“I have a present for my little boy,” thought mother, “but now I must buy a present for each one, or they will think I don’t love them.”
This may seem to be a nice thought, for our children must feel loved, every one equally. But it may be a wrong thought, just to escape family envy. Envy can certainly build up over the years. Let’s face it now.
You remember when Gideon won a great victory over the Midianites in Judges 7, with three hundred men whose faithful obedience sent the terrified enemy fleeing in all directions and fighting one another. Then Gideon sent messengers to Ephraim, “Come down against Midian”; and they came, catching the fugitives at the waters of Jordan, killing the two enemy leaders, thus sharing the great victory.
Then the men of Ephraim said to Gideon, “Why didn’t you call us when you first went to fight?” and they disputed sharply. Do you recognize this? It’s that ugly emotion called envy. We wanted to share the whole victory, not just the tail end! We wanted the satisfaction and the applause for the whole thing. That was the root of the sharp dispute.
Now what could Gideon do? He spoke well of their efforts. “What was I able to do in comparison of you?” he said. He praised them for their share in the victory, and their spirit was appeased. The praise comforted them, and the quarrel was over. But the envious spirit that started the quarrel was not judged.
Do you see? You may smooth out the problem and restore harmony in the family, but it will not judge the root. It was God’s decision that Gideon should fight first, without calling helpers. You and I need to learn to submit to God’s decision even if it puts us in a lower place. In the measure in which we have accepted this, we can also teach it to our children.
The men of Ephraim had a similar quarrel with Jephthah in chapter 12. “Why didn’t you call us to the battle?” But Jephthah did not have a kind answer. He caught them as they were crossing the fords of Jordan, and killed 42,000 Ephraimites! The envy which was smoothed over but unjudged in chapter 7 caused a huge slaughter in chapter 12.
How shall we mothers judge envy? First I think we have to judge ourselves and be content with whatever place the Lord has given to us. Then we must teach our children that we are members of the body of Christ, and God is never mistaken in His choice. Whether it’s a prominent place or hidden place, rewarded now or rewarded later, let us accept with thankfulness and joy whatever place He gives to us. God is always right!