AS the subject of this narrative has passed out of this scene, I feel free to tell the story of his conversion as he told it to me himself some twenty years ago. I do not mention his name, as he may have relatives living who might object to my doing so. But I give the account in his own words, as nearly as I can remember them.
Count B―was a Russian or Polish nobleman, I am not sure which. He told me he had been an atheist, and was so convinced that there was no necessity for belief in a creative Power that he had written a pamphlet to prove the truth of his views. He had spent an evening in correcting the printer’s proofs of his paper, and had retired to bed, intending to send it to be published next day.
But as he lay in his bed the thought came to him, “Suppose there should be a God after all?” He could not shake it off, and spent a troubled and restless night; and at last, not able to bear the burden on his mind any longer, he rose from his bed, and fell on his knees, and said, “O God, if there be a God, reveal Thyself to me.” Two or three times he repeated these words, and returned to his bed. But his atheistic thoughts were gone, and the first thing he did on rising was to destroy his paper. The next thing was to get a Bible, and there he found, in the testimony concerning Christ, that revelation of God for which he had prayed. The more he read, the more he thirsted to know the God he had denied, whom he found to be a Saviour-God. He learned that if “God is light,” it is also true that “God is love,” and that that love had been told out to him, the atheist, at the cross of Calvary.; and he could bow his knees before Him and thank Him that there had been mercy and love even for an atheist. From this time on Count B― became an earnest Christian, glad to speak to others of the God he had found, and knew as his Father and his God.
If this should reach the eye of any poor atheist, I pray that it may lead him also to think, “Suppose there should be a God after all?”
It is quite a common thing today to find there are those who boast of their intelligence, and refuse with anger the very thought of a Creator-God, asserting that it would “rob” them of all that Darwin had given them. Poor fools! they limit their thoughts to the world they live in, though even that teems with proofs of a Creator; and ignore the wonders and glories of which David writes, as, moved by the Spirit of Him who created all, he breaks forth into his psalm of praise: “The heavens declare the glory of God, and the firmament showeth His handiwork.”
Ah, leaving even inspiration out of the question, I would rather believe the common sense of a David than the poor, foolish vaporings of a Darwin, or of the school of infidels that believe in him and follow him to their own destruction, however intellectual they may seem. Not only do they “rob” ‘themselves of the present joy of knowing Him whom to know is life eternal, but the time will come when they will “have to do” with the God they deny, and will then find how terrible the “mistake” they have made.
“The fool hath said in his heart, No God” (Ps. 14:1), and he must be a fool indeed who denies a Creator-God. The question, “Which came first, the hen or the egg?” has silenced many an atheist; and cannot be answered except from Scripture. Some years ago I had a long conversation with a French Professor, of Bayonne, who tried in vain to justify his unbelief, and owned that he could not answer that question. Then turning triumphantly to me he said, “Of course, monsieur, you can answer it.”
I replied, “Yes, I can,” and turning to Genesis 50:2020But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive. (Genesis 50:20), I read, “And God said, ‘And let fowl fly (margin): above the earth in the open firmament of heaven?’” And as he listened I was able to tell him what it was to know that God as a Saviour-God, in the gift of His Son, and to have peace with God in the knowledge of sins righteously forgiven because they had been borne by His Son on the cross. He listened, and in bidding me farewell said, “I shall not forget what you have told me.” More, of course, I cannot say, as I did not see him again.
One word in conclusion. As sure as there is a sun in the heavens, and countless myriads of worlds besides, there must be a God who made them, and they “declare His glory,” as David wrote. But, after all, great as are the wonders of creation, far greater are the wonders of redemption; for the first are the proofs of His power who brought them into existence by the word of His mouth: “God said” was enough for that. But the latter is the proof of His love, and the darkness and death of Calvary are alone the measure of that, whether in the God who “spared not His own Son,” or in the devoted love of that Son Himself, who could say, “The cup which My Father hath given Me, shall I not drink it?” though He alone knew what the drinking of that cup would be to Him. But He drank it to the bitter dregs, and has not left one drop behind for any who, taking their true place as sinners before a holy God, find perfect rest and peace in knowing that all their sins were in that cup of judgment, and can say in the triumphant language of faith in the finished work of Christ, “It is God that justifieth; who is be that condemneth?” They can find in that risen and glorified Man at God’s right hand, the answer to that finished work for the glory of God. Through sin, which has so deeply stained the world which came in all its beauty from the hands of a Creator-God, man had been estranged from Him, lost to Him. Through redemption He has recovered man for His own heart’s satisfaction.
Oh, how blessed to read that even the sin of man could not close the love of the heart of God; but that “God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have ever-lasting life” (John 3:1616For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (John 3:16)).
Poor atheist “Suppose there should be a God after all?” as Count B― asked himself. The question is at least worth thinking about, is it not? And it would be very awful to find too late you have made a fatal mistake. “Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation” (2 Cor. 6:22(For he saith, I have heard thee in a time accepted, and in the day of salvation have I succored thee: behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.) (2 Corinthians 6:2)).
A. P. G.