SOME people are very much concerned because they cannot point to any particular time when they were converted. For that reason they sometimes wonder whether they have ever been converted at all. We think they trouble themselves needlessly. There are those who are able to tell the very hour when this great transaction took place. They could show you the spot where God met with them, and tell you all the attendant circumstances. The Apostle Paul could have done this. So could the jailer at Philippi, and Lydia of Thyatira would remember that eventful Sabbath day when some stranger-men joined the little band of worshippers by the riverside and spake to them of Jesus and the resurrection.
And her heart was opened to receive the message (Acts 16:). But it is not every one who can. Perhaps the reader cannot. After all, it does not much matter whether you were led to see yourself a sinner and to ‘trust in Jesus, as such, months or years ago. That is not the prime point. This is it: Do you trust Jesus just now, at this very moment? Are all your hopes centered in Him now? Do you now see that apart from Him you must forever perish, but trusting Him you are forever saved?
“On Christ the solid rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand.”
If that is our song, then we may be quite sure we belong to Christ and are among His loved ones, even though we cannot name the hour when this became true.
And let us also remember that no two conversions have ever been exactly alike. God’s way of dealing with souls varies according to His manifold wisdom. With some it is an instant transition from night to day. With others it is gradual—first the silver streaks of the morning, afterward the golden sheen in the eastern sky, and then the sunrise. Some pass through an agony of conscience about their sins and sinful state. The pains of hell get hold of them. They tremble on the edge of the dark abyss. Of such was John Bunyan, of Bedford. Others are attracted by the grace of the Lord Jesus, and they are drawn to Him by a power which they neither can nor would resist. Of such was the one written about in (Luke 7:36-4936And one of the Pharisees desired him that he would eat with him. And he went into the Pharisee's house, and sat down to meat. 37And, behold, a woman in the city, which was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at meat in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster box of ointment, 38And stood at his feet behind him weeping, and began to wash his feet with tears, and did wipe them with the hairs of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with the ointment. 39Now when the Pharisee which had bidden him saw it, he spake within himself, saying, This man, if he were a prophet, would have known who and what manner of woman this is that toucheth him: for she is a sinner. 40And Jesus answering said unto him, Simon, I have somewhat to say unto thee. And he saith, Master, say on. 41There was a certain creditor which had two debtors: the one owed five hundred pence, and the other fifty. 42And when they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both. Tell me therefore, which of them will love him most? 43Simon answered and said, I suppose that he, to whom he forgave most. And he said unto him, Thou hast rightly judged. 44And he turned to the woman, and said unto Simon, Seest thou this woman? I entered into thine house, thou gavest me no water for my feet: but she hath washed my feet with tears, and wiped them with the hairs of her head. 45Thou gavest me no kiss: but this woman since the time I came in hath not ceased to kiss my feet. 46My head with oil thou didst not anoint: but this woman hath anointed my feet with ointment. 47Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little. 48And he said unto her, Thy sins are forgiven. 49And they that sat at meat with him began to say within themselves, Who is this that forgiveth sins also? (Luke 7:36‑49)). Let no one be unhappy because his conversion does not answer in every feature to that of somebody else. It is what we should expect. There are not two blades of grass alike, nor two leaves on all the forest trees, and could we put the sand of the sea-shore under a microscope we should not find a perfect resemblance between any two of its countless grains. So is it in the kingdom of grace.
There is another thing about which some souls anxiously inquire. Have I accepted Christ? Now that is not the thing to be inquired about at all. Such a question is apt to cast us in upon ourselves, and then we need not wonder if darkness and uncertainty ensue. Indeed, it may be doubted whether Christ is ever offered for our acceptance. The inquiry should rather be, Has God, against whom we have all sinned—has He accepted Christ? The Saviour’s sacrifice, while offered on our behalf, was certainly presented for God’s acceptance, not ours. If a man be heavily in debt, who is it that has to be satisfied―himself or his creditors? If we have sinned against God, who is it that has to be propitiated—the sinner or the One sinned against? Now we know of a surety that God has accepted Christ. He is much more than satisfied with the atonement Christ has made. And if God is satisfied, ought not we to be?
Have we not, then, to accept Christ? asks someone. Nay, but we would not put it in that form. The acceptance is on God’s side. To us the gospel is preached―glad tidings concerning Jesus, who died for our sins and has been raised from among the dead and is now in glory. This gospel we believe, and in believing we are forgiven, justified, saved, and have life through His name. The tendency of our wretched hearts is to turn from Christ to self in some shape or form. We shut ourselves up in a dark dungeon and then sorrow because the sun does not shine!
The gospel is a royal proclamation sent out to all the earth. Its terms are grandly simple. “Be it known unto you therefore, men and brethren, that through this Man is preached unto you the forgiveness of sins: and by Him all that believe are justified from all things, from which ye could not be justified by the law of Moses” (Acts 13:38, 3938Be it known unto you therefore, men and brethren, that through this man is preached unto you the forgiveness of sins: 39And by him all that believe are justified from all things, from which ye could not be justified by the law of Moses. (Acts 13:38‑39)). Nothing could be plainer. Thus forgiveness of sins is announced and the assurance given that all who believe are justified from all things. These are blessed tidings indeed! They are God’s glad tidings—sent by Him to guilty, ruined, lost perishing men. They bear His signature and seal. Let us believe them. If not we shall starve in the midst of plenty and perish from thirst with water all around.
And that is what so many are doing. Instead of believing the gospel, they are forever thinking of themselves, of something they must do, or be, or feel in order to find peace. No wonder that doubts and fears beset them, Does the reader happen to know any of these unhappy folks? You may recognize them by their speech, for they have a dialect of their own. “I” and “me” are their favorite pronouns. They cannot say five words without them. In this respect they bear a striking likeness to the one whose experiences are described in Romans 7. Nearly forty times within as many moments does that dejected man talk of “I” and “me”! The great vision of his soul is full of self from one end of it to the other. So it is with them. And as in his case so in theirs, a harvest of wretchedness is the only result. What else could be expected? And so it must go on till, sick and tired of themselves they cry out for a deliverer, and find one in Christ.
Oh, let us turn away from self—let us loathe it, hate it, and never listen to it more. Christ is rest to the weary. He is the Fountain of living waters where the thirsty may drink and be satisfied. He is bread for the hungry, clothing for the naked, the shadow of a great rock in a weary land. Here our souls, worn out by constant effort to be other than they are, may lie down and be at rest. Not I, but Christ! Not I, but Christ! The lesson is learned at last. May it never, never be forgotten more.
W. B.