Blackheath, January, 1875.
My Beloved Brother,
How merciful it is of the Lord to conceal from us the future; for I am afraid that, if we had seen the character of the path by which we were about to be led, our prayers would have died away upon our lips. How, then, did the Lord deal with us in answer to our prayers? In both cases it was by sickness. I was the first to be smitten down. This was in October, 1872; but having somewhat recovered, I struggled on with my work until March, 1873; and I may perhaps add, that this period of weakness was more fruitful of blessing, in the conversion of souls, than any former period of my ministry. It was, therefore, my earnest desire to remain at my post; but the Lord’s design was to send me away into the desert for a long season of heart-searching in His presence.
For now, breaking utterly down, I was sent away for a six months’ sojourn on the Continent; and this period was extended to thirteen months before I returned. And though the Lord has now separated me from my people, it is my joy to recall all the tender affection with which they throughout this period ministered to my need. May the Lord abundantly recompense them, inasmuch as they did it as unto Himself in the person of His servant, and “supply all their need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 4:1919But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19)).
Before, however, I enter upon my exercises of soul during my sojourn in Switzerland, let me anticipate some few months. Not long after I had departed, your health also began to fail, and finally you had to succumb; and yielding to medical advice you likewise were sent away to the Continent. I need not recall to your mind how unexpectedly we met at Lausanne, or the pleasure we had the day we spent together at Veytaux. But you will not forget, how deeply I was impressed with the coincidences in the Lord’s dealing with us, and how consequently I suggested for our consideration, whether there might not have been something in our position and teaching which had brought upon us loving chastisement from the hand of the Lord, and whether therefore it might not be the Lord’s design to correct us on these points, and to lead us into a fuller apprehension of His truth, and a position more in accordance with His mind and will.
But this very question had sprung out of much previous self-examination and self-judgment. It is only natural to the child of God that the time of affliction should be a time of searching of heart; and, accordingly, no sooner had I reached the Continent than, in my daily walks and during my sleepless nights, the question which continually presented itself to my soul was this, What is the Lord’s purpose in this affliction? or, What does He thereby design to teach me? And, by His grace, I was resolved not to rest until He had been pleased to reveal to me the meaning of His chastening hand; and hence I examined and re-examined my past modes of work, the truths I had taught, whether from the pulpit or by the pen, and the position which I had occupied. Let me, then, detail as briefly as possible the results of my investigation.
At the very outset, my tractate against “the Brethren” engaged my anxious consideration. Very soon after it was issued, I regretted its publication. The reason of my regret then was, that while I at the time believed all that I had written, I could not but entertain the most sincere esteem for such of the “Brethren” as I knew. I could not fail to admire their separateness of walk, their simplicity of life, and their love for the word of God and the person of our blessed Lord; and oftentimes I felt most acute sorrow that I had wounded such, and that by my book I had shut myself out from all fellowship with them. Besides this, I sometimes suspected whether I had dealt quite fairly with them in criticizing detached quotations; whether, in fact, I had conscientiously sought to ascertain their real meaning, and to test it by the Scriptures. The consequence was, that I had long since, before leaving England, ceased to have it advertised (I had never allowed it to be advertised in a local publication with the rest of my books), and had more recently determined that it should be discontinued. But now, after having an opportunity of more authentic information upon many of the points on which I had dwelt, and having been compelled to renounce, after again searching the Scriptures, some of the doctrines which I had therein advocated, I was compelled not only to resolve that the book should be withdrawn, but also to confess that I could no longer adhere to all the statements therein contained. And I further resolved, that on the first opportunity I would state this much publicly, and express my sorrow for its publication, on my resumption of work.
Next in order I examined my practice in the light of my teaching. Had I in this respect been consistent? Very sorrowfully, I was soon compelled to admit some important discrepancies. Thus I had held for many years that believers should be gathered as such on the Lord’s day to “break bread,” and had often stated this from the pulpit; so also I thoroughly held the evil of pew-rents, and so forth; for, apart from their unscriptural character, I had often noticed that poor believers were compelled to sit anywhere and everywhere, however uncomfortable it might be, because that unbelievers who could pay had the option of choosing pews. I had frequently stated my convictions on these points, and had satisfied myself with my testimony. Here was the failure. I was responsible for the truth which the Lord revealed to me, and hence I was bound in faithfulness to Him to seek to carry it out in action. This I had neglected; but now He gave me grace to confess my error, and to seek strength for faithfulness on my return.
After this I tested the doctrines I had preached by the light of the Scriptures; and here also I discovered grounds for regret. I had, as already stated, in the pamphlet to which I have referred, as well as from the pulpit, advocated the mortality of the Lord’s human body—in the sense of being under the necessity of death—though, I can truthfully say, that I was not aware at that time of the nature of the errors with which this doctrine had been associated, or I should have shrunk from them with horror. Further study of the word of God now showed me that I had been hasty in my conclusions; that indeed the Lord’s human body was mortal, but only in the sense of being capable of dying, AND NOT IN ANYWISE AS BEING UNDER THE NECESSITY OF DEATH; for to maintain the latter would be, as I was now convinced, to assail the very foundations of the atoning sacrifice.
The coming of the Lord Jesus for His saints also occupied my attention. Together with yourself, I had maintained that, while His coming would be premillennial, there were necessarily intervening events before the rapture of the saints, and hence that the Church would have to pass through the final tribulation, and be therefore on the earth during the power and sway of Antichrist. I devoted the whole winter, more or less, to the reconsideration of this subject; and as the Lord so ordered it, I was brought into contact at Veytaux with other Christians, and we searched the Scriptures together upon this question. You will not expect that I should set forth the steps by which I finally arrived at the conclusion that the Church will not be in the tribulation; but I may just say that the perception that Matt. 24 does not apply to the Church, and a closer study of the Apocalypse, largely contributed to this issue. It was, however, with no small delight that I saw it to be the believer’s blessed privilege to live daily in the expectation of his Lord’s return; for, indeed, I had long had a secret conviction that, unless it were so, many of the exhortations of Scripture as to waiting and watching had lost their force, and that such a hope and expectation must exert, in the power of the Holy Spirit, a most blessed and sanctifying influence upon the believer’s soul (See 1 John 3:2-32Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 3And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure. (1 John 3:2‑3).)
The effect of my change of view on this subject was to modify several other points. It brought into clearer light the nature and calling of the Church, the contrast between the earthly hope of the Jew, and the heavenly hope of the believer, the kingdom and the Church, and led to the readjustment of related truths. But further than this I did not at that time go; and I can truly say that the above represents the extent of my change of view during my residence on the Continent. For though during the winter, at Bible-readings and in conversations with Christian friends, I had many discussions, and sometimes found it difficult to defend the “church” practices with which I was associated, I yet clung most tenaciously to my position. With the exceptions named, therefore, the close of the winter found me very much where I was before; for I had not altered any fundamental principle—anything at least which affected my continuance at the post which I had held for so many years. And if I had entertained any doubts of this kind, the prospect, now dawning upon me, of returning to my beloved people would have scattered them, and re-established my confidence. When finally, therefore, we started on our homeward way, the only fear I had was, whether, though I was much better, my health was sufficiently restored to enable me to resume my long-interrupted work. But I will leave the account of my return until my next letter. In the meantime believe me, beloved brother,
Yours affectionately in the Lord,
E. D.