"I commend unto you Phebe our sister, which is a servant of the church.... She hath been a succorer of many, and of myself” (Rom. 16:12).
The culture of our day has terribly blurred and corrupted the God-given roles of men and women, causing great confusion concerning these spheres. One area of enormous perplexity in the twenty-first century regards dear sisters in Christ especially those who are younger and, as yet, unmarried. How ought they to live, work and serve the Lord in a seemly and God-honoring manner?
It is a comfort to know that the precious Word of God is ever the divinely perfect “lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path” (Psa. 119:105). Our blessed God never changes (Mal. 3:6); His Word remains fixed and settled forever (Psa. 119:89; Mark 13:31). Thus we may find, even in the gross moral darkness and confusion of this day, unchanging, clear instructions and principles for our beloved sisters who desire to be guided by and obey God’s Word.
Let’s consider a few guiding principles found in the Word for any who desire that abundant, happy life He has promised (John 13:17; 2 Peter 1:10-11).
Sisters Building
We read in Proverbs 14:1 (JND) that “the wisdom of women buildeth their house.” God has provided both a special intelligence for the woman (wisdom He has not given to the man) and a sphere in which she is to use it, that she might be a “builder” of a place of “safety” and “fruitfulness.” What a God-fearing woman “builds,” using the divine intelligence provided, she is then to “rule” over (though not in a spirit insubmissive to her head; 1 Cor. 11:3).
In 1 Timothy 5:14 Paul tells Timothy that the younger women are to “guide the house.” In the JND translation this is rendered “rule the house.” Feministic philosophy pushes the woman into a place of leading, building and ruling in the world, a sphere that God has never intended she occupy. But He has given both special intelligence as well as implicit authority to the woman to build and rule within the sphere of the house. Men husbands, fathers, brethren do well to understand this wisdom, its proper sphere and diligently encourage our beloved sisters to seek to occupy themselves there.
Sisters Working
Younger sisters, perhaps while waiting for a life’s companion, are rightly concerned about the profitable occupation of their time. Twenty-first century Western culture is far different from the rural, small-town environment and culture of the early to mid-twentieth century. Society has changed drastically, and many seemly occupations that were available to dear sisters fifty or more years ago no longer exist today.
Thus, having finished high school, are they to proceed to college for further education, find a job and save money towards the time they will be married, or stay within the shelter of their father’s home undertaking domestic chores until marriage? There is not one answer which applies in all cases. Each circumstance is unique, requiring personal communion with the Lord to know His will. There are, however, some very helpful examples found in Scripture which provide vital moral principles by which dear sisters may find guidance.
Rebekah
In Genesis 24:15-28 we meet Rebekah who was, we may say, engaged in helping with domestic duties while living at home she had gone to the well to draw water. Her eager spirit of willing hospitality is commendable and worth noting, for even in her father’s house she interacted with strangers outside. It is good for a sister to know how to interact with the public in godly purity, even though she remains living and working within her father’s house.
Rachel
In Genesis 29:9 we find another young woman engaged in work. But this labor required her to carry it on outside her father’s home, though it was still her father’s business. Shepherding would normally be considered men’s work, but Rachel was occupied in it, for she kept her father’s sheep. She lived at home but worked outside the domestic circle, and it was there (outside) she met her future husband. How important for sisters who work outside the home to seek work that is seemly in nature one they can carry on in good conscience and purity.
The Daughters of Midian
In Exodus 2:16 we find a similar situation to that which occupied Rachel. But there were problems added strife and contention were evidently a daily part of the work of the priest of Midian’s seven daughters. Their labor was taken advantage of by the other shepherds who were stronger. It is good to remember that in the world of work and careers, sisters will have to face the daily reality of competition, strife and jealousy from co-workers. These girls’ father was surprised when they returned home early from their job. They explained that a man (an “Egyptian”) had risen to defend and help them.
From this example, dear sisters can learn the vital importance of seeking fellowship with other believers where they work, while not giving in to the tendency to fight and push for supremacy at a job. In the workplace where a demanding, forceful spirit is admired and encouraged, a sister’s meek and quiet spirit, looking to the Lord Jesus for her care and protection at all times, is absolutely critical.
Ruth
Though other examples exist, we will finish with Ruth. Here we find a young woman whose circumstances seemed hopeless a Moabitess seeking the care and blessing of Israel’s God.
Living with her mother-in-law, Naomi, she had to work outside her home to provide support. Circumstances caused her to leave the retirement and safety of Naomi’s house in order to find a place in the fields to glean food. Her industrious nature was noted by Boaz, and she was well rewarded for her diligent labor, eventually becoming his wife.
But she had some important lessons to learn as she worked with his young men and maidens moral principles that evidently were not a normal part of the Moabite culture and society she had left.
Boaz told her to “abide here fast by my maidens” (Ruth 2:8). Ruth obeyed, reaping a plentiful harvest for her mother-in-law and herself. When Naomi asked where she had worked, Ruth told her she had been in Boaz’s field, adding that he had said, “Thou shalt keep fast by my young men, until they have ended all my harvest” (Ruth 2:21). But that was wrong. Boaz had told her to stay by his maidens, not his young men. He well knew the moral danger that existed when young men and young women freely mixed together in the workplace.
Dear Naomi immediately caught Ruth’s mistake and told her, “It is good, my daughter, that thou go out with his maidens, that they meet thee not in any other field” (Ruth 2:22). How necessary, if a sister is employed in a secular workplace, that she carefully avoid mixing with the young men that she not become morally defiled by the ways and actions of the world in which she works.
Remember too that when Jacob’s daughter Dinah “went out to see the daughters of the land” (Gen. 34:1), she went to find social fellowship (something a Christian should never seek in this world). In doing so she was quickly, morally defiled. May God grant moral steadfastness and purpose of heart to our dear sisters who are considering what kind of work to do and where to carry on that labor.
Sisters Teaching
The last thing we would notice is the place sisters have in teaching and ministering. The Word of God gives very clear instructions concerning the role of women in these areas. While it is abundantly clear that the assembly is not the place where a sister may publicly teach (1 Cor. 14:34), there are examples found in Scripture of sisters who taught and ministered in appropriate realms, honoring God and being used in great blessing.
A Virtuous Woman
Teaching Proverbs 31 is often given as a lovely example of a godly, virtuous woman. In verses 10-25 she is engaged, we may say, in doing. Then in verse 26 we read, “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.” Thus, we have a virtuous woman a wife who teaches with actions, then words. Her words aren’t out of place or unseemly, but they complement her actions, and thus wives and mothers can be encouraged to have liberty in teaching their households.
A Mother and Prophetess Exhorting
In a day of great spiritual decline, God may use a woman in a special way though it be a sign of weakness. He did this with Deborah (see Judges 4). In spite of the spiritual lethargy of those days, Deborah’s actions are morally beautiful, perfectly suited to the condition of the people of God.
(1) She stayed under the palm tree, the people coming to her dwelling-place for judgment. (2) She called Barak to her, giving him a command. But that command was only an exhortation to do what Jehovah had already commanded him. (3) When pressed by Barak to accompany him, she does so, but not to wage battle. Rather she lends quiet support to one weak in faith. (4) She leads Barak in singing a song of victory but takes her proper place which God had given her “a mother in Israel.” In great spiritual weakness, such as we experience today, how vital the ministry words and acts of godly sisters who possess the nurturing heart of spiritual mothers!
A Wife Teaching
Priscilla is a wonderful New Testament example of a godly sister who helped in the teaching of a brother, doing so in an appropriate way in union with and in subjection to her husband. We read in Acts 18:26 that when Apollos mighty in Scripture and eloquent in delivery “began to speak boldly in the synagogue,” then “Aquila and Priscilla... took him unto them, and expounded unto him the way of God more perfectly.” How nice to see this dear couple’s united desire to be a blessing together as they helped explain the Scriptures to Apollos.
Daughters Who Prophesied
The evangelist Philip had “four daughters, virgins, which did prophesy” (Acts 21:9). Though none of them was used to warn the Apostle Paul (see verses 10-11), they did evidently prophesy while Paul’s company stayed in their father’s home (vs. 10). Where godly order, purity and seemliness exist, sisters can minister the mind of God in blessing.
Older Sisters Teaching
In closing we would note the instructions given in Titus 2:3-5 to older sisters: “The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” As with the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31, we see the importance of the example the older sisters set by their lives before their words can have effect.
Today there is a desperate need for godly, older sisters (spiritual mothers) to teach younger sisters first by example and then by words. The twenty-first-century world in which we live has no godly, moral, Biblical instruction to offer our beloved young sisters. Oh! that there may be mothers in Israel who will lovingly reach out to them as teachers of good things. What an important work, what a vital role such sisters can provide in ministering as nurturing mothers! May our beloved older sisters be exercised and encouraged to such an important ministry.
Ed.