“The trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honor and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ: whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory.”
1 Peter 1:7-8
“Such shall have trouble in the flesh.”
1 Corinthians 7:28
“Render ... due benevolence ...
the wife unto the husband.”
1 Corinthians 7:3
“She that is married careth
...
how she may please her husband.”
1 Corinthians 7:34
Marriage is a commitment, a promise a man and woman make to each other before God with family and friends as witnesses. There may be hours, there may be years when that promise is tested. Despite difficulties, we continue on together to honor God and the commitment we made before Him. This commitment is essential in our relationship as husband and wife. The testing keeps us from idolizing our husband; it turns our heart more fully toward Christ.
Ephesians 5:3333Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. (Ephesians 5:33) instructs wives to reverence their husbands. During times (perhaps even years) of testing, we may think we see reasons to not respect our husband. It is then that we have the privilege of simply obeying God. We can choose to come under our husband’s authority while our thoughts and our hearts’ focus is on our true Husband in glory (Isa. 54:55For thy Maker is thine husband; the Lord of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called. (Isaiah 54:5)). Yes, we are to love our husband. For some of us our love can be wearied. It is best renewed by developing our bond with our Lord, and then His love for our husband can flow from us, shown to our husband in all manner of lovingkindness, patience and hope.
When pleasing our husband goes against our will, we need to happily do what pleases him without allowing our flesh to act (1 Cor. 15:31). We have the power to do so because in those very moments, our thoughts can be so filled with love for our Lord that our true motivation is to please our husband for Christ’s sake.
It helps so much to look above our circumstances, to look above our husband to the Man in the glory. Even if our marriage is disappointing or painful, we have One above who can fully capture our affections. He is the only One who can truly meet abundantly the depths of our heart and soul.
“And when above the circumstance,
We see God’s hand and ways,
It comfort, peace, and blessings gives,
And cause for endless praise.”
There is great relief when we realize that God will hold our husband responsible for how and where he directs his household. We can be thankful that all authority is above us (1 Cor. 11:3; Eph. 5:2323For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. (Ephesians 5:23)). Nevertheless, we will be held accountable to God for how we respond to the decisions of this authority. Our comfort is that :
“Between the circumstance and me,
A Father’s loving hand
Is working all things for my good.”
Even when we cannot see God’s good hand in our husband’s decisions, attitudes, or actions, we can choose to believe by faith that it is there. Our heart’s condition is exposed by our responses. Will we choose to look above and in our heart rejoice in God, captivated by the amazing Man in the glory, so that kindness, longsuffering, and true meekness accompany us?
We have the privilege of being the God-appointed helpmeet that our husband needs. Part of that calling is to get out of God’s way, to not interfere with the work He is doing in our husband’s heart. We can be sure God is pursuing him to the end that he might glorify God. How we long to worship Christ fervently together so that more and more we become “one” (Eph. 5:3131For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. (Ephesians 5:31)). Be assured God will finish the work He has begun in us and in our husband (Phil. 1:66Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ: (Philippians 1:6)). A good amount of that is worked out in us through the crucible of marriage. We are humbled through living this closely with another sinner.
Our trust is in God, like the holy women mentioned in 1 Peter 3:5, “who trusted in God.” Our strength is in God. And so we can believe and rest in the fact that
“The love that set thee free,
Such love is evermore between
[This marriage bond] and thee.”