“OH! I could bear it if I only knew that he was saved!” was the awe-stricken cry of the new-made widow during most of the six long hours I spent with her.
It must have been between six and seven years since I had last seen her; at that interview I hoped she had found peace of conscience through the finished work of Christ, but she went on with the world, while, through the Lord's great grace, His aggressive love had in some small measure separated me to Himself, and so the distance between us had widened; but now, in answer to the single word "Come" on a post-card, I found myself once more with her—the high-born woman of fashion, now utterly desolate—a widow indeed. Oh! what a mockery did all the luxury of refinement and wealth seem to the stern reality of her agony. I read death, death, death, on each beautiful object in her stately rooms.
Desolate, bereaved, widowed, her own side of her sorrow was lost sight of, in this deeper anguish, the too late care for his soul—"Is he saved?" Again and again she went over with me each shred of hope, memory hunting up the feeblest expression of trust. "If I had but cared for his soul as I did for his body," was but one among the many utterances of her remorse. She was quite past cheating herself into any false hope. The memory of his upright, honorable, spotless career (and it was all this) was quite thrown into shade now, for pleasant to nature only could it be as the one cry of her heart were met. She knew—deep down in her own soul she knew—that personal heart contact with the living Lord who had died—that real living faith in His blood shed, alone could avail. She knew that though it takes but "little" to save, that that "little" is a reality, and she could not deceive herself, much as her strong love wished it; she could not put aught in the place of the touch of living faith in the "Blood that cleanses from all sin." The remembrance of goodness, of sacraments, and of prayers, could satisfy her not; what was needed to comfort her mourning heart alas! was wanting.
Only you who have seen the like can have any idea of what it is to come face to face with such hopeless woe. I could but commend her silently to Him who is the answer to fear and woe, as I had the anguish of meeting over and over again her questioning agony with a terrible silence only too eloquent; and by-and-by to to press on her her loss, in letting this come between Christ and her soul.
And now, you who read, I ask you, Are you saved? Ah! do not shirk my question, do not deceive yourself with a careless "No one can know," for, you may know, thousands do know, do positively, certainly know, and why not you? and more, be assured of this—that if you really do want to know, you most certainly will, for the Lord never sends any needy one empty away.
This one did not despise God's salvation, far from it: to use his own words, "I believe every word of the Bible;" he went to church, took the sacrament, honored God outwardly—but what of that which went on within? No, no, he did not despise, his profession was all right—he only "neglected. Are you "neglecting?" Quite possibly you do not despise, but what about neglecting? It is written," How shall we escape if we neglect so great salvation"? It is God's salvation. Do you care for it? or, do you neglect it? Christ Jesus came to seek sinners. He was down here,—think of it,—did actually walk up and down on this earth—the Perfect One, in the midst of sinners, seeking to win back the hearts of such to Himself. A few only would have Him; others cried "Crucify Him;" the most neglected—with indifference neglected Him, Pilate to wit.
His word of grace was then, and is today, "Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest;" and again, "Him that cometh unto Me I will in no wise cast out." Do you say, "How can I come?" Well, the way to come is very simple, it is just to believe Him,—take Him at His word, and you will prove that He is as good as His word; but again, remember it is written, "How shall we escape if we NEGLECT so great salvation?”
God has a way, not many ways, back to Himself—one only way, the way, Christ Jesus. Hear His words, "I am the way, the truth, and the life." Again I ask you, have you come to God, by God's way—the way Christ Jesus? No other way will do. To refuse God’s way is to refuse your own mercy. He waits to be gracious, but see to it that you neglect not this great salvation. The blessed Son of God did die, in order to make a way back to God for "sinners in disgrace;" and do you think that the death of the Son of His love is a light thing in God’s sight? It is everything. That cross was the place where the question of sin was settled; there that Blessed One, the Lord Jesus, went through all the wrath of God, the hiding of His face, that we might be brought back to God. That death of the Son of His love is God's measure of sin. Blessed be His name, He gave Himself and now "whosoever will" may have everlasting life; mark, it is "whosoever will"—will you? But what if you "neglect"? "There remaineth no more sacrifice for sins." “There is none other name under heaven given among men whereby we must be saved.”
And to you who only of "hoping you are saved," and say "If only I had assurance," let me tell you that it is ever God's mind that His own should know the peace and rest of a present salvation; if you do believe, and yet are a doubting one, the fault lies in yourself. And now what is the hindrance? May be, you are trying to go on with God and the world; if so, no wonder you do not know peace—the enjoyment of God's favor and the love of the world cannot go on together. I speak from experience, for I have tried it. S. S.