MRS. W. was very young, only twenty-three years of age, yet dying of consumption. When first I visited her she was in her little kitchen, sitting propped up by the fire; but it was plainly visible that the terrible disease was fast doing its work, and that she had not long to live.
I asked her, should she die, what had she to rest on? did she know the Lord Jesus Christ as her Saviour “Well,” she replied, “God is very merciful, and since I have been ill I haven’t used any bad words; and yesterday the clergyman came to see me, and he told me that, as I had been baptized and confirmed, he would give me the sacrament, and then I should be all right, and need not fear.”
I asked her if she remembered for how many sins God turned Adam out of the garden of Eden?
“Oh! yes” she said, “that takes me back to my Sunday-school days; one sin.”
“And that was?”
“Disobedience.”
“Have you ever disobeyed God?”
“Oh! yes, I have many times.”
“Well then, supposing we say you have committed one sin every day of your life.”
“Yes,” she said, “and lots more than that.”
“Well, one a day would be 365 in a year. How old are you?”
“Just twenty-three.”
“Now multiply 365 by 23, that makes 8,395. If God turned Adam out of an earthly paradise for one sin, how are you going to stand before a holy God with, to say the very least, 8,395 sins upon you? God is a merciful God, and He has shown His great mercy and wondrous love in sending His own beloved Son to take upon Himself your sins, and to die for you; but God is righteous, and God is just, and if you despise His grace, there is no other way of salvation for you.”
I then read Romans 3 from verse 9, showing how God has concluded and proved both Jew and Gentile to be all under sin, as it is written, “There is none righteous, no, not one.” With these words I left her, promising to see her soon again, but for three days was hindered from going.
On the third day she sent one of her little children to ask if I would come and see her, she was so miserable.
With a thankful heart I heard this, feeling that God had indeed begun a work in her soul, and that He would finish it to His own glory. Earnestly looking to Him that I might be no hindrance to His own divine work, I went with the little girl to see the poor mother. She was a fair, pretty woman; and as I went into the room, her face was much flushed, and her large gray eyes looked earnestly towards me, as though I could give her peace. My heart ached for her, and again I cried to Him who hath said, “Him that cometh unto me, I will in no wise cast out.”
Opening my Bible I read John 3:16,16For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (John 3:16) and sought in a few simple words to put before her that the same One who had concluded all under sin, had provided a way of escape, and a righteous ground upon which the sinner could stand before God a saved and justified person, through the death of His beloved Son. I pressed the fact that it was God’s love that gave nothing less than His own beloved Son. Mrs. W. heard, and received the word, and again I left her.
The next day, ongoing into the room, it was a very troubled face that met my gaze, and she said so sorrowfully, “I have lost it all. I thought I had believed, and felt at rest about it yesterday; but I got in a temper this morning, and it has all gone. I am so miserable.” Poor woman, she was looking in at herself, instead of to Christ and His finished work, and Satan was taking advantage of her failure to fill her heart with doubts and fears.
I asked her, if Christ’s work was enough for her yesterday why it was not for today. “Oh!” she said, “I can’t feel it, and I want to.”
I took a shilling from my pocket, and said, “You need a little extra milk, will you buy some with this?”
“Oh! thank you very much,” she said, “I will be so glad of it.”
“Do you believe it is yours?” I continued.
“Oh! yes,” she said; “I have no need to doubt your word.”
“But you cannot feel the shilling, for it is in my hand.”
“Yes, I thought I did.”
“Well, the Lord Jesus says of His sheep, ‘I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.’ Now, you are in His hand. This shilling is in my hand, it is yours, and you believe it though you cannot feel it.
“The Lord Jesus says in John 5, ‘He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life.”
She interrupted me with, “Yes, I do believe God sent His own Son to save me.”
“Well then, that is all your part. Now this is God’s part, and He says hath―that is, you have, not may have, if you hold fast, but ‘hath everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but is passed from death unto life.’ Now we will go back to John 10, and see you there held fast in His hand, for He says, ‘My Father which gave them me is greater than all, and no man is able to pluck out of my Father’s hand: I and my Father are one.’
“Now, you believe this shilling is yours while held fast in my hand-do you believe your life, the new life He has given you, is held fast in His hand? Why should you doubt His word, the living God, and you do not doubt mine, a poor, failing, fellow-creature?”
“Oh!” she said, “I see it now. I haven’t to hold on; but Christ holds on to me, and He will never let me go.”
From this time she gradually grew weaker. I went to see her every day, and she was always so glad to have just a verse or two from God’s precious Word, as she could bear it read to her, and always wanted to be prayed with. To every one of her neighbors who came in she used to speak of Jesus.
One Sunday afternoon I went to see her I found her room fairly full of people, and, like a coward, I thought, “I can’t read before all these people;” so, after a few inquiries about her health, I was leaving her, when she roused up, and said, “You haven’t read a word! oh! won’t you read to me? All last night, when the cough was so bad, these words you had read to me, ‘For he hath said, I will never leave thee nor forsake thee,’ came over and over again to me, and they were such a comfort.”
I felt the rebuke, and, looking to the Lord to enable me to forget myself and be His messenger alone, I read and prayed with her. Some of those in the room seemed interested, and I felt thankful the Lord had prevented me from leaving that room without giving His message.
On the Sunday following I went, thinking to see her as usual; but on nearing the house I saw all the blinds were lowered, and found she had passed away about ten minutes before.
Her husband’s mother asked her, a few minutes before, was it all right with her. She looked up, and said, “Yes, I am quite safe, for it is the precious blood of Christ I rest on; I cannot doubt that.” And turning to those in the room she besought them to come to Jesus at once, and then passed away to be with Christ, “which is far better.” E. L. C.