Family relationships were instituted by God in Eden and confirmed after the fall. Christianity does not change their outward character, but infuses into them new and divine principles. The husband is the responsible head of the house, and the mutual obligation subsisting between him and his wife, his children and his servants is the subject of the portion now before us. The question is not one of rights on either side, but rather of the way in which each, as having the life of Christ, should exhibit this in his conduct toward the other.
The Wife
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything” (Eph. 5:22-2422Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. (Ephesians 5:22‑24)). Part of the curse pronounced on the woman at the fall was, “Thy desire shall be [subject] to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee” (Gen. 3:1616Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. (Genesis 3:16)). Christianity confirms this order, but so remodels it that all trace of the curse disappears. The subjection of the believer to the Lord, or of the church to Christ, is no curse or bondage, and these are now the models of wifely subjection, for she is to be subject to her own husband, “as unto the Lord,” and as “the church is subject unto Christ.” How beautiful to see a human relationship, and one too which derives a part of its character from the fall, thus transformed into a type of the mystery in which God displays His “manifold wisdom” unto “the principalities and powers in heavenly places.”
The Husband
The subject is expanded in dealing with the other side. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it; that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that He might present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish” (vss. 25-27). Here, though natural affection is owned, a far higher order of love is brought in, so that the earthly relationship is re-cast, as it were, in a heavenly mold. The past, present and future love of Christ to the church is all made to bear on the duty of the husband to his wife. And how beautiful the unfolding of this love is! Christ loved the church — not only saints, but the church — and gave Himself for it. It was the “pearl of great price” for which He sold all that He had. Now He watches over it, cleansing it from defilement by the application of His Word. Soon He will present it to Himself in His own beauty, “prepared as a bride adorned for her husband,” the object of His own eternal delight.
The Order of Creation
And here the order of creation is brought in and made to blend, as it were, with that love of Christ of which it furnishes so beautiful a type. “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: for we are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh” (vss. 28-31).
The peculiar mode of Eve’s creation out of Adam both gives marriage a special sanctity, so that the wife is to be cherished as a part of the husband’s own being, and furnishes an exquisite type of Christ’s relationship with the church. As Adam was not complete without Eve, so Christ, though Head over all, is not complete without the church, “the fullness of Him that filleth all in all.” As Adam fell into a deep sleep, so Christ went into death. As Eve was formed out of Adam, so the church is quickened with Christ and has His own life. As Adam acknowledged Eve to be bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh, so does Christ acknowledge the church. As Adam was bound to care for and cleave to the woman thus formed out of himself, so Christ delights in nourishing and cherishing the church which is His own body. How wonderfully all that belongs to this divinely instituted relationship is raised by being thus linked up with the tender, watchful love of Christ over the church!
The Order in the New Testament
This, of course, is the grand subject, and therefore the Apostle writes, “This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.” Still the relationship of husband and wife is also in his view; so he adds, “Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband” (vss. 32-33). Though the believer is not promised his portion in this life, yet he is told that “godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come” (1 Tim. 4:8). We have an illustration here. Who cannot see the happiness that would reign in the house where the relationship of husband and wife was formed on the godly model here furnished!
T. B. Baines