ONE morning, after having asked the Lord to guide with regard to whom He would have me give a tract, I saw an old woman walking feebly along, and felt led to speak to her.
She received the tract with evident pleasure, and, in answer to inquiries about her health, she told me she was very weak, and suffered from bronchitis; also that she lived alone in one room (pointing to a house close by), and would like to have a visitor, and the Bible read to her.
I was hindered for awhile, but when able to call and see her, she told me all about her illness; also that she had been a widow for a good many years, but had the pension, five shillings per week, to live upon, and a little help from two sons, adding," So although I am poor, I am not as badly off as some. I can't always make the money last out, for by time I've paid the two shillings for rent, and bought my little things and coal, it's gone.
And then I want a bit of wool and cotton for mending, and something for my cough. But I don't get much behind with the rent; and when I do my son helps me.”
She was so simple and straightforward, and moreover looked so frail and ill, that my heart was drawn to her, and I presently began to speak of the Saviour, and asked her how she stood with regard to eternity.
Her answer was, “It is all very mysterious;
I can't understand it.”
I read her some simple scriptures, asking her if they sounded "very mysterious.”
“Well, no," she said; " they seem simple as you read them; but there's a deal of sin in us, and I don't know, my head gets so muddled, I can't remember.”
She was very weak, and had a good deal of suffering, and I could see was not able to take in much; so, after a few simple words as to God's way of saving the poor sinner, I said good-bye.
She then said, “I think there are very few people in this life who can know they are saved," by her manner plainly showing that she really meant NONE could know.
When I called the next time she was getting ready to go out, but said she would go later on; she went out as much as she could, because she got so depressed staying indoors thinking so much.
Her Bible lay open on the bed, and she told me she read it a good deal, just at the places where it opened! but, indeed, she was not saved! "I am a lost sinner, I know," she said, "and me do anything, or keep God's commandments, why, I have not even been able to go to church for a long time! I am too weak! I am a lost sinner, and a very dark sinner.”
She said this very earnestly. "Well," I answered, “would you not like to know that all your sins are forgiven?”
Her poor, thin face lighted up with such a bright smile as she answered, " Oh, yes, it would be nice if I could know that 1 Why, it would not matter much my being poor and rather ill then, would it?”
I read her some scriptures which speak very plainly of the forgiveness of our sins. One, I remember, was “The blood of Jesus Christ His [God's] Son cleanseth us from all sin” (1 John 1:77But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. (1 John 1:7)). 1JO 1:77But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. (1 John 1:7) And another, "I write unto you, little children, because your sins are forgiven you for His [Christ's] Name's sake” (1 John 2:1212I write unto you, little children, because your sins are forgiven you for his name's sake. (1 John 2:12)). 1JO 2:1212I write unto you, little children, because your sins are forgiven you for his name's sake. (1 John 2:12)
Speaking to her very simply upon the finished work of Christ, I said that it is God Himself who tells the one who believes on Jesus that his or her sins are forgiven.
She listened attentively, and said, “I do believe on Jesus; and I must go on praying to God, and then I hope that He will forgive me.”
I felt led to put before her the truth that it was God who was offering her forgiveness freely, that she had not to keep on praying for it. If anyone offered her something very valuable, would she keep on asking for it; would she not rather take it, and thank the one who gave it to her?
After a little while she suddenly looked up, as though light had just dawned in upon her, and said, “Now, is that it? I have not to keep on asking God, but thank Him for sending the Saviour”
I assured her it was so, and that if she truly took her place as a lost sinner, and believed that Jesus Christ had died upon the cross, shedding His precious blood to put all her sins away, she had not to keep on praying to God to forgive her and save her, but to thank Him.
After a little more conversation, I said goodbye, when she asked me to come again soon, saying, "I must go on praying, and then I hope you will find me feeling better next time when you come," meaning more at rest about her soul.
To this I replied, “No! if you keep on praying I know I shall not find you feeling any better.”
When I called the next time, after first hearing about her many sufferings, for the poor body was indeed a tried one, I said, " Well, now, which is it, praying or praising?”
With a bright face she answered, “Oh! I have thanked God for His free gift, and I am grateful and thankful to Him, and I feel much better.”
Just to test her a little, I said, “But God says, ' The wages of sin is death,' and He is holy and righteous, as well as being love, so that these wages must be paid. We know, too, that we deserve death; what can we do about it, what can you do?”
She looked very grave; but then her face lighted up, and she answered, “Oh! my precious Saviour has paid them, and I am grateful to Him, and I do thank Him.”
“Yes! that is it," I said, rejoicing indeed to see how God had given her simple faith, and that "the entrance of His word" had indeed given light to this dear, simple soul.
I found, however, on subsequent visits, that there was still a further work of God needed to be done in this dear soul before she got settled peace, though she continued to thank Him for His free gift of the forgiveness of all her sins; and it was indeed a privilege to see how He graciously led her on into the full light.
On my next visit, after she had so simply confessed Christ, I found that doubts had come in. "I am so unbelieving," she said.
However, after reading Exo. 12 EXO 12with her, and pointing out that it is written, “When I see the blood, I will pass over you," she said, " I must not look in at myself, but right away to Christ; but I cannot remember." Afterward she spoke very simply of the precious blood which had washed all her sins away.
On another visit I read to her John 10:27-3127My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: 28And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. 29My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand. 30I and my Father are one. 31Then the Jews took up stones again to stone him. (John 10:27‑31), JOH 10:27-3127My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: 28And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. 29My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand. 30I and my Father are one. 31Then the Jews took up stones again to stone him. (John 10:27‑31) pointing out that it is Jesus who gives to His sheep eternal life, and that we become one of His sheep by believing upon Him.
She said earnestly, “I have believed upon Him, and for a long time I have been longing to know more about Jesus Christ.”
I then asked her if she could say that she had eternal life.
She drew herself back a little, saying,
"That would be a great thing to say. Why,” she continued, her face getting very bright, “that is worth more than all the money in all the world, isn't it?”
Another time I said to her, “If Jesus Christ were to come to-day, where would you be?”
“I think I should he in heaven," she said brightly; "but I ought not to say ' I think '; we ought to say ' we know,' didn't we? It is unbelief, and unbelief is sin." And then she added with energy, “I feel so different from what I did.".
I said to her, " If you owed a debt of £100 and had nothing to pay, and someone paid it for you, you would no doubt feel happy, but would it he your happy feelings which made you safe from the creditor?”
"Oh! no," she answered, seeing the meaning at once; it would be because it was all paid." She continued," It is peace which I now have; not like I ever had in the world” (looking at me to see if I understood what she meant), “it is the peace which never passes away.”
The next time when I saw her she said of her own accord to me, “Christ says that He gives eternal life to His sheep.”
“Then have you eternal life?” I said.
“Yes," she answered," it is worth more than everything else in the whole world.”
“And that is so safe," was her answer. "I used to be so restless and depressed, but now I can stay quiet, and leave everything to Him "; adding," Christ is all, and in all.”
I have written this very simple and true account, trusting that God, in His great goodness may use it to some other anxious souls, and that they, too, may see that forgiveness and eternal life are His free gifts, and may thank Him for them, and for that precious Saviour in whom alone they are to be found.
Then peace, through believing, will be theirs.