This character ought to be true of all believers, but it too is particularly associated with wives. In order to qualify for the position of deacon, a man must have a wife who is faithful in all things (1 Timothy 3:11). This is a large order and surely covers many aspects of the wife’s life that are too numerous to name. It seems to imply, among many things, special thought to avoid in any way bringing dishonor to the Lord: special care in bringing her children up for the Lord, special energy in serving the Lord, special concern only to speak truthfully of the Lord’s people, special efforts to live soberly, gravely and discreetly before the eyes of a watching world.
The wife of Proverbs 31 seems to be one who was faithful in all things. Again she is not a specific person but personifies a wife who knows her place in the family which is functioning according to Scripture. She is faithful in all things: to her husband (verses 11,12,23,28), to her children (verses 15,21,27,28), to her maidens (verse 15), to the poor and needy (verse 20), in her work concerning her household (verses 13-24,27), and in her manner of dress and talk (verses 25,26).
In this age when men are failing to play their role in the family as they should, and women attempting to “liberate” themselves from their proper role, wives are heard to complain that they are only known by who their husbands are and by what they achieve. How different it is in the family where the wife plays her proper role. Because of his wife “the husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.” Proverbs 31:2323Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. (Proverbs 31:23). Because of his wife’s virtues, he praises and honors her, and her children, instead of rebelling as is so often the case today, arise up and bless her. What harmony and happiness exist in the family where there is the desire to maintain order in the family according to the Word of God.
In the beginning God not only created the world, but He established an order by which it would run smoothly. Each part or entity was distinctly defined and each given its own unique rule. This is true in each domain — the physical, the plant, the animal, and the human. It is with the latter that this booklet is concerned.
The Scriptures teach that God in His wisdom chose to divide the human domain, as He did some of the others, into male and female segments. Likewise the Scriptures set forth the order: namely, that man was created first and the woman was then created to be his helper. God’s order never changes. James, an early servant of God, was inspired to write, “The Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.” James 1: 17. Here we have divine authority for maintaining an order exactly as God set it up.
The writer does not expect the contents of this pamphlet to win the approval of non-Christians. One of the earliest recorded characteristics of the human nature is the tendency to corruption (see Genesis 6:11,1211The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence. 12And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth. (Genesis 6:11‑12)). It is, therefore, consistent with the nature of unregenerate men and women that the order which God established should be corrupted. Not to our surprise, men and women are denying the distinctions that God has made between them and are simultaneously defining roles for themselves which God never gave to them.
The writer does pray that this booklet may be used in blessing to believers in the Lord Jesus Christ. For though we have new birth, a nature that responds to God’s order, we have within us the old nature that still has all the tendencies it had before our conversion. In addition, we live in a non-Christian atmosphere. The corrupted practices of this environment defile us and influence our thinking. For this reason Paul warned us, “Be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God.” Romans 12:22And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. (Romans 12:2). If we wish for anything less than “that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God” in the matter of male-female order, surely we are being conformed to the world. If we continue to ignore God’s direction and order, this will lead us to be part of the corrupted order that this world is establishing. In the beginning God established an order that He could bless: “Male and female created He them; and blessed them.” Genesis 5:22Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created. (Genesis 5:2). How sad to deny ourselves and our families this blessing.
The subject is approached with considerable trepidation. It is not so much the fear of going against the current of modern thought that gives apprehension, but rather the dread of polarizing and dividing Christians by the mention of the subject. Our fellowship and basis for worshiping together are founded on simple but marvelous truths relative to the person and work of our Lord Jesus Christ. Yet it is only too often that division occurs and true fellowship is broken by disagreement on much less fundamental issues. Surely if our wish is simply to comply with His will rather than to support our own traditions or current life-styles, we can benefit from an examination of what the Scriptures say concerning the role of the man and the woman in God’s order for the Christian family.