I heard them long before I saw them. As I was walking on the tree-lined bike path near our home, the quiet serenity of the late morning spring day was abruptly interrupted by a child’s loud wails. Between those wails, cries for “mommy” could be heard, along with the muffled response of an adult’s voice. I rounded a bend in the path and they came into view—three adults evenly spaced at the front, middle and end of a line of fifteen or more preschool children.
These little children (none looked older than four or five)—“residents” of one of several day-care facilities in our town—were on a walk with the adults who were hired to care for them. Except for talking among some of the children, there was little conversation—the adults speaking only when it seemed necessary to give orders to the children.
One little child at the very end of the line—evidently the source of the loud wailing—was the picture of abject misery. He kept trying to pull away from the adult holding his hand. Both appeared equally unhappy with each other.
Walking by the first worker I smiled and said, “Hello”—receiving in return an unsmiling, silent nod. The second worker—also silent—did manage a faint smile. The last, still busily occupied with the unhappy little boy did not even look up.
This experience suggested to me some stark realities connected with the issue of working mothers—those who are engaged in full-time employment that takes them outside the home, away from their family. Though there are many other considerations, let us ponder three of these realities.
Constant Access
The first reality is that a child desperately needs daily, constant contact with its mother’s nurturing love and care.
A working mother is often unavailable to her children. She can’t provide nurturing and love when her child may need it most. Five days a week, eight or more hours each day, the children I met on the trail were denied vital access to their mothers.
A mother working within the sphere of home and family is always accessible to her children. The divine pattern is found in Hebrews 4:1616Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:16). We enjoy constant, unchanging access into the presence of our God. Why should Christian parents be satisfied with a lower standard for their children?
Day-Care Workers Can’t Be Substitute Moms
The second reality is that an adult whose chief concern is earning a living working as a day-care provider for others’ children is a poor alternative for a nursing mother. No matter how diligently they may carry out their duties or how much they may love children, they cannot fill the place the child’s own mother should have.
A “P.S.” for Mothering Isn’t Possible
The third reality is that a mother has but few years to mother her children. (The same may be said for a father.) All too quickly children are grown, leave home, and with them forever goes the priceless privilege and opportunity of mothering.
Communism and Consumerism
Forty years ago, when I was a teenager, the Cold War between democracy and communism was at its height. I remember hearing warnings that communism was making a dead set to destroy the traditional home and family values of Western cultures.
Free-world societies were quick to criticize a political system in which the state removed children from their parents and their homes and placed them in government-run nurseries and day-care centers. The evident objects of these actions were twofold: (1) indoctrination and (2) enabling both father and mother to become full-time laborers in the workplace! The sad result was that the communist state became a surrogate parent for each child.
Lenin (one of the originators of communism) was reported to have said, “Give me your child for its first five years and then you can have it back—I’ll have made it a communist for life.” If an atheist politician understood the value of the early years of a child’s life, how is it that so many working mothers don’t?
Now—when communism is no longer an active threat—we wonder, “Who or what is it in our world today that denies children (such as were on the bike trail) the daily nurturing, loving care of their mothers?
The answer, to our sorrow and shame, is that the god of consumerism has captured the heart of man. Satan has used that idol to successfully accomplish what communism failed to do—the separation of mothers from their infants and little children.
Molech and Materialism
That this unspeakably horrible sacrifice of young children to the Ammonite fire god took place among God’s chosen people is unthinkable, except that we find it recorded in the Bible for our learning and warning.
We recoil from such cruel indifference which could throw helpless little ones into Molech’s sacrificial fires. Yet today we see the same indifference towards the children who are morally offered to the god of consumerism.
Oh! dear parents—and we especially address our comments to the beloved mothers who are to guide the house—do not allow your hearts to become hardened by the covetousness and lusts of this present evil world (Gal. 1:44Who gave himself for our sins, that he might deliver us from this present evil world, according to the will of God and our Father: (Galatians 1:4))! Far better to sacrifice your ability to purchase more “stuff” than to sacrifice your precious lambs by following the godless philosophy of self-seeking materialism.
Other realities, however, ought to be considered in order to give balance to the foregoing comments, for we are to have “an understanding of the times” (1 Chron. 12:3232And of the children of Issachar, which were men that had understanding of the times, to know what Israel ought to do; the heads of them were two hundred; and all their brethren were at their commandment. (1 Chronicles 12:32)) and the times we live in present many complicated family situations. A man-made set of rules for guidance will ever be found wanting.
Consider, for example, the astronomical rise of single-parent families in so-called Christian lands. Because he or she must earn a living, a single Christian parent may be unable to spend all the time they would desire with their children. How comforting to realize that our Father, who knows perfectly each situation, “giveth more grace” (James 4:66But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. (James 4:6)). A parent found in such abnormal circumstances can still walk to His glory, expecting the Lord’s blessing.
God also promises the needed wisdom for every occasion of life and gives it without rebuke (James 1:55If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. (James 1:5)). Let us walk in close fellowship with Him who is perfect in love, tenderness and compassion.
There are, no doubt, many other family situations, such as illness, unexpected debt, rapidly changing demands in the job market, and schooling or retraining needs, that directly bear on children and day-care issues. But in all these things, the One who declares the end from the beginning (Isa. 46:1010Declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times the things that are not yet done, saying, My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure: (Isaiah 46:10)) is ever our wonderful, never-failing resource.
A Mother’s Work: Difficult and Demanding
A godly mother who remains at home, raising her children for the Lord’s glory, will have accomplished a work of far greater difficulty, needing far greater ability and skill, than any other profession. Though mothering is without equal in its complexity, challenges and demands, a God-fearing mother, acting in faith and obedience, will find the needed supply of grace and wisdom to do it well.
Ed.