One Saturday, Stephen led the girls up the Hillside where he had been stranded in the snowstorm. It was good to be together again. The day began bright and sunny, with a cool breeze. There was something about getting deep into the woods that was so refreshing. The pine needles beneath their feet, the colorful wildflowers, the saplings springing up and bringing new life to the forest, all blended into a beauty each of them especially enjoyed.
At last they came to a spot where wildflowers grew like a carpet across the gently sloping hillside.
This would be a perfect place to stop and eat their lunch. Kara was carrying the sandwiches and fruit in a knapsack on her back. She slid it off now, glad for the chance to rest and catch her breath, as the trail was steep. Stephen thanked the Lord for the food, then filled their cups with water. Everything tasted so good.
At the end of the climb, they came to a clearing overlooking the small village below. How insignificant it seemed, lying there in miniature from their vantage point. It was exhilarating to be up here on top of the "mountain". Jennie, still used to the splendor of magnificent mountains in the West, was always amused at the use of the word "mountain" for these mere foothills. She and Stephen climbed onto a large, fallen tree trunk and sat down together, looking over the valley below.
Stephen was looking forward to this college year and he spoke of it with enthusiasm. Turning to Jennie with his warm smile, he was the same Stephen she had always known. Yet, ever since his return the year before from Oregon, she sensed a restlessness in him.
It was only to be expected that he would have to work all summer. She understood there would probably never again be a carefree time filled with long, lazy, sharing days, like she once hoped. When Stephen returned to college, she knew he would be caught up in college life, while she remained in Jaffrey.
"Jennie," he suggested with sincerity, "you ought to go to college."
She was not academically inclined and had never had any real desire to go on with more schooling. But she wanted to be where Stephen was. Here he was suggesting she go to college, too. Was she foolish to feel happy at the thought?
She sat by him on the log, looking down on the valley. Conflict filled her heart. While her father never wanted her to go on to college, he hadn't actually forbidden it. She felt certain that if she had chosen to be a nurse or something of that nature, requiring further schooling, that he might have consented. She was convinced as she sat on the log with Stephen that her not going was going to make the difference in their relationship. Up to now, nothing had really changed between them. There was nothing she wanted more than to be by his side. Should she make this decision simply to win Stephen? Could she when she knew so well her father's wishes for her to remain in Jaffrey?
A soft breeze rustled in the trees around them. Stephen reached for a delicate fern. Deep in thought, he began tearing off the Lacey bits of green one by one, dropping them onto the carpet of pine needles covering the ground. Neither of them spoke, each lost in their own thoughts. There had been so much sharing between them in the brief two years since his arrival in Jaffrey. There was a warmth of friendship between them that couldn't be denied.
Watching Stephen as he bent over the fern absorbed in his own thoughts, Jennie knew that she would always think of him as a dear brother. During the last few weeks especially, she had been praying he might become more than that. Her mind traveled back to the struggle she had experienced a few days before when she had bicycled alone to the lake.
It had been a sunny, warm afternoon. Parking along the path, her steps led her down to the shore where she found a sheltered spot to sit under one of the many trees. Her thoughts were of Stephen.
She wondered what made her sense that their paths were soon going to separate. He had gone to college the year before, so that couldn't be the only reason. There was a certain detachment, an affectionate, almost sad way in which he looked at her now. Whatever it was, whether she could explain it or not, she knew it was there-a silent parting that could not be put into words, the end of a stage of life. Sometimes a girl just knew, and in the knowing she felt pain.
She pulled her small Bible from her jacket pocket. This calm, quiet place was so meaningful to her, her own little "sanctuary". She didn't think she could count the hours she had quietly prayed here about this matter. Often she would become aware that she was only praying for her own will, for what she wanted. Then she would try to change that prayer, asking for the Lord's will and for the grace to accept it... with joy!
Even in these shining moments of victory she sometimes found here by the lake, she was aware that overwhelming doubts would again overtake her. She wondered if boys suffered inside the way girls suffered, if boys could possibly hurt in this same way.
How thankful she was for the Lord Jesus and for the closeness she could feel with Him. She remembered back when Kara had been so sick and she first learned to know the Lord as her Friend. Whatever would she do without Him?
Aunt Sarah had only strengthened this within her, leading her on to realize how she could take every problem to Him. There was something so valuable and precious to her heart to be able to come to this little "sanctuary" at the lake and sit for as long as necessary, pouring her heart out to Him, knowing that He heard and that He cared. It made all the difference.
Another vivid memory took her back to an afternoon many months before. It portrayed Stephen's love for young children. A family was visiting the Benton home with a charming three-year-old girl. Dropping in as he often did on his way home from school, Stephen had taken the small child on his knee and read her a story. It all flashed before her again; the three-year-old with her blond ringlets and starched pinafore bending over the book as Stephen carefully and patiently explained the story and pictures to her. Then, abruptly he had picked the little girl up in his strong arms, carried her across the room and set her on Jennie's lap along with the book, continuing on homeward.
Yes, that was Stephen! Now opening her Bible to Isaiah, she scanned a page until she came to the verse she wanted, Isa. 46:1010Declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times the things that are not yet done, saying, My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure: (Isaiah 46:10): "My counsel shall stand, and I will do all My pleasure... yea, I have spoken it, I will also bring it to pass; I have purposed it, I will also do it." Yes, she knew that the Lord's counsel would stand. His will in this matter would be brought to pass.
But today, sitting on the log beside Stephen, enjoying together all the beauty of nature, she knew she could easily be swayed to turn and run after him. It was as if for this moment alone nothing was changed, that treasured relationship of the past years still remaining. The moment of decision was passing.
She watched Stephen now as he stood up and walked to the edge of the clearing, looking down over Jaffrey. If only she knew what he was really thinking. If only he could tell her, how much easier it would be. There it was again, what she had observed so often of late, that blending of tenderness and sadness in his smile as he looked over at her.
What a strength it was to her in these moments of wondering, to know that the God who held the universe in check was planning her life. If He chose to take Stephen away from her, did she have any right to suggest the possibility she knew a better solution? That was an enormous question and one which searched her heart. To even suggest she knew a better way was simply doubting God's love and wisdom. When she looked at it like that, a good deal of the conflict began to lose its grip.
It would be the Lord who would put love in Stephen's heart for her, not her following him into his college life. She felt peace about following her father's wishes to remain in Jaffrey.
Stephen walked toward her with his old smile, Kara, Julia and Lisa having started home long before. Jennie climbed over the fallen log and together they took the path back down the mountain.