One winter, when our boys were small, we bought them an electric train. Using some pieces of scrap lumber and carefully sanding the edges, I made an inexpensive set of building blocks. These, along with a few sturdy cardboard boxes, were all they needed to build an imaginary railroad empire on their bedroom floor something that kept them happily occupied for many cold, dreary winter days.
Of course, my wife and I both enjoyed watching them, but after an emotionally draining day at work, I personally found it even more satisfying to get down on the floor and play with them. What happy times we had together, building structures out of cardboard boxes and blocks to place over and around the train track!
After the flood, men with whom God desired to have fellowship (Gen. 3:99And the Lord God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou? (Genesis 3:9)) began to build a structure, a monument to their pride. What they were building brought no joy to the heart of God, nor could He have fellowship with them in their efforts.
Man’s heart, not changed by the flood, began building that monument to himself, rejecting any thought of wanting fellowship with God in their effort. But God was perfectly mindful, watching what they attempted to build, and His heart could not be with them in fellowship, rest or joy.
Unable to have communion with what was being erected in rebellious pride, God brought a solemn government on man’s attempt a division of languages, which, of necessity, caused a division of mankind into many tongues and nations.
Division and separation is an unhappy state for society and a more tragic condition for marriage. “Rejoice with the wife of thy youth” (Prov. 5:1818Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. (Proverbs 5:18)).
Marriage ought to be a continual building process—never a dividing or separating process. It should be the forming into what God desires should be a beautiful edifice one which both partners build, delighting in the joy of doing so “together.” “They two shall be one” (Eph. 5:3131For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. (Ephesians 5:31)).
Marriage ought to never be characterized by pride or rebellion towards God or towards a spouse. “By pride there only cometh contention” (Prov. 13:1010Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom. (Proverbs 13:10) JND). Contention and destruction are not God’s mind for the marriage union. “Pride goeth before destruction” (Prov. 16:1818Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall. (Proverbs 16:18)).
God intends that marriage will continue with increasing joy all during life. “Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine.... Thou hast kept the good wine until now” (John 2:1010And saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse: but thou hast kept the good wine until now. (John 2:10)). Successfully building such a marriage requires the energy of both partners. It is not enough for one spouse to sit back and “watch” while the other builds alone.
Though she was, in reality, deceiving Samson, we may apply morally Delilah’s question as being one of the keys to building and enjoying a happy marriage: “How canst thou say, I love thee, when thine heart is not with me?” (Judg. 16:1515And she said unto him, How canst thou say, I love thee, when thine heart is not with me? thou hast mocked me these three times, and hast not told me wherein thy great strength lieth. (Judges 16:15)).
Ed.