A young man was recently reminiscing about his childhood. He mentioned that the most vivid memory of his boyhood was his father’s love of golf. It was a constant topic of discussion in their home, during times of work, play and at the family dinner table. His father’s great joy and excitement was to enthusiastically recount, with obvious delight, the details of his most recent game. Nothing else in life seemed to have so captured his father’s heart as had golf—the one great pleasure of his life.
It wasn’t surprising to find that because of this influence, even before he went to junior high school, the young man had also become captivated by the game. By his own admission, since his boyhood—like his father—golf has been his one, sole passion. His friendships are determined and guided by an individual’s interest in golf. Family and career considerations—every relationship of life—are ultimately controlled by this one overriding obsession. The father’s love of the game has had its clear and lifelong impact on the son.
While making no judgments concerning the value of such activities, we do find the mind of God plainly expressed regarding spiritual things and natural things: “Bodily exercise is profitable for a little, but piety is profitable for everything” (1 Tim. 4:88For bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come. (1 Timothy 4:8) JND). How important to keep such things in their proper balance in our lives!
But of much greater significance in this little account is that Christian fathers (and mothers too!) might be enabled to understand the powerful, lifelong influences which parental joys, interests and activities have on their own beloved children.
We often hear it said that actions speak louder than words. How true! Fathers and mothers whose hearts are captivated by things of this passing world cannot hide the true spring of their delight from their children’s eyes. The Lord Jesus said that it would be out of the belly that rivers of living water should flow (John 7:3838He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water. (John 7:38)).
And, too, He has told us that it is out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks (Matt. 12:3434O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. (Matthew 12:34)). Earlier the Lord told His disciples that “where your treasure is, there will your heart be also” (Matt. 6:2121For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. (Matthew 6:21)). Well may we ask, What and where is our treasure?
Sometimes parents wonder (and rightly so) what the key is to leading their beloved children into a deep, abiding joy in Christ, a love of the assembly and of seeing them preserved from drifting into the world. By way of answering this vitally important question, we would ask, What is the deep, abiding joy of your heart and life? What really causes you excitement and delight, dear dad and mom?
Is some passing hobby, some recreation, or some particular career that in which your heart is presently finding its pleasure? Then prepare to see your children taken up with such things, too—rather than the joy of the Lord. Make no mistake, even faithful attendance at assembly meetings each week—important as that is—cannot compete for your children’s attention with the daily display you give them of what really captivates your heart.
It should not be surprising, if parents rarely give expression, verbally or by action, of their personal joy in the Lord (Rom. 5:1111And not only so, but we also joy in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom we have now received the atonement. (Romans 5:11)), that their children show little or no interest in the Lord, His Word or His assembly. How sad! Oh dear fathers and mothers! Can you, by word and by action, say in truth to your beloved children that Jesus is to your heart chiefest among ten thousand—that to you He is altogether lovely (Song of Sol. 5:10,1610My beloved is white and ruddy, the chiefest among ten thousand. (Song of Solomon 5:10)
16His mouth is most sweet: yea, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem. (Song of Solomon 5:16))?
How often have we read the yearnings of the bride in Solomon’s Song: “Draw me, we will run after thee” (Song of Sol. 1:44Draw me, we will run after thee: the king hath brought me into his chambers: we will be glad and rejoice in thee, we will remember thy love more than wine: the upright love thee. (Song of Solomon 1:4)). May it be so with ourselves and our beloved children—parents’ hearts individually drawn in love and delight to the Lord Jesus, and then the dear lambs following after them, seeking that same divine Source of satisfaction and joy.
In Proverbs 22:66Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6) parents are admonished to train up a child in the way he should go so that, when he is old, he will not depart from the path of faith. The key to success in the spiritual training of our children is found just a few verses later (Prov. 23:2626My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways. (Proverbs 23:26)): “My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.”
Oh! that our hearts may be so attracted to and filled with Christ that our joy in the Lord captures the hearts and eyes of our children!
Ed.