Jennie stood under the night sky, looking up into the darkness at the spot of airplane that was quickly disappearing from view. The lights were blinking, blinking; as the plane vanished into the light cloud cover.
From below, she could hear the drone of the airplane as it disappeared—the fading drone blended with the sounds of earth. The night air was filled with the chirping of katydids in the heavy foliage of summer trees and the endless croaking of frogs in a nearby stream.
What a strange feeling it was to stand down here on the ground and see the plane fading into the night, knowing that Stephen was going farther and farther away. Her heart seemed to stand still in the darkness as she listened, watching until suddenly there were no more lights, no more sound—he was gone.
She turned and walked toward the house. Loneliness crept over her. She knew her long struggle to accept life in the village of Jaffrey had been eased in a large measure by Stephen's friendship. It wouldn't be the same at all now, without him. She felt an emptiness.
The giant elms surrounded her on either side, the summer wind rustling through their expanse of green leaves. As she passed the window, she could see the lamps aglow in the living room, shining out through the heavy curtains with a friendly welcome. She could observe her father sitting on one side of the fireplace, reading; her mother doing handiwork on the opposite side, facing him in her comfortable chair. There was no fire tonight. The warm evenings of summer were upon them. As she came up the walk outside, she could recognize the large text over the fireplace and the familiar family photos hanging on the wall. Looking in from the outside as a visitor might observe the scene, Jennie realized in the midst of her disappointment the blessings of her home.
Climbing the steps to the long, narrow porch, she entered the front hallway. Everything was quiet. If she moved to the living-room doorway, her father would motion for her to come in to visit with him. She knew that would be what he wanted. She preferred, however, to be alone. She climbed the long, winding stairway, convinced it had been Stephen's plane soaring overhead. Standing there a long, long while in the darkness, she had watched the time on her wristwatch. It coincided perfectly with the flight takeoff time. It had to have been his plane.
"If only I could stop time, if only I could control what is happening in my life," she reflected, as she continued silently up the stairs. It was a sinking feeling. She realized that this was part of being a Christian, this very inability to control her life. It was in the hands of One who loved her and was planning for her more wisely than she could ever plan for herself. But the struggle was not that easy.
She was filled with dread that Stephen, as she knew him now, would never return.
Kara was probably still awake in her bedroom. Reaching the top of the long, winding staircase, Jennie chose not to enter Kara's room, but walked the narrow hallway to her own bedroom at the far end and sat looking out the window. The moonlight outlined the large woodpile in back, casting shadows across the green and white latticed wallpaper.
She switched on the light and found her Bible. Returning to the window, Jennie looked out over the dark trees and in the soft glow began to read, "To know the love of Christ." It filled her heart in this moment as she tried to grasp the real meaning of having a Savior whose love passes knowledge. There were times like this when all she could do was to simply trust in that love, not understanding why the disappointment had been allowed.
Climbing into bed, sleep eluded her as the procession of recent memories tumbled across her mind.
It was all vivid in her memory: the move to Jaffrey in the dead of winter from sunny California, the intense loneliness for her good friends back home. When summer finally arrived, things were no better. A never-ending succession of company descended on the Bentons, meaning hard work and long hours of sitting quietly while the adults visited, in contrast to the fun times she had loved back home. And now Stephen was gone too. Thinking back over what the past months had brought her, she lay there, remembering......