Gary, a middle-aged man, recounted that when in seventh grade he was very shy, awkward and virtually friendless. He often looked with yearning at Rod, a tall, popular ninth grader who, excelling in studies and sports, was the leader of the most popular group of students. Rod never paid attention to Gary—never, that is, until shortly before the school election for student body president.
Gary remembered how surprised and pleased he felt when Rod stopped in the hall one day and made a special attempt to talk with him. He wanted to know how he was doing, how he liked his teachers, seeming to display genuine interest in him. For the next several days Rod showed that same friendly interest, patting him on the back, talking with him, and even including him in his circle of friends. How important, happy and accepted Gary felt!
And, of course, on the day of the election, there was no doubt in Gary’s mind who should be student body president. He voted for his new “friend,” Rod.
And in doing so he learned a painful lesson.
After Rod was elected president of the student body, he seemed to have forgotten about Gary. He never again spoke to him or showed the slightest interest in him. Rod was no longer Gary’s “friend.”
The world promotes friendship as something to be much desired yet knows little of its true meaning.
Real Friends Don’t Compromise
Scripture gives many accounts, warnings and instructions concerning the subject of friends. Some were true friends who brought blessing and comfort to their companions. Others acted like friends, but brought unhappiness, disaster and even death. May we all (especially dear parents of young children) take careful heed in these last, dark days to the Bible’s divine principles concerning “friends.”
The world, promoting tolerance as a mark of true friendship, assumes that Christians ought to show love and acceptance even of that which God calls abomination. Its goal is that the divine, unchanging principles of God’s infallible Word be disregarded—denied by any who would be its friend.
How solemnly the Bible warns of friends and friendships with those who might bring spiritual or natural disaster to believers’ faith, families and lives.
Subtle, Deadly Friends
In 2 Samuel 13 we read of the sin Amnon, a son of King David, committed against his half-sister Tamar. Though indeed guilty of that wickedness, there is a chilling note in his history which shows how he was encouraged into that sin: “Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab... a very subtle man” (2 Sam. 13:33But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David's brother: and Jonadab was a very subtile man. (2 Samuel 13:3)). Amnon accepted his “friend’s” deceitful, subtle advice to indulge that sin advice that cost the weak-willed young man his honor and his life.
Too Many Friends
There is also a very interesting and solemn verse found in Proverbs 18:2424A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24). “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. ” This verse might seem as though it is encouraging Christians to gain many friends. But a better translation gives a solemn warning which all (especially parents, as they raise their children) do well to heed: “A man of many friends will come to ruin but there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother” (JND).
The world’s great emphasis on true friendship as being totally accepting and non-judgmental sounds good and reasonable. But without God’s divine light and guidance, it is a terrible, deadly philosophy. The book which gives heavenly wisdom for our earthly pathway clearly warns of the ruinous results of “having many friends.” The danger is that in order to have “many friends” a Christian will be required to compromise His obedience to the Word of God.
For parents it is especially important to teach children the Biblical character of true friendship, being careful to not instill in them a desire for popularity. Children need loving, tender dispositions and wisdom in choosing their friends. Let us follow for ourselves and teach our dear children the divine key to having happy friendships and faithful friends. “I am a companion of all them that fear Thee, and of them that keep Thy precepts” (Psa. 119:6363I am a companion of all them that fear thee, and of them that keep thy precepts. (Psalm 119:63)).
Faithful Friendship
A friend worth having does not demand as a condition of friendship the acceptance of what dishonors the Lord. A true, godly friend will have the moral courage to rebuke disobedience in another. The blessed Lord in perfect love and wisdom, seeking to encourage two of His beloved disciples, says to them, “O fools [senseless], and slow of heart to believe” (Luke 24:2525Then he said unto them, O fools, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken: (Luke 24:25)) a perfect rebuke from a heart of infinite, divine love from a true Friend!
Again in Proverbs we read of this same principle: “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful” (Prov. 27:66Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. (Proverbs 27:6)). Sometimes painful words must be spoken in order to save a friend from a path of sorrow. That is what characterizes a true friend. We have only to read of Absalom’s treachery against his father David (2 Sam. 15:55And it was so, that when any man came nigh to him to do him obeisance, he put forth his hand, and took him, and kissed him. (2 Samuel 15:5)) to learn how deceitful pretended friendship can be in stealing the heart. Job had three friends, yet it was Elihu who was his best and truest friend. He spoke God’s thoughts. Though Job may not have felt much comfort as he heard them, they brought blessing.
A Friend of Sinners
But wasn’t the Lord Jesus a friend of sinners in order to be a blessing to them (see Luke 7:34; 15:234The Son of man is come eating and drinking; and ye say, Behold a gluttonous man, and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners! (Luke 7:34)
2And the Pharisees and scribes murmured, saying, This man receiveth sinners, and eateth with them. (Luke 15:2))? Yes. But He never was in fellowship with their sin. He came “to seek and save that which was lost.” Those such as “publicans and sinners” who felt their need and came to Him found a perfect Friend. He was surely the most accessible of men a true friend to and One who loved the sinner. But He was ever, as perfect Man yet very God, “holy, harmless, undefiled, separate from sinners” (Heb. 7:2626For such an high priest became us, who is holy, harmless, undefiled, separate from sinners, and made higher than the heavens; (Hebrews 7:26)) always available yet never tainted by sin (Heb. 4:1515For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. (Hebrews 4:15)).
Never in the Bible do we find that being a true friend to others requires a Christian to walk or act in a way that dishonors the Lord or disobeys God’s Word. May each have a growing desire to be a faithful friend that “loveth at all times” (Prov. 17:1717A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. (Proverbs 17:17)) and one who fears the Lord in all they do (Prov. 1:77The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction. (Proverbs 1:7)).
Ed.