An Atheist's Quarrel With Himself.

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“The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof; but canst not tell whence it cometh, or whither it goeth; so is every one that is born of the Spirit.” JOHN 3:88The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh, and whither it goeth: so is every one that is born of the Spirit. (John 3:8)
IN a day when religious profession is becoming more and more corrupted by unsound doctrine and worldly practice, it is a great comfort to find reliable evidence that the blessed God, in His own sovereign right and tender mercy, is effectually working to “give light to them that sit in darkness, and in the shadow of death, and to guide their feet into the way of peace” (Luke 1:7979To give light to them that sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace. (Luke 1:79)).
The letter of a celebrated French writer (Mons. L―n), bears refreshing evidence of this. It was addressed to his fellow-countrymen during the Franco-Prussian war; and appeared in several of the papers in France. A translation of the same appeared also in a Swedish paper, and to a friend speaking that language we are indebted for its translation into English. In the two translations it may have lost a little in the way of verbal exactness; but to two things it certainly bears unmistakable witness ― the genuineness of the writer’s soul-awakening, and the utter “bankruptcy of unbelief,” when really tested. What God used to put him to the test was the great war then raging. This he freely confesses. Until that event the pen of this able writer had nothing but biting sarcasm and bitter mockery for every religious belief; but now, in a public confession, he urges his nation to return to the faith, as the only firm ground for the soul to rest upon. In free translation it runs thus: ―
“I laughed at faith, and considered myself wise. As I behold France bleeding and weeping, I no longer retain my gaiety over this derision. I stood by the roadside and saw the soldiers. They went on so joyfully to meet death, that it made me ask the question, What is making you so calm? They started praying, and said, ‘We believe in God.’
“I counted our nation’s sacrifices, and saw how the people praying could carry them. Then I felt within me, that it was something consoling to know of an eternal Homeland which shines with love, while the earthly is burning with hatred. This knowledge is the knowledge of a little child; and I am no longer a child. That is my poverty! That causes me a shiver! A nation must despair if it does not believe that the pain of earth can be exchanged for the joy of Heaven.
“To hope when everything is sinking! Who can do that without faith? On French soil I stand by the streams of blood, and see the rivers of tears. I doubt, but the old woman from Bretagne, whose sons have bled to death, and who has cried until her eyes are blinded, prays. ... How ashamed I am before this woman!
“How terrible and burning are the wounds of a people when there is not one drop of healing balm flowing ― a drop of this Wonderful One’s blood―this Wonderful...! Oh, I dare not name His Name! He so good; and I...!
“What will become of France? What of her children, if they do not believe, ―of her women, if they do not pray?
“That nation will conquer in this war which has confidence in God as its foremost weapon. France was great in bygone days, but it was a France mixed with faith. How is it with France at this moment? It is under pressures and difficulties. It knows a France which no longer can believe. Shall its future be better? By God’s good hand, Yes, but only through God’s hand.”
“Behold a nation whose dead cover the fields. How difficult to remain an atheist on this vast national cemetery! I cannot. I have betrayed myself and you, who have read my books and sung thy songs. It was a most raving, a most terrible dream! I see death, and I cry for life. France, France, turn! Turn to faith―to your beautiful days. To give up God is to be forever lost! I know not if I shall be alive to-morrow. But this I must tell my friends, I dare not die an atheist! Hell does not trouble me, but this thought troubles me: a God lives, and I stand far from Him!
“My soul shall joy mightily if I ever experience that moment, when kneeling I can say, ‘I believe, I believe in God!’
“Those words are the vespers of humanity. For those who know them not it is night.”
It has been rightly said, that the first step to peace with God is a quarrel with yourself! Who, then, can help seeing that this awakened atheist had taken the first step in the bitter quarrel with himself which he voluntarily confesses to the whole nation. He made it plain that he had, in himself, not a vestige of merit on which he could stand before God. He must of necessity listen to another story and take another step.
“I hear the words of love,
I gaze upon the blood,
I see the mighty sacrifice,
And I have peace with God.”
“I stand upon His merit,
I know no safer stand,
Not e’en where glory dwelleth
In Immanuel’s land.”
God had been preparing that defiant sinner to appreciate His Own feelings of kindness toward him, and to be thankful for what His beloved Son had done to express it. And so it is with all who are brought to believe God’s precious Gospel.
When we take the first step―that is, when we repent ―there is joy in God’s heart about us. When we take the second, there is joy in our hearts about Him.
GEO. C.