A few months ago, as this manuscript was being prepared, a fierce battle was raging for control of Baghdad. By now that battle may largely be over. But another, far more terrible battle has been raging for 6000 years, and for Christians it will not be over until the Lord Jesus calls us home. This battle isn’t to win cities; it’s to steal believers’ hearts.
The Lord Jesus Wins Hearts
Satan is a conquered foe (Heb. 2:1414Forasmuch then as the children are partakers of flesh and blood, he also himself likewise took part of the same; that through death he might destroy him that had the power of death, that is, the devil; (Hebrews 2:14)) through the work of our Lord Jesus Christ at the cross. For the Christian, the fear of death is forever gone. We are seen in Christ Jesus, who is made our righteousness (1 Cor. 1:3030But of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption: (1 Corinthians 1:30)), and we are God’s righteousness in Him (2 Cor. 5:2121For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him. (2 Corinthians 5:21)). So perfect and complete is the finished work of our Lord that we are already blessed... with all spiritual blessings in the heavenlies in Christ. And in Ephesians 5:3030For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. (Ephesians 5:30) we learn that we are “members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones.” Our Lord has once and forever satisfied the heart of God as to sin, defeated the terrible foe, and brought us into blessed oneness with Himself.
As we consider these wonderful things that have been given us in divine love and grace, there ought to be a response of love and worship to Him who has won our hearts. Surely we can with exultation say, “Worthy is the Lamb that was slain” (Rev. 5:1212Saying with a loud voice, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive power, and riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honor, and glory, and blessing. (Revelation 5:12)).
The Enemy Steals Hearts
Though a true believer a sheep of Christ is safe now and forever (John 10:28-2928And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. 29My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand. (John 10:28‑29)), Satan, coming as an “angel of light,” continually seeks to steal our hearts. If he is successful, the believer’s communion with his Lord is broken, his joy and peace are lost, and his testimony before the world is tarnished.
Absalom (2 Sam. 15) illustrates seven solemn ways in which Satan works to steal our affections away from the only One worthy of them. (1) In verses 12 he makes a glorious display of himself. In Christian lands, Satan covers his wicked guile by making his schemes appear attractive and powerful.
(2) In verse 3 Absalom pretended to be interested in their difficulties, (3) he insinuated that David didn’t really care about them, and (4) he suggested that whatever disturbed the people, they were right and David was wrong. How like the enemy who ever tries to encourage self-will while undermining confidence in the Lord Jesus’ care of us and His loving interest in all our circumstances.
(5) In verse 4 Absalom begins to usurp David’s authority, (6) implying that if only he were ruling, there would be justice. The enemy of our souls ever seeks to cause us to be insubmissive to God’s Word, exercising self-will rather than dependence and trust in our Saviour God’s love and goodness.
(7) In verse 5 Absalom professed love for the people, and in verse 6 we see the sad result: “So Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel.”
Won Hearts Losing First Love
Previously, when David had defeated Goliath, “all Israel and Judah loved David” (1 Sam. 18:1616But all Israel and Judah loved David, because he went out and came in before them. (1 Samuel 18:16)). He had not stolen their hearts he had won them. However, first love for David soon waned. Later, when chased by Saul, few followed him. Afterward, reigning as their king, those David had saved and blessed were easily led away from the one they had once loved!
The Lord Jesus’ first warning to the assemblies in Revelation 2-3 was to richly blessed Ephesus. In spite of all they were doing, the most important thing—love for Christ—was lacking. “I have against thee, that thou hast left thy first love” (Rev. 2:44Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love. (Revelation 2:4) JND).
Today when the love of many for the Lord Jesus has become cold and Laodicean in character (Rev. 3:1616So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth. (Revelation 3:16)), we need to prayerfully and humbly seek grace that the affections of our hearts be rekindled for the altogether lovely Saviour who “loved me, and gave Himself for me.” Where this burning first love for Christ is rekindled, we will be able to continue in the path of faith with Him no matter what discouragements or difficulties may be encountered.
Winning Our Children’s Hearts
Satan is also actively seeking to steal the hearts of children from their parents. Dad and Mom! That does not need to happen! But you must daily seek grace and wisdom from God’s Word to guard against losing your children. Make your primary goal in their early years to attach their hearts in love to the Lord Jesus and in love to yourselves. Be aware that if you fail in this, Satan will quickly steal their precious hearts by causing them to think that there is more love and understanding available to them in the world than what Dad and Mom display to them at home.
The Heart First, Then the Mind
Proverbs 23:2626My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways. (Proverbs 23:26) shows the importance of winning and attaching our children’s hearts to us: “My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe My ways.” Notice it doesn’t say, My son give me thine ear! Parents, if you do not win and keep your children’s heart, you will never gain their ear.
An infant is totally dependent on its parents. The danger is that parents might assume it will always display such complete trust. But that precious, innocent trust so strong in early years begins to wane. Yet love and confidence in parents should grow rather than decline! That requires daily parental vigilance, prayer and the wisdom of His Word all essential to strengthen the bonds of trust and love.
Dear parents! Allow nothing work, recreation, hobbies, even Christian service to deprive your children of your affections and interest. They know immediately when something has displaced them in your heart and will quickly turn to the false embrace of the world which promises them friendship, while it steals their hearts from you.
Parenting Is Heart Work
The moral order of Proverbs 23:2626My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways. (Proverbs 23:26) is also important to note. It is the heart first, and then the eyes observing the parents’ example. Parents may be quick to teach their little ones the familiar words, “Children, obey your parents” (Eph. 6:11Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. (Ephesians 6:1); Col. 3:2020Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. (Colossians 3:20)). But before this divine command can have much effect on them, Christ must be found in parents’ hearts dwelling “by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love... might be filled” (Eph. 3:17,1917That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, (Ephesians 3:17)
19And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. (Ephesians 3:19)).
If the Lord Jesus’ person and love have not won your heart and attached you to Himself, your children will quickly see something is more important to you than Jesus. Then “children obey,” rather than a command eagerly followed in love, will just be a bothersome restraint. Dad and Mom, do your children see your personal love for the Lord Jesus lived out in your life? If they do not see you expressing love for the Lord Jesus in your life, you cannot expect them to learn to love Him for themselves. You are their example. Achieving Willing Obedience Teaching a child obedience is essential. But in order for it to be effective, the child’s heart must first be won. While Christians are always to submit to God-given authority (1 Cor. 11; Rom. 13:11Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God. (Romans 13:1)), obeying a policeman or teacher is rarely a matter of love. Parents! You are more than policemen! Expect implicit obedience from your children, but see that it is obedience flowing from hearts won by your love.
Setting Examples
Once children’s hearts are won, you can effectively give direction and counsel. But be very careful of the examples you set! Your actions are the greatest lesson book your children will have in their early, formative years! Psalm 139:23-2423Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: 24And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:23‑24) should be our daily exercise: “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Then, “draw me, we will run after Thee” will be the sure result.
A New Testament Parent
These principles are illustrated in the life of the Apostle Paul. He, a spiritual father without equal, yearned for his beloved spiritual children. “My little children, of whom I travail in birth again until Christ be formed in you” (Gal. 4:1919My little children, of whom I travail in birth again until Christ be formed in you, (Galatians 4:19)).
He writes to his Philippian children in the faith, “As it is righteous for me to think this as to you all, because ye have me in your hearts” (Phil. 1:77Even as it is meet for me to think this of you all, because I have you in my heart; inasmuch as both in my bonds, and in the defence and confirmation of the gospel, ye all are partakers of my grace. (Philippians 1:7) JND). Paul could express confidence in the work of God being carried out to its happy conclusion in their lives because they had him in their hearts. What does that mean? Their hearts had been won by Paul and were attached to him in love. May it be so with dear Christian parents. Don’t waste one precious moment of time that you still may have. Don’t let anything come between you and winning the hearts of your beloved children so you can say in confidence, “Give me thine heart.” Let nothing enter your home that will steal the love and confidence your children ought to have in you. Nothing is important enough to be allowed to steal the hearts of your precious children from you. May God grant each parent purpose of heart!
Ed.