Ephesians 5:22-23EPH 5:22-23
“Workers Together”
God has established the relationship of husband and wife for the good of His creatures. Let us look at this subject in the Word for instruction and admonition.
The more we enter into the relationship between Christ and His Church, the more we shall understand this husband-and-wife relationship. In Eph. 5, the conduct of the husband towards his wife is regulated by the relationship in which Christ stands to the Church, and the Church to Christ. There is mischief and danger where only certain portions of the Scriptures are read, because we need the whole truth and all is given for our blessing.
Turn to Gen. 2:18-22, where we are brought back to the very commencement. The Lord God is considering the well-being of the creature He formed. All creatures were brought before Adam, but there was not one found that could be a help meet for him, or that was suitable for him (v. 20). There was not one that could enter into his thoughts and be company for him.
So God proposed and carried into execution that which He proposed, wonderfully coming forward to meet the need of His creature! Adam needed one who could enter into his thoughts, share his mind, and be a companion for him. Certainly a "help meet" is not one who is to do all the drudgery. No, I take it that she is a counterpart.
What we have had so far is the institution of marriage. Let us turn to Gen. 3:17, "Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife." We find here that the greatest gift God bestowed upon His creature became the occasion of his sorrow. Satan seduced Eve. But instead of listening to God, Adam hearkened to the voice of his wife, which he ought not to have done. See also Gen. 16:2: "Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai." Instead of resting upon God for the accomplishment of the promises, he listens to his wife.
In Gen. 21:8-12, we get the other side of it. Sarah had caused the trouble, but now she has the mind of the Lord in this matter. God says to Abraham, "Hearken unto her voice." She had intelligence as to the mind of God this time.
We find another example in Isaac and Rebekah. They did not exactly hit it off too well, as we say; favoritism came in and Rebekah teaches her son to deceive his father.
Now look at Rachel who, unknown to her husband Jacob, stole the gods from her father Laban. Jacob said to his household, "Put away the strange gods that are among you, and be clean." What was the occasion of the purging of this household? Jacob had to do with God. "Arise, go up to Bethel." Gen. 35:1-4. Bethel is the house of God; what would do for us, would not do for God. Earrings, gods, or anything else will fall into its proper place when we have to do with God.
Next turn to Josh. 15:13-19 for a beautiful picture. It is the freshness of a marriage day; the bridegroom had shown himself worthy of the bride. Achsah's father, Caleb, knew that she wanted a warrior for a husband. She moved him to ask for a field (v. 18). She moved him in the right direction. We cannot have too much of God's land. What a beautiful thing for a bride to move her husband on her wedding day. Some might think it was a piece of worldly wisdom in her. No, I believe it was a matter of faith. What was this land? In Deut. 11:8-12 it says it was a land that God had promised: a land that "drinketh water of the rain of heaven," the land for which the Lord God cares, and the eyes of the Lord are always upon it. See what accordance of heart there was in this young woman with her husband? She moved him!
Helpers Together
In Acts 18:2-11 we have a couple whose occupation was to make tents, and because Paul was of the same craft, he abode with them. As he came home from preaching and teaching, they could talk together and pray together about many things.
How blessed! Thank God there is many a scene like it in these days; would that we had more of them. They little thought they were his helpers. Aquila perhaps thought more of providing for his bodily needs, and no doubt the couple prayed for him (Rom. 16:3,4).
In verses 25 and 26 of Acts 18, it is very interesting that Aquila and Priscilla see how little Apollos had learned, but instead of criticizing him, they ask him to their home and help him. They are in agreement in it too. The wife does not say, "Do not ask him to our home." What benefit the churches received by the help of these two. And there is still more: "Greet the church that is in their house." How sweet and blessed!
The Word of God and Prayer
In 1 Peter 3:1-7 we get two things brought together: the Word of God and prayer. The wives are addressed first, and it is so plain that I need not remark on it. In 1 Tim. 2, men were to pray everywhere (vv. 8-13). There is the order in the Church of God. The characteristic of men was prayer (1 Peter 3:7), and the characteristic of women was their dress. It is all plain enough. The apostle of the Gentiles speaks of it, and now the apostle of the circumcision.
Why do people adorn themselves? For others to look at? Is that your ideal? What are they in the eyes of God? God looks for adornment, which is of great price in the eyes of God. But let it be the adornment of the hidden man of the heart, expressed in a meek and quiet spirit. The covering of the head (1 Cor. 11) is "because of the angels," for they behold God's order in the Church.
In 1 Peter 3:7 we get a word for husbands: "Giving honor unto the wife. (Notice the words "giving honor," not "crushing.") Why? Because she is the weaker vessel, that is, as to nature. But there is more than that, "as being heirs together of the grace of life." What is the result? "That your prayers be not hindered." Where there is that giving honor, that care, and solicitude, there is nothing but harmony, for "no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it.”
The husband should care for the well-being of the wife in every detail, and care for her soul too. Where there is this care, you can go together on your knees—there is no chafing of spirit, but "heirs together." There is much more blessing when this relationship is controlled by the Word of God.
I might add another thing according to the wonderfully blessed importance of 1 Peter 3 as to wives. Even when a husband does not obey the Word of God, he may be won by her walk. Then comes the adornment of a meek and quiet spirit.
What a difference there is between a godly woman and one who is going on with the world! In fine weather you don't see it perhaps, but let the storms and trials come, and they are not "afraid with any amazement." Why? The godly woman does not fear, because she knows a power which is above it all. Then in verse 7, they both pray for their children.
What a blessing to see husband and wife together in the place of dependence and strength. There may be plenty of difficulties. Surely there are, but how are you to meet them and how are you to handle them unless you are seeking His grace.
"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord." Col. 3:18. It is a fitting thing for a wife, even for an unconverted wife, to be in subjection to her husband. In Eph. 5:24 it says, "as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." Then there is another side: "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it.”
Children
Now just a word with regard to the children. They look at the parents and they see their father loving his wife as Christ loved the Church, and their mother subject to her husband as the Church to Christ. For children to grow up with this before them is a lovely thing.
There is one word in both Ephesians and Colossians for the children, and that is obedience. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right." "Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord.”
And now "fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Eph. 6:4. The greatest friend of a child is his father, both in Christianity or in nature. It is a lovely and blessed thing that there should be confidence between the child and his father. A child is quick to discern if anything discordant comes in. It interferes with this confidence and prevents the father from being the receptacle for the child's cares and sorrows.
So we have the love of the husband, the subjection of the wife, and the obedience of the children. May the Lord lead us more and more into a true sense of what our responsibility is as to these things, for His name's sake.