pathway. And I was thinking of how each one of us.
We have one life, how short life really is. And most of us, I trust all of us are looking for the imminent return of the Lord Jesus that soon he is going to come. And so that we really only have a very short time left to us that we can truly live for the Lord Jesus. It's only a very short time, I believe because.
As we look about on the horizon of this world, we see things taking place prophetically. We see also the breakdown of morals. We see the breakdown of everything that God has committed to man and responsibility. And we can't help but feel that the Lord's coming is near. But perhaps he might leave us here a little longer. And it is most important that we should seek to order our lives in a way that is pleasing to Him, that is for His.
Honor and glory.
And I was speaking, I thinking particularly of how important the whole.
Life is I believe we can see how the enemy is seeking to attack the people of God in his attempt to try and smash the pieces. The home life we find that even a blessing in the assembly is very often the result of a home that is ordered according to the mine and will of God.
Where we have brought before us that high truth that we are blessed with all spiritual blessings in the heavenlies in Christ Jesus, that it's in that very epistle that we have brought before us those practical things in connection with husband and wife and children and parents, masters and servants. Yes, in the very epistle where we have the highest truth, it ought to display itself.
In our lives down here.
And in the way that we act in the relationships of life. And so we find also in the Epistle to the Corinthians of those important instructions in connection with marriage. We might say, but Corinthians has to deal particularly with the assembly and assembly order. Yes, it does, but how often? And one has to say it with sadness. We can see whole assemblies in trial and sorrow because the home life has not been ordered.
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According to the mind and will of God, and it brings its reflection right into God's assembly.
And so we find in Timothy where we have the governmental ways of God. There again we find.
The same thing why He's exhorting how husbands and wives should act. So we find all through the Scripture the importance of this and seeing this meeting is particularly for young people. And perhaps if the Lord leaves us here, there may be those who are going to enter into marriage or have recently entered into it. Why surely?
It is something that we should carefully consider before the Lord. We should consider it because.
Of what we are. We are here as representatives of Christ here upon earth.
I was reading something very interesting in connection with Prince Charles. I think all of us know that recently there was a royal wedding over in England and Prince Charles comment.
Was I'm not an ordinary person, He said I expect someday to be the king of England. And he said I have to consider this in connection with the partner that I choose, because I'm going to choose one who will probably be the queen. And he said I must consider very.
Carefully, the one who is going to share this position with me and do you realize your young people that we are kings and that we are going to reign with Christ and.
Reference to us if Prince Charles, a man who is only thinking of an earthly position, should make such a comment and should think so seriously about the steps that he was taking. How much more so when we think that we are destined not to just be a king over a country like England, but to be kings and priests, to reign with Christ when he takes his place as King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
And that now we are here on earth as representatives of heaven.
Paul said, Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us. We pray you in Christ's dead be reconciled to God. He considered that he was here.
As a representative for Christ, And we in some measure are here as representatives of him too. It was read to us this morning. He that saith He abideth in him ought himself also so to walk, even as he walked. Moreover, Prince Charles also had a.
Said divorce must never be in my thoughts. That would be totally out of my thoughts as one who was going to be the King of England. And how much more so when we think that as believers we are part of the espoused bride of Christ. How much more serious that we should seek to enter into the relationship with a proper prospectus and understanding of what God requires of us and what we should be and what we as individuals.
And what our homes represent here upon earth.
Well, that's why I ran these different passages. Do any of us in ourselves have the wisdom to handle these situations that we must meet in life? The prophet Jeremiah said. Oh Lord, I know that.
The way of man is not in himself. It is not in man that walketh to direct his steps. Some of us are a little older and we have entered into marriage and been married for many years and we know that it wasn't our own wisdom, it wasn't anything of ourselves that we were able to find the path and the partner that the Lord had for us. It was by earnest prayer, for a prudent wife is from the Lord.
And so the way of man is not in himself. It's not something that you and I can enter into and decide in our own wisdom or in our own strength, we need the wisdom of God. And we have that in this precious book. I think I can say as I grow older, I value this precious book more and more. What God has given to us just exactly and altogether what we need for our whole pathways.
It says His divine power has given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness. There is instruction for our whole pathway. I'm speaking a little bit this afternoon about this marriage relationship. But there are so many other important decisions that we have to make, and in some sense they're somewhat relative to. And that is we need wisdom as to the line of employment that we would follow in life.
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We need wisdom from God as to where He would have us to live to locate ourselves. We need wisdom from Him too, as to the company of Christians with whom we could be associated. Why there are many, many different companies of Christians? Do we just have to look around and pick out the ones we like the best? The ones where we think we could be most accepted and compatible with them? Oh no, we find the answer.
In God's Word, we don't seek out a job that is just altogether what we ourselves would choose without reference to the Lord, because you might find yourself in a position of something that you might like to do, but in which you could not glorify God.
You might choose a certain place and climate and find out that that wasn't where the Lord wanted you to be at all. He might want you to be in some other place altogether because He doesn't place all His lights in exactly the same spot. He hasn't told us as Christians to locate ourselves in the most ideal climate and surroundings He has.
Told us in all thy ways acknowledge him, and he will direct.
Thy paths. So it's a very blessed thing that we have direction in the Word of God for all that we need for our pathway.
Well, the first verse that we looked at in Proverbs was this. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. And I believe that this is a very important thing for us. This is not the thought of the fear of dread. It's a fear that has begotten in our hearts because of two things, because we know that God our Father is so wise and because we know His love toward us.
You might have a fear of dread of someone who could do you harm, but as a believer, you know that judgment has been taken care of, It's passed for you, and there is no judgment to those who are in Christ Jesus.
But nevertheless, there is such a thing as the fear of displeasing one who has done so much for us.
Use that expression commonly ourselves when there's someone that we love very much and someone asks.
To do something that we know would displease that person. And our answer might be, oh, I'm afraid that would hurt so and so. And he's very dear to me. I wouldn't want to do that. It would hurt him if I were to do that. We use the word afraid. It isn't exactly a fear of dread, but it's a fear that is begotten of love. Then, too, there is a fear of going against the advice of someone.
Who knows much better than yourself if someone.
Always had perfect wisdom. I would be afraid to go against their advice, wouldn't you? And you know, the one whom we call our friend knows everything. His wisdom ever waketh. His sight is never dimmed. He knows the way you take us. And I would walk with him. Aren't you afraid to choose a different path from that that has been marked up by your dearest friend? The one who knows infinitely more than I do? Or.
You do Who looked down from heaven and looks on the whole panorama of life, sees exactly what's happening on every hand, knows our frame, knows all about us. Isn't it good to have someone like that? Dear young people, aren't you a little afraid to go against His advice? Aren't you a little afraid to go against His word? The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. God looks.
To those who tremble at his word. So it's important that we should have the fear of the Lord before us.
That's the very beginning of wisdom. There's anyone who's not saved here. Why? I say to you, it's a very solemn thing not to have the fear of God before you, because in your case you need to fear Him as one who has the power to act in judgment and will have to be your judge if you refuse His offers of grace.
So then we have the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and we have that beautiful verse in the 4th chapter.
And just like to look at it again, the 23rd verse.
Keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life. For, as the new translation reads, keep your heart above everything that is guarded.
We dart carefully our health, we guard our possessions, we guard so many material things in this world. But isn't it strange that we just seem to let our affections run fast and loose, as though we could just go and like this?
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Like that and let that like that we have or that love that we have.
All our lives many a young person has allowed his heart to go out to someone or something and that has molded his whole life for her whole life and has changed their course from following the Lord. Well might the apostle John say love not the world neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
Oh, I beseech you, dear young people, watch your affection.
Watch your affections. When you see your affections going out to someone or something, check whether it's according to the mind and will of God.
It's so easy. King David was a very wonderful king, but one day he got a little bit LAX and he let his his affections go out to someone that was forbidden of God to be his wife. And we know the sad disaster that took place. We know where it landed him. And it was just because he didn't keep his heart above everything that was guarded out of it. Are the issues of life you and I.
Just exactly where our affections are. As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. Our life is exactly where our affections are. The boy likes football. Well, that's where he's going to be if he likes. If someone likes dress, why? That's what you're going to go after. You like entertainment, that's what you're going to go after. And so we need to watch where we allow our affections to go.
Oh, how good if our affections would go out in return.
To the one who loved us and gave himself for us, He couldn't give more. He gave himself, and he wouldn't give less and more than this, He's never going to cease to love us. Having loved his own, which were in the world, He loved them unto the end. So keep your heart, dear young people, watch where you let your affections go. Whether it's things or people all be careful. Check by the word of God.
He is the one who's interested in your blessing, in your.
Happiness. The Lord Jesus not only died to save us from hell, but He died in order to put us for glory.
And then it tells us too, in that passage we looked at in the 27th Psalm, that David had one thing, he said one thing. Have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after, that I may dwell in the House of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in His temple. We all know the end of the 23rd Psalm, where the Psalm says goodness.
Mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever. And we can think of that in connection with the glorious future ahead of us in the Father's house. But David had a deeper desire, and his desire was that he might dwell in the House of the Lord all the days of his life. O dear young people, are we praying this that we would be kept in communion with the Lord?
In the path of his choosing.
Is that the one thing that's most important and above everything to us?
Oh, as I have watched young people all my life, I think I can say love them from my heart.
Why? Surely I've seen many, many start out so well, and then other things and other interests came in and we can't help. As the prophet Jeremiah said, He said, my soul shall weep in secret places for your pride, because the Lord's flock is carried away captive. What a sad thing to see those who allow their affections in their hearts to go out in the wrong direction.
There is that one purpose in their life, one thing of I desire.
Of the Lord and not only desire at their young people seek after it day by day. Pray that prayer of the 16th Psalm preserve me, O God, for indeed do I put my trust. There isn't one person in this room of any kind of maturity years that wouldn't just look up and say I only thank the Lord that he's kept me thus far. It's only his keeping grace that can keep any of us. But do we have this desire Oh dear young people.
It's so important. Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth.
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And then it says that all the days of my life to behold the beauty of the Lord. That is, what is it that will keep us? A sense of duty? Oh no, A precious Savior, one who's altogether lovely.
One who loves us and will never cease to love US1. Who's everything that we can wish and more. What a Savior we have. What a blessed one to fill and satisfy our hearts. And this is what the Psalmist said. I always want to see the superlative of beauty in my precious Savior. I want to see Him as the One who is the best friend. Altogether lovely. None with Him can compare.
Well, have you and I got this desire, one thing, to dwell in the House of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and then why does it come in at the last and to inquire in His temple? Well, you know, many young people inquire and ask the Lord what they should do when they get into a problem. I guess we all do that. Why wait till we get into a problem? Why wait till we've got into a difficulty?
We don't we we try.
We travel not to wait till we get on the wrong road to look at the map. We try to get it out before and know where we're going so that we don't get on the wrong road. And here, young people, do you want to make the right decisions? All I can say then is keep close to the Lord. Keep close to the Lord. Follow the light and wisdom of His Word and you won't go wrong. And He wants to guide you. He wants to direct you.
He's far more interested in your blessing and happiness than anyone else in the whole world. He.
You so much that he is not going to be satisfied with anything less than your company for all eternity. And the wonder of all wonders to my heart is that when I get there, he's going to be satisfied. How can he be satisfied with me? Well, that's a marvel, isn't it? But he is. That's just how much he loves us. It's an unchanging love. And so I say to you, dear young people, may this prayer or this desire in the 27th Psalm be the express desires.
Of our hearts in our pathway here I'm going to say the verse again. One thing have I desired of the Lord, that when I seek after that takes diligence, takes purpose of heart, that I may dwell in the House of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple. Well, I believe if there is that.
Then the Lord graciously comes in, and how patient.
He is with us. He wants to bless us, I say.
Another brings us to what we've read here in this 9th chapter of Proverbs.
It says Wisdom hath builded her house, he hath hewn out her seven pillars.
Maybe some young people have heard me make this comment before, but perhaps.
There is repeating that the book of Proverbs has particularly to do with a father and a mother instructing their children in the 1St 7 chapters. Each chapter begins, I think, but one with my son. Or hear the instruction of a father and forsake not the love thy mother. Because this is the God ordained channel for our instruction. And I know that there are many young people here who have.
Our Christian fathers and mothers thank God for a Christian father and mother. You don't know what a blessing it is. You may not realize when you're young. You may feel that they are always after you and instructing you, but you don't know how much they seek your good and your blessing. They want you to be happy. They desired about everything else for you. And so God has given this responsibility to parents. And may I just pause to say a word to those.
To our parents, this is a day when it's hard to earn a living. It's difficult and it seems the economy is set up so the two parents are expected to work, to even have enough money to support a home. And it makes it very, very difficult. And so I'm saying this because this is a devil's attempt that Karen's wouldn't have enough time with their children because whoever has their children and young people, they are the ones that have them.
And I beg of you as parents to remember.
Remember that God has given you a tremendous responsibility in those young lives, committed to your care. And may he give us grace as parents to be faithful now. One parent said to me, we were busy trying to get a home, trying to get along and get settled in life, and we neglected our family. Now they're grown up and they're away. Oh, I say to you, it's, it's true. It is difficult in the present economy, but put First things first.
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Remember these first seven chapters of Proverbs. Remember how much our children need the instructions and the warnings that are given to us so plainly in those chapters.
Then in the 8th chapter the picture changes a little bit and we see a little picture brought before us of the children leaving home. And all the time comes when the children leave home. You'll notice the way the 8th chapter begins. It doesn't say like the other chapters my son keep my words and so on. But notice the 8th chapter does not. Wisdom, cry, and understanding put forth her voice.
She standeth in the top of the high places.
Because by the way, in the places of the paths she crieth at the gates, at the entry of the city, at the coming in, at the doors. Perhaps in your own mind you can just picture this. And I know there's a lot of young people here that perhaps for their jobs they've left home, they've.
Gone somewhere to school and they perhaps have had to go someplace for the sake of unemployment.
And you don't hear Father's voice, you don't hear Mother's voice anymore. But Wisdom still cries. Wisdom still cries. And Wisdom is the Lord Jesus himself personified. He is Wisdom. If you read the chapter, you'll see. And that He is the one who is brought before us here as the Creator, who knows us through and through, who knows all about this world and all its tricks and everything.
The chapter shows us that he has a perfect understanding of all things.
Wisdom is mine sound counsel. He said he understands all the things that you're going to have to meet and now and no longer hear the voice of parent. Don't forget the voice of wisdom still cry. God has given you in his word the instruction that you need and I won't dwell upon this 8th chapter, but in the 8th chapter it says.
In the.
Last verse He that sinneth against me wrong with his own soul.
They that hate me love death. All they that hate me love death. That is, if we don't want the wisdom of God, then we must love a path that only leads to a sad and solemn end.
May the Lord grant that we might follow then the wisdom of His Word.
When we come to this 9th chapter, it says here Wisdom hath builded her house, she hath hewn out her seven pillars.
Well, I'd like to just speak of this verse in connection with a partner for life. You know, as I say, and I believe it is very important, the partner that you choose in life is either going to make you or break you, is either going to help you or hinder you is going to be a blessing or otherwise in your life. And it's so important that you should be before the Lord about this. There is no other decision that.
So important, except that which has to do with the salvation of your soul and following the Lord in the path of obedience in a spiritual way. But in a natural sense, it's the most important decision that you can possibly make. And as I have watched young people and seen them enter into relationships of life, I have seen some and it has just been the beginning of a real change and a blessing of happiness and joy and following the Lord.
Helping one another and with others, it has been the very opposite. It hasn't been for their blessing. And I'm saying these things rather frankly because as I say, as I have traveled about, I have seen how that the breakdown of the home is affecting the whole assembly. It's spoiling the testimony because we come involved in all these kind of things.
Because the whole life is the background of the assembly.
God we find in the epistle of Timothy, the one who was in the position of responsibility in the assembly was one whose house was ordered according to the will of God. And so this is so important and I just like to mention these 7 pillars as the things that you might look for so that you can build a home that is according to their mind and will of God.
I address this both to the boys.
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And to the girls, I address it particularly to the boys, because you are the one who makes the particular advances, but also to the girl because she is responsible about her response.
You know, I believe that in the divine pattern the love is always to begin in the heart of the man.
There was no love in our hearts toward the Lord Jesus. The love began in His heart. Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it.
And I respond.
But in his grace, he continued seeking us until he broke us down, and then he won our hearts. And I've seen some very happy marriages where the boy has really sought the affections of the girl and has resulted in happiness. But I've seen the reverse where it hasn't really been the boy who did the seeking. And I don't believe that that is the divine pattern. I believe it's God's pattern that it should begin in the heart of the boy and then it's something that is.
Sustained through the marriage, that love that God planted there. But of course now the girl, she is responsible. As to her response, we don't find that Isaac was forced upon that Rebecca, or rather Isaac was forced upon Rebekah. We find that she was given the opportunity to decide.
And it was said to her, Wilt thou go with this man? It was her decision.
And I am saying this because a girl may or may not feel that the one who is making the advances is the right one.
But I believe that that is the divine plan, and that's why it's so important that we should pray and seek the Lord's mind. And so I believe that in this, there are really seven different things that are brought before us here. And I just like to mention them, these seven things, and I'll speak of them briefly. First, that the partner is saved, and secondly, that your partner wants to follow the Lord.
And thirdly, that you're sure.
That there is a real deep affection, and then that there is a respect. And then that the boy accepts the place that God has given to him as the man. And that the girl accepts the place that God has given to her as the woman. And then that there is self sacrifice for one another and that there is self sacrifice for others.
I don't believe that if we look for those kind of things.
We will find that which builds a happy home. And if you can look and think of some happy homes that you know about, I think you would say yes. I, I think I see those seven things in those homes. I think I see they're both saved. They both want to follow the Lord. There's a real love for one another and enduring love.
There is a mutual respect for one another. They make sacrifices for one another, and then together they sacrifice for others. I believe these things are very, very practical. Dear young people, we're living in days when everything is made of the outward appeal. But God would have us to look a little deeper than the outward appeal. He wants us to look into that which is.
Vital and real, the Scripture says.
Gracefulness is deceitful and beauty is vain.
The woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. And so these are deep moral virtues, same as we have in the New Testament, where it speaks of the hidden man of the heart, and that which is not corruptible, the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. Well, I'm just to speak of them one by 10, how often we have seen a boy or a girl.
Going on for the Lord, coming regularly to the meetings.
Reading their Bible.
Then perhaps they see somebody who's not saved all. They say they're such nice people, nicer than anybody I've met in the meeting. So, so nice, so thoughtful, so kind. Let me warn you solemnly, the Bible tells you, be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers. What communion hath light with darkness? What part hath he that believeth?
With an infidel, to think that you would join yourself for life with someone who's on his or her way to hell while you're on your way to heaven. What a what a tragedy it is, to say the least, to think that a Christian would enter into such a position. And how does it come about? Well, the Bible says keep thy heart with all diligence. We don't we don't realize our own hearts. One of the verses.
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My father used to give to us as young people constantly when we were still at home.
He used to bring that verse before us. He that trust us in his own heart is a fool. He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool. I've seen it happen. Young people will go out and they say, oh, I didn't mean anything by it was just a way to spend an evening. But how could you spend an evening with someone who didn't love the Lord?
And someone whom you knew very well might steal your heart.
Oh, I warn you, dear young people, there's many, many tragedies among those who have been saved and.
Gathered to the precious name of the Lord Jesus. And then they didn't keep their heart and they allowed those affections to go out to someone that was not saved. Don't you say? But I've often seen it happen that partner got saved afterwards. Thank God for that. I thank God from the bottom of my heart every time I find out that some Christian married an unbeliever and the unbeliever got saved afterwards. But.
Are we going to presume on the grace of God?
Are we going to say that because God overruled our mistakes that therefore we can go ahead and plunge into a path that is disobedient to His Word and.
While there are some, and God in His grace has wrought and sometimes saved the partner, why there's a great many, the partner hasn't been saved.
And they have dragged the Christian away, and the Christian has lost all fruitfulness in their lives. And while at the end, perhaps God came in the last years, and the sorrows were such that it didn't make it worthwhile.
It would have been far better to have waited upon the Lord, far better to have gone on alone through life. You know, there's a very interesting thing because.
There may be some that come from very small meetings and you say, but there aren't any that I can think of. And so because I can't find a Christian partner, the only alternative is to have someone who's not saved and hope they will get saved.
That you have to disobey God in order to have his blessing, and surely that's not the right thing to do. You know, there's a very interesting thing in connection with the ark. Did you ever notice that all the unclean animals went in two by two, but the clean animals went in by sevens? Why was it so that the unclean animals went in two by two? But the.
Clean animals by 7 because that wasn't an even number. I suppose it possibly means that there were three couples and 1 odd one that is 3 who had a mate and 1 odd one. Well, what about those odd ones? Did you ever find out what happened to them? Well, when they came out of the ark, Noah took all of the clean animals and it says he offered a sacrifice to the Lord. And I've seen young people that have gone through life.
Alone rather than marry an unbeliever and their life has been a sacrifice.
To the Lord, but the Lord's not going to forget that sacrifice. The Lord's going to reward that sacrifice in the coming day. Far better to go on through life alone than to disobey His word and get away from Him. And so I just present this to you, dear young people. Be sure the one whom you think of is truly the Lord's. We had a little bit in this morning too, not just.
Profession but reality. By their fruits he shall know them. Don't be satisfied.
With just a little profession, look for reality and look for what is vital and real because you know sometimes the partner can say yes in order to please you, in order to get you. I work with a man and he told me himself he was not saved and he married a Christian girl and he said I went with her.
To the meetings, I don't know just what group it was because it was over in England.
He said I went with her until we were married. And he said after you catch the bird you're free. And that was the rest of his life. And he, he didn't go along. His wife died, I suppose an unhappy person. I never met his wife, but it was sad to think I talked to that man many times about the Lord. He even came out to the meeting and heard the gospel. But as far as I know he died without Christ.
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But he pretended to please the one.
Whom he married. Don't be satisfied with the pretense. Look for reality, dear young people.
And then the next is to follow the Lord. Scripture says, how can two walk together except they be agreed? Except they be agreed.
I've seen young people and I meet a nice Christian, and a Christian is not seeking to follow the Lord, perhaps even might be in the meeting, but is not really wanting to follow the Lord. And so it's a divided home. One wants to follow the Lord, the other doesn't, and there isn't unity. And how can two walk together except they be agreed? It's a wonderful thing to have a partner that really wants to follow.
The Lord and when you want to do something for the Lord to be able to talk it over and say, let's do this and have a partner who is truly an armor bearer, a help in the in life when you can, if problems arise, you can turn to the Lord together. You have mutual desires. You want to please him. And so you set out in life to follow the Lord. You read the word together, you pray together.
You make your decisions, you go to meeting together.
But oh, how often we've seen. Oh, well, that partner is a Christian. He doesn't. He doesn't really see the path of the truth, but he or she is a real devoted Christian. I've seen that happen too, so often. And what happens afterwards? Well, either one decides to go the wrong way, or they both decide that they'll choose the more easy path where there won't be any conflict as they think.
Oh dear young people.
Be sure that the one that you choose is one who wants to follow the Lord. And I say this, when you glow together, what do you talk about? You talk about the Lord. Do you really share thoughts of His love one with another? You find after you've been together and spent an evening that you were strengthened in the Lord or hindered. You come home feeling refreshed in spirit that you've been with someone who really helped you to follow the Lord.
Oh, that's what it means. So can I say that?
Is the second thing, and then there needs to be love.
Now, there has to be a real, deep and abiding love, and it must be. It mustn't be just some kind of infatuation with looks or with personality or something. It has to be something that's a little deeper than that. It's something that you can't altogether define.
Love is something that I don't think it's possible to be fine, but I will say this, it isn't handling one another. It isn't that kind of thing. That isn't what love is at all. Love is something that you can feel down in your heart that is very real and it doesn't depend upon the indulgence of one another's feelings. I, I say this to you because I think this is so important.
Lots of people.
Now confuse love and lust. But you know, love is something that's altogether different, something that.
Is abiding something that goes on because you have to share life together, You enter into things together.
I will often say in connection with that verse in First Thessalonians chapter 5, it says, I pray God, your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved, blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. And I believe, dear young people, that is the order. Spirit means that the intelligent God conscious part of your being, you weigh the thought, you consider it carefully before the Lord. Is this the one?
That the Lord has chosen for me. And then not until you have considered that carefully do you let your emotions go. That's the soul. And not until the wedding day do you let the body go. So let's remember what love really is. It is something that we feel, something that abides and that carries us through life. You can often see it in some, and my wife and I often after some young couples have been married.
We will say you can see.
A sparkle of it and others. It just seems to be lacking. There's something that's real about it, dear young people. And be sure that it's one you love. And then there needs to be respect. And that's an important thing too. We're not all suited to one another. There are some that are nice Christians, there are some that want to follow the Lord, but there isn't a feeling of respect that you could have. And if I could define it in a very simple way, it would be this.
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That you're pleased to introduce your partner.
Partner as part of yourself on any occasion and in any kind of company, you're just pleased that that person represents you, is really part of you. I've seen couples and they're ashamed of one another. They really are not part of one another. They find fault with one another. They talk about the failures of their partner, but you know, where there's respect, It's something that you feel and I think you need to consider this carefully if you're going to be married.
Right now, would I be pleased to introduce this person who is going to be my partner as part of myself on any occasion? Well, this is this is what respect really is and I believe this is important.
And then it says, and then also to mention the place of man and place of woman. You know, that we're living in a day when this is being destroyed in the world. We find that the place of man and the place of woman is trying to be. They're trying to change it and make what they call unisex.
You know God has a place for the man and he has a place for the woman.
And I believe it's important if you're going to be married, that the one whom you're going to marry is able to occupy the place of a husband. If it's the man, and that you can look up to him and respect him and honor him, you're content to be submissive to him, for that's what the Bible says you should be. And if you don't feel that you can submit to him, you better not enter into marriage.
If you can't recognize Him as the head, which God says He is, it isn't a man that has assumed this place. In this present society, people make out that men assume this place, but they really aren't worthy of it. Well, true, we're not always worthy of it, but God put us in the place and we are responsible to fulfill the place that He has put us in. And it's very important that you should expect that the one whom you marry is one that you can look.
Up to and honor and submit to him, and give him the place that God has given to him.
And then too, that the boy should consider as to whether the girl is willing to take the place that God has assigned to her. Is she one who is forever trying to take the lead and make all the decisions and everything? There's something wrong because we're helpers together in decisions. And I don't say the husband's wisdom is always best. God had to say to Abraham on one occasion.
Hearken unto the voice of Sarah, thy wife, in all that she saith unto thee, and a man being.
Doesn't mean that he's always made the right decisions and doesn't need any help from his wife. I thank God for much help that I have received from my wife. And I'm sure that many a man who has had a happy marriage would bless God from his heart that he has a wife who helps him but still honors him in the place where God has put him. And so here we have the place that God has assigned to the man and to the woman.
And then the next thing we mentioned was self sacrifice for one another. Well, I believe this is important too. It's very, very nice to see that kind of willingness on the part of the husband and the wife to take sacrifices for one another. In other words, not to be selfish. And you'll notice this in little things. There's a lot of little things that you'll discover when you're going together as to whether the one who's going to be your partner.
Is selfish or is willing to make sacrifices to help you.
For as one man said to me, he said, he said to me, what I'm trying to do is to make someone else happy. Well, you know, isn't that nice? And that's, that's the real way of happiness in life. And I say to every boy that's going to be married, don't get married just to thank the girl who's going to make you happy. Get married to make her happy and in making her happy.
You will be happy.
The scripture says.
The scripture says it's more blessed to give than to receive and unto if, if it's a girl that I'm speaking to, are you willing to try and make your husband happy? I remember reading a man who was I met this man, he was a missionary in China at one time and he told me that a Chinese lady came to one of the meetings and she got saved and some of the women who were helping in the work.
Told her she should go home and tell her husband that she had been saved.
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And she said, oh, I can't do that. If I do, he'll kill me. Why? He's a he'll be so angry because he has no use for Christianity. This was the number of years back when there wasn't as much established order as there perhaps is even now. And so this Christian man, his name was Mr. Becker, he said.
Well, it says in Peter that they may without the word be 1 by the conversation of the wives. And he spoke to this lady. He said if you'd like to win your husband, I'd like to ask you a few questions. He said who gets the breakfast in your house? Or she said he he usually gets up and gets his own breakfast. Well, he said tomorrow morning you get up and get the breakfast for him.
And he said, do you try and cook food that he likes? And she said, well, no, I guess I'm selfish. I I cook the things I like most myself.
He said you start cooking the things that he likes and when he wants to do things are are you willing? Well, she said, I guess I haven't been very cooperative. Well, he said, as you go home and you make a nice meal for him, you get up tomorrow morning and make the breakfast for him. But don't tell him you've been saved. Just do those things for him.
Well, she went home.
After a couple of days he said whatever has happened to you. And she said, well, I can't tell you. You'll be angry if I tell you.
So it went on for a few days more and she still was acting this way. And he said, he said, you have to tell me because I like you this way. And he.
And she said, well, you may not like what I tell you, but I've taken the Lord as my Savior and that's what's made the difference. Well, as Mr. Becker told me, within two weeks the man was saved and got baptized. Well, this is just a little incident that I tell you. It just shows what can be done when we're willing to follow the precepts of God's Word.
Many unhappy homes can be changed altogether if we're only willing to follow.
But God says in his word when I'm speaking to young people here that I'm asking you to consider these things and then these sacrifices to one another. But then there's also sacrifices for those outside says in the 31St Proverbs. She stretches forth her hands to the needy, and her tongue is the law of kindness. Isn't that beautiful? Here's one who's not only.
A wife that's fulfilled.
Place in the home, but there's the outreach to others. And you know, that's what a Christian home ought to be. Not just a place where we become selfishly centered in one another, but where we find joy in doing things together for others. Well dear young people, I'm just bringing these few things before you. It says Wisdom hath builded your house. He hath you now her 7 pillars. And I would beseech of you.
To hew out the seven pillars if you want to have a happy home.
Think of this before you get married. Talk it over together and if you're not both prepared to enter marriage with the Seven pillars, remember it will not be a feast in the home.
Direct the pillars, you can still direct them. Many an unhappy home can be changed into a happy one if we get down before the Lord and ask His help and His grace and His strength so that we might have one that's for His glory. And I'll add again before I close, and perhaps one of the main reasons why I've said it is it's going to affect the assembly too. It's going to affect the assembly, all the sorrows and the trials that are in the assembly.
Praise of God because of unhappy homes, because the relationship between husband and wife is not what it should be. The homes at the breaking point. Now there isn't that order in the home and it reflects itself in the assembly. We come there and there's no praise in our hearts. Well, I beseech you, dear young people, consider these things carefully. The Lord wants to bless you. He wants to give you a happy home. He wants to bless you and it.
If He doesn't bring a partner into your life, he can bless you another way. And I say again how there are going to be and there will be those whose lives are lives of sacrifice for the Lord. Don't be discouraged if He doesn't. He has something else for you. Because As for God, His way is perfect. But don't consider anything less in marriage than having a house with 7 pillars.
Take that which God has for you. He's not asking you to accept something that second rate, He wants to.
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Give you the best.
The best of blessings He'll provide us. May the Lord grant that we'll seek His mind and His will for our pathway. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.