The following is the second in a series on the subject of the “misunderstanding, misplacement and misuse of natural relationships” begun in the October 1998 Christian Shepherd.
Misunderstanding in Marriage Relationships
We will now consider the “misunderstanding” of roles in nature. We will begin with Adam and his wife in the garden of Eden. Here all was pure, undefiled nature, and until it was neglected, man and his wife were to enjoy, not only Eden, but also visits with their God, who was a Spirit. “God is a spirit” (John 4:2424God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth. (John 4:24)). Adam was to “dress and keep it” (guard and till). This was his responsibility in this realm of nature as being the “first Adam,” its head. His failure as head was devastating, the tragic consequences still being felt by the human race today, not only upon nature, but it also has affected man’s relationship with his God. How did this failure by Adam as the “head” and his wife as his “body” display itself? (See Ephesians 5:23-3323For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. (Ephesians 5:23‑33).)
Man’s and Woman’s Special Needs
Adam had a special need of a wife, even in his unfallen condition, as created by the Lord God. To meet this need of Adam, the woman was created. “Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man” (1 Cor. 11:99Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. (1 Corinthians 11:9)). However, the woman also had need of her mate. “Nevertheless neither is... the woman without the man, in the Lord.” The foundation truth of marriage is that it is a relationship based upon our need of each other in our proper marriage roles the man as head and the woman as the body. It was failure relating to these relationships that led to the fall of man in Eden (meaning “delight”). Consequently, instead of enjoying the fruit of this place of delight in properly held relationships, they were driven out of Eden. Misunderstanding of and failure to fulfill their roles in nature led to sin, resulting in travail, unspeakable sorrow and eventually death. Also lost was some form of communion and joy with their Creator God. I would now desire to consider their story, which was “written for our learning” (Rom. 15:44For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope. (Romans 15:4)).
The Beautiful Oneness of Marriage
Upon woman’s creation, she was brought to the Man. He, as her head, named her, as he had the lower creation, for which he was also responsible. He said, “She shall be called Woman.” He entered into God’s mind concerning her, for “the Lord God... made... a woman.” Adam said, “Woman, because she was taken out of man” (Gen. 2). She was, practically, his body; he was her head. Then the precious truth relating to the marriage union is spoken by the Lord God: “They shall be one flesh.” Such harmony and beauty! And in nothing were they ashamed, for they were “one flesh.”
Testing and Failure
This first “revealed” truth of “oneness” is to be tested. After stating, “They shall be one flesh,” it immediately says, “And they were both naked.” The oneness had to do with the man being the head and the woman being the body the two roles composing one man (Gen. 1:2727So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. (Genesis 1:27)).
In the marriage relationship it is so, as it is so also with Christ and the church. They are looked at as one flesh (Eph. 5): Christ the head, the church His body, one flesh. The subtle serpent approaches the woman as if she were a responsible head unto whom God had spoken. He says, “Yea, hath God said, Ye [plural] shall not eat?” The Lord God had commanded the man, “Thou [singular] shalt not eat.” What might have been the result had the woman simply said, “The Lord God gave my husband those instructions; ask him”! She left her role as being his body, needing him as her head the “saviour of ” her “body” (Eph. 5:2323For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. (Ephesians 5:23)). She left her place and was deceived—or, she was deceived and left her place.
Oh! how he failed in his role as head in providing for the need that Eve had of him as saviour of the body. He did not provide the care that she, as his body, required to be preserved blameless. He failed, also, by allowing the serpent access into that garden he was responsible to guard and, how solemn, access to his beloved wife.
Beloved brethren, may we realize this work of the serpent was not a one-time act, nor is it now confined to the woman. “But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled [deceived] Eve through his subtlety , so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ [or, as to the Christ]” (2 Cor. 11:33But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ. (2 Corinthians 11:3)). This, notice, was in connection with our being “espoused... to one husband” (2 Cor. 11:22For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ. (2 Corinthians 11:2)).
Failure of Maintaining Roles in Marriage
Now consider the one named “Woman” by her husband. He had authority to name her, as being her head. Her mind having been corrupted (2 Cor. 11:33But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ. (2 Corinthians 11:3)), she leaves her special place as having been taken from her husband’s body. She, being Adam’s body, did not need the tree that was “desired to make one wise [intelligent].” She had a head to look to, but she lost her sense of needing him as such and wanted, for herself, to become as a god, “knowing” that is, to have her own intelligence. The thought of “god” is a place of authority. (See Psalm 823Defend the poor and fatherless: do justice to the afflicted and needy. (Psalm 82:3).) It was unto gods “the word of God came” ( John 10:3535If he called them gods, unto whom the word of God came, and the scripture cannot be broken; (John 10:35)).
This was, in truth, the role her husband had before God. He spoke to the man alone. Based on her order in creation, the Spirit of God through Paul writes, “Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve” (1 Tim. 2:11-1311Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. 12But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. 13For Adam was first formed, then Eve. (1 Timothy 2:11‑13)). As a result of her not keeping her place as Adam’s body and needing him as her head, it says, “The woman being deceived was in the transgression.” Her mind had been corrupted. She had not “the mind of Christ” (I speak of the antitype). Once there was this leaving of her place in nature, sin against their God soon followed. Failure in the realm of nature affected their proper relationship, work and communion with their God.
The Spiritual Effects of Failure
Can we, as men, relate to this? When we as husbands do not care for our beloved wives as our own bodies, allowing separation to come into this intimate relationship and broken communion with our wives, does this not affect our usefulness to the Lord? With both elders and deacons you find the expression “husband of one wife.” Beloved, this is not the same as saying “having one wife.” A man might be married and know nothing of what it means to be a husband.
If one did not know what being a husband meant, in the reality of life, he could not be given the spiritual responsibility of an elder, nor even the responsibility of a deacon, in God’s assembly.
Violations in the realm of nature hinder one in service to the house of God. One walking disorderly in the realm of nature was to be noted, and believers were to “have no company with him, that he may be ashamed” (2 Thess. 3). One who provides not for his own house “hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel” (1 Tim. 5:88But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. (1 Timothy 5:8)). Again, we see failure in the realm of nature has an affect upon our spiritual state.
The Critical Necessity of Love in Marriage
In the next article, I would like to consider one thing that a man who is a husband is to provide the one who is his “one wife.” The foremost provision for a wife by her husband is love: “Husbands, love” (Eph. 5:2525Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; (Ephesians 5:25)). Yes, for a husband to fulfill his responsibility in nature to his wife, he must love her.
H. Short (to be continued)