The next day was rather uneventful for the five youngsters, and in the evening Grandma continued with Sweet Sixteen.
My old friends were quite displeased with me, and no longer desired my company. Emily was getting more and more involved over at the Presbyterian church. So I went on quietly attending the Methodist church with Mother although she had given her permission for me to go with Hortense and Curtsie to the assembly hall Bible readings. There I received much comfort and good Scripture-founded teaching. Mr. Marshall gave me Hosea 6:33Then shall we know, if we follow on to know the Lord: his going forth is prepared as the morning; and he shall come unto us as the rain, as the latter and former rain unto the earth. (Hosea 6:3) in those early days which I have kept for my own verse ever since. “Then shall we know, if we follow on to know the Lord.” There was so much I wanted to know. For instance, I felt I knew my eternity was secure—that I could never be lost. My mother, however, would say, “Now Annie, you can’t say for sure. You might fall away and be lost.” Oh if only I knew my Bible better—could just turn up all the scriptures for her! Slipping up to my room, I prayed, “Oh, Lord, I do not know where to find things, but how can I have eternal life, and yet fall away? Please, do show me.”
I opened my Bible to Psalm 37, verse 24, “Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth him with His hand.” I rushed downstairs to Mother. “Listen to this! If I fall, I can only fall into His Hands!" Then I had known the 23rd Psalm, and John 10:2727My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: (John 10:27) and 28—“My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me: and I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of My hand.”
But Mother was so full of what her church taught! She then told me that we were to have important house guests who could answer all my questions. Two ministers, no less. The many branches of Mother’s church were seeking to unite and settle their differences at a large conference. “Well!” I thought, “Now is my chance to learn a lot when they are staying with us.”
One of these was quite evangelical, and accompanied me to a little mission, a wonderful, true work among the very poor. This I enjoyed. Around that time a new hymn had just come out. We all sang it heartily with these folk.
“Now we are free—there’s no condemnation
Jesus provides a perfect salvation,
`Come unto Me,’ oh hear His sweet call,
Come and He’ll save you, once for all.”
“There!” I said to this minister, “I believe I can never perish as the Scriptures say and as you have just been singing.” But he as well as all the others always remonstrated.
I went on to dig into the Word myself. I found John 1:1212But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: (John 1:12): “As many as received Him, to them gave He power to become the sons of God... " This was the new birth. I studied Nicodemus’s encounter with the Lord. He had to have a second birth. I had never heard or read of a third. Also 1 Peter 1:2323Being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God, which liveth and abideth for ever. (1 Peter 1:23): “Being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God, which liveth and abideth for ever.” Then I read in Ecclesiastes 3:1414I know that, whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor any thing taken from it: and God doeth it, that men should fear before him. (Ecclesiastes 3:14), “I know that, whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever.” This new birth put me into a grand, new relationship—God as my Father and His Spirit giving me to cry “Abba Father.” Jesus also said, “The Father Himself loveth you.” With my new relationship, as with the fleshly one, there is correction, training and discipline, I found, “For what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?” Hebrews 12:77If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? (Hebrews 12:7). Well, it was settled for me—on the solid Word of God.
The poor ministers with us no doubt found me a trial. I had the nerve to ask why babies were sprinkled when it looked to me like baptism should be a type of going down under into death with the Lord to be raised up in newness of life and that I wondered if I should be immersed. They said, “Well! Sprinkling of babies was an ordinance given to us, just as circumcision was to the Jews. They left me a stack of books to read, and one shaking his head as he left, said to Mother, “When a girl says she will or she won’t, you can’t do anything with her!” Misunderstood again! I wasn’t trying to be difficult, I truly wanted to know the truth.
Why do we have all these different churches anyway? I wanted to be with Emily and she was over at her folks’ church. How could you know which to join? Some had to be wrong. In fact, it seemed that I had not found any right.