JAMES'S ILLNESS
WINTER SET IN WITH UNCOMMON severity; the ground was early covered with deep snow. James became seriously ill. Mary wished to send for the doctor from the nearest village, and the kind farmer went in a sledge on the top of the snow to fetch him.
When the doctor had seen James and prescribed for him, Mary followed him to the door and anxiously inquired if he thought her father in danger. The doctor said that he did not think there was any immediate danger, but there was a great risk that the attack might end in consumption, and that in this case, at her father's age, there would be no hope of his recovery.
Poor Mary was sadly overcome on hearing this; but remembering that her tears would grieve her father, she exerted all her self-command to restrain them, that she might not hurt him, and she reentered his room with a composed and serene face. It requires more true and deep feeling to act in this way than to give way to useless tears and lamentations, which are often the mere outpouring of selfishness.
Mary's love for her father was real and overcame her love of self. Her affection was shown, not by useless tears, but by active exertions for his comfort. His food was carefully and regularly prepared, nicely cooked, and served to him in the most inviting way. His pillows were skillfully arranged to give him ease; she watched his every look, that she might anticipate his wishes. She often passed the night watching by his pillow, and many a weary hour her busy fingers worked to gain enough money to procure for him the little comforts that he needed.
When she did lie down to rest, her sleep was often disturbed. If he coughed or if he moved, she glided gently in to see if anything was wanting. When he was able to hear her, she read aloud to him; but, above all, her prayers were constant for him. Often when he was sleeping she was praying by his side and weeping silently when he could not see her tears. She found relief in pouring out the distress of her soul before God. "O Lord, spare my father; spare him to me, I pray Thee, even a little longer," was often her agonized cry; yet still she added, as she had been ever taught to do, "Thy will be done."
The old man recovered a little, but it was evident that the amendment was only temporary. He himself felt that death was approaching. He was calm and resigned. He spoke of it to Mary with the greatest composure. He wished to prepare her for the blow. Poor Mary could scarcely bear this. Notwithstanding her strongest efforts to control herself, her composure nearly gave way.
"O my dear father," said she, "do not speak to me of losing you. The very thought is agony. I cannot bear it. What would become of me? I have no other friend on earth. I should be desolate indeed."
"Do not grieve so, my dear child," said her father. "Christians must not sorrow as those who have no hope, for me, death is a glorious change; and as to you, my darling, I can trust you with Him who has promised to be a Father to the fatherless. He has said, 'Leave thy fatherless children, and I will preserve them alive.' If your earthly father is taken away, dear Mary, you have your Father in heaven still.
"I have no anxiety about your worldly provision. He who feedeth the young ravens when they cry will provide your food. He who clothes the grass of the field will much more clothe you. He has said, 'The young lions do lack, and suffer hunger: but they that seek the Lord shall not want any good thing' (Psa. 34:1010The young lions do lack, and suffer hunger: but they that seek the Lord shall not want any good thing. (Psalm 34:10)). He has also said, 'Take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you' (Matt. 6:31-3331Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? 32(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. 33But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. (Matthew 6:31‑33)). But remember, dear Mary, this exhortation, 'Seek ye first.' Let it be your daily prayer, your daily endeavor, to seek first, above all things, that righteousness which is the one thing needful.
"Keep close to Christ, and then you will have nothing to fear. If you are walking with Christ, seeking Him daily in prayer, leaning on His arm, trusting in His strength, feeding on His word, you will be kept safe even in the midst of enemies. You have been brought up in great retirement, my child; you have hitherto been shielded from many of the temptations to which those are exposed who come more in contact with the world; but when I am taken away you may be thrown more among others, you may be exposed to conflict with various enemies, both within and without. You know, dear Mary, that these enemies are threefold-Satan, the world, and our own evil natures.
"I know you will shrink from wicked people when you know them to be such; but Satan can sometimes appear even as an angel of light, and if you trust to your own wisdom and discernment, my poor girl, you will be often deceived. 'Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths' (Prov. 3:5-65Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. (Proverbs 3:5‑6)). Look ever unto Jesus. It is by the daily walk with Him, the daily seeking from Him wisdom and strength, that we can alone hope to be preserved from the snares of the wicked. Then, besides outward enemies, we have a whole host of treacherous enemies in our own hearts ever threatening to betray us and to turn us away from seeking Christ daily.
"Indolence and Sloth will whisper to you, perhaps, that if you are busy or tired, there is no great harm in omitting your daily prayer, and Presumption will add that you are in no particular peril at that moment. Procrastination will say that another time will do as well as your stated morning hour, and Self-Indulgence will plead for a little less strictness. Evil tempers, murmuring and wandering thoughts will try to distract your attention during prayer, if you cannot be quite hindered from it.
"When you feel the risings of these evil things within, my child, flee to Jesus; tell Him of your difficulties—of your temptations; ask for strength to fight the good fight—the incessant warfare with inward as well as outward temptations. You know the weapons of this warfare, dear Mary, that they are not carnal, but spiritual. I have often spoken to you about the armor of the Christian soldier (Eph. 6:10-1810Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. 11Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. 13Wherefore take unto you the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. 14Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; 15And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. 17And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: 18Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; (Ephesians 6:10‑18)). Clothed with the armor, and looking ever to Jesus for strength, you may go safely on your pilgrimage, fearing no enemies, and all things will work together for your good. Even seeming evils are overruled by God for the good of His people.
"I can now look back on my past life and on all the way by which the Lord my God has led me, and bless Him for His goodness to me. Yes, I can praise Him for much that was painful to me at the time. When our eyes are opened by God's grace, and we see things no longer as the dark world sees them, but when 'God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ,' we begin to set a different value on all things.
"We see that prosperity is sometimes a curse and adversity a blessing. We understand better what constitutes true happiness. You know, my child, that I speak from experience. I at one time tasted largely of what the world calls pleasure. When I traveled with the Count, I was allowed to share in a very large degree in all the amusements that the world covets. I enjoyed all the luxuries that worldly people desire. I know the worthlessness of all to give happiness. I have enjoyed much more real happiness in an hour of meditation and communion with God in our dear old garden. Believe me, my child, there is no true blessedness but in God. O my dear Mary, pray and strive to obtain that pearl of great price, which is the only treasure worth seeking.
"You know, my child, that I have not been without trials, yet I can thank God now for them, and feel that they were sent in mercy and in great love; for whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. When your mother died I suffered very deeply. My soul seemed dried up within me. It was broken up and furrowed, as you have seen the earth in a time of drought; yet, after a time, God sent the abundant and refreshing dew of His consolations, and revived my thirsty soul, and I felt the benefit of the affliction; for by this trial He weaned me more from earthly things and helped me to set my affections on things above.
"God ever does this, dear Mary. If we trace the workings of His providence, we shall always find that He brings good out of evil. Do you remember the miserable day when, faint with fatigue and hunger, I fell down by the wayside? From that day's suffering many of the comforts of the last three years have sprung. It brought us acquainted with these kind people, who received and sheltered us.
"Our greatest grief was when you were accused of theft and thrust into prison. Yet even in this severe trial, dear Mary, I think I can already see God's purposes of mercy to you. The young Countess had distinguished you by her favor and wished to have you much with her. She had even begun to excite and foster vanity in you by her gifts. Had this friendship continued, you would have been exposed to many temptations; and young as you were, you might have been led astray from what was right. Depend upon it, dear Mary, that in this case the path of adversity, though painful, was the safest. God used these means to deepen and elevate your character, to purge and to strengthen your soul, and to teach you more simple reliance on His faithfulness. It is another example of the truth of the words of Scripture, that though 'no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous, nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby' (Heb. 12:1111Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby. (Hebrews 12:11)).
"At some future time, when the affliction has done its full work, and when you may be safely trusted to withstand temptation, it may perhaps be the good pleasure of God to remove this affliction altogether, to make your innocence clear in the sight of all, and to restore you to the favor and friendship of the Countess.
"But if it should not be so, my child; if, on the contrary, even severer trials are awaiting you, do not be afraid. If the wounds inflicted on you are deep, remember that the knife is in the hand of a loving Father. Our Lord Jesus Christ is a wise and skillful physician, who will not give one unnecessary pang, who wounds only to cure. In the darkest and most trying days, trust Him-hope on-faint not. Remember the experience and exhortation of the psalmist: 'I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord' (Psa. 27:13-1413I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. 14Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord. (Psalm 27:13‑14)).
"Yes, dear Mary, even my death, the affliction you dread so much, which it pains you so much to think of, will be overruled for good to you, though you cannot see this at present. Try, my dear child, to reconcile yourself to the thought, try to hear me speak of it with resignation. There is nothing terrible in death to a Christian. It is only the removal from the garden below to the garden above.
"Let us go back once more to some of the lessons of our old garden at Eichbourg. Do you remember our seedbeds, where the young shoots, that were one day to be magnificent trees, came up weak, and crowded together in a narrow bed? How miserable they looked then, without a vestige of the beauty which they were afterward to have! When they were left long in the seedbed, do you remember how feeble and sickly they looked from want of air and room? You used to urge me to transplant them. You would not be satisfied till you had seen them removed to a bed prepared for them, where, with fresh air, and light, and sunshine, they soon shot up into luxuriance and beauty.
"Here, my child, we are like these feeble and miserable plants, with scarcely the appearance of life, and no beauty; but when God transplants us into His glorious garden above, He will clothe us with a beauty of which we have no conception here. 'Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him' (1 Cor. 2:99But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him. (1 Corinthians 2:9)). But one thing 'we know, that when he shall appear, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is' (1 John 3:22Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. (1 John 3:2)); 'that when Christ, who is our life, shall appear, we also shall appear with him in glory.' And is not this the sum of all happiness?
"O my dear Mary, do not grieve that the time is drawing near when I shall be removed, to be made perfectly blessed. I am going to my Savior; do not wish to keep me here. Only keep close to Him now, that we may meet again above. If you are truly united to Christ, if you are made one with Him, then you will have a community of interests with Him: a community of suffering, in bearing patiently the cross that He sends, as He patiently bore a far heavier cross for you; a community of work, in laboring in the service of God; and a community of glory, in being made a partaker of His heavenly inheritance. O dear Mary, if we are really Christ's, the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared to the glory which shall be revealed in us. Our light afflictions, which are but for a moment, shall work out a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory."
Such were the conversations of James and his daughter; such the advice and instruction which he gave her from time to time as he was able to speak. Every word sank deep into the heart of Mary and was watered by her tears. It fell into a soil prepared to receive it, for it had been deeply plowed by sorrow.
When James spoke of his death, she was sometimes wholly unable to command herself. "I have given you much pain, my child," said James, "yet I cannot part from you without giving you advice and warning. What is sown in tears often produces a harvest of joy."
Watcher, who wakest by the bed of pain,
While the stars sweep on with their midnight train,
Stifling the tear for thy loved one's sake,
Holding thy breath, lest his sleep should break,
In the loneliest hour there's a helper nigh—
Jesus of Nazareth passeth by.
Fading one, with the hectic streak
In thy vein of fire and thy wasted cheek,
Fearest thou the shade of the darkened vale?
Look to the Guide who can never fail!
He hath trod it Himself, He will hear thy sigh—
Jesus of Nazareth passeth by.