IN a village of Somersetshire there lived a young man about twenty-two years of age. He was the son of very respectable parents, and had been brought up well, in a moral point of view; but his heart and conscience were alike untouched―the Spirit of God had not as yet begun to work within him.
A relative to whom he was much attached, died, and he, with others, went to the funeral. There he was arrested by the solemn words, pronounced over the grave, “I am the Resurrection and the Life.” “Who does that mean?” he said to himself. “It cannot be the clergyman;” who, then, is that wondrous Person, who can assume such a title?
With his mind full of this thought, he began, when he got home, to search his Bible; and soon other questions presented themselves. “Where should I go if I were to die?” “Is it possible for anyone to know whether his sins are forgiven in this world?” He had no one to turn to in his difficulties; no Christian friend to whom he could tell them; his parents were unconverted: he groped on in the dark. But, at this time, his friends remarked a change in him; he became much more serious and thoughtful than before. It was observed that he never went out to his work on the farm; never even went across the yard to look at the cows without taking with him the little, old Bible that he had used at school as a child. No one saw him read it, but it was his constant companion.
Time passed on, and another change took place in J. He became restless and unhappy, and, laying aside the Bible, sought every kind of amusement. His mother and sisters wondered, and said, when he went out and sought for distractions outside the home circle, “How unlike J.”
But all was of no avail; Satan’s efforts to cheat and delude him with this world’s vain pleasures were not allowed to succeed. He only sank into deeper misery. “I found,” he said afterward, “like Solomon, that all is vanity and vexation of spirit” (Eccl. 1:1414I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and, behold, all is vanity and vexation of spirit. (Ecclesiastes 1:14).)
An expression of deep gloom settled on his countenance. He held his head hanging down, and his eyes on the ground. He scarcely spoke, except when addressed, and then answered as shortly as possible. His friends now began to be seriously alarmed about him, and neighbors whispered, “He is losing his mind,” The anxious mother waited and watched, but how little she knew what was passing within.
One day, feeling more miserable than ever, he fell on his knees, and asked God what he was to do. Then he saw, as it were, hell open before him, and himself suspended by a thread over the awful abyss. How was he to escape that dreadful doom? The weight of his sins seemed more than he could bear, and he dreaded the just judgment of God.
That night, his mother was awakened from sleep by a knock at her door; she rose and opened it, and there stood J. “Mother, can you give me some matches?” he asked. “Are you ill?” said she; “what do you want with matches?” He took them without a word, and went back to his room. He lighted his candle, and once more took up the Bible. He turned over the pages without much purpose, and at last opened on, Gen. 32:2626And he said, Let me go, for the day breaketh. And he said, I will not let thee go, except thou bless me. (Genesis 32:26); then, closing the Bible, he cried out in anguish of soul, “I will not let Thee go, except Thou bless me!” And God heard the cry of the poor burdened spirit, and sent the answer of peace.
As he described it afterward, a flood of light entered into his soul; all his doubts and fears were gone, and, instead of them, he was “filled with peace and joy in believing.” (Rom. 15:1313Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost. (Romans 15:13).) Dear reader, let me ask you, have you ever felt the burden of your sins like J.? have you ever cried to God? The true cry of a soul’s need can never fail to reach the ear of God. Though J. did not then know it, it was God who was working in him all that time, just letting him come to the end of himself and everything else, that he might find all his resource in God. Like the prodigal son, “he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him,” (Luke 15:2020And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him. (Luke 15:20).)
After passing a sleepless night, her mind run of anxious thought, J.’s mother came into his room very early in the morning, and found the candle still burning, and the Bible in his hand. “Give me that book,” said she, “J., you are just breaking my heart by going on in this way; you will surely go out of your mind, and I shall go out of mine too.”
“Mother,” said he, as she took the Bible from him, “that book is the word of God. ‘Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved.’” (Acts 16:3131And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house. (Acts 16:31).) His mother said afterward, that she could never forget the wonderful expression of his face at that moment, it was perfectly radiant with intense happiness.
When J. joined the family at breakfast, he told them all “what great things God had done for him.” “I used to think about God before,” he said, “but now I know Christ.” He then earnestly and simply besought them all to come to Christ. “It is not by anything you can do,” he said; “it is no use trying―it is only to believe.”
On his way to work he spoke to an old woman, and told her of the way of salvation. In the evening, he again implored the members of his family to come to Christ, and kneeling down amongst them, prayed earnestly for a blessing on their souls. At first they resented it, but soon the conscience of one sister was awakened, and then of the other; they were convicted of sin, and saw their state, as lost, in the sight of God. The; were very unhappy for some time.
A preacher of the gospel came to the village about two months after J.’s conversion, and the word he preached was blessed to both sisters, and they found peace through the blood of Christ.
Alas! the father and mother remained untouched by the wondrous work of God’s grace in their midst, in saving three of their children. How terrible is this indifference of soul! Content with a religion of forms, and a life of outward respectability, they felt not their need of a Saviour―they did not know that, in God’s sight, all are alike sinners. “There is none righteous, no, not one” (Rom. 3:1010As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one: (Romans 3:10)). “All have sinned, and come short of the glory of God” (Rom. 3:2323For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; (Romans 3:23)). E. R. B.