A soldier lay on his bed in the infirmary of— Barracks. Though his ailment was not a dangerous one, it was serious enough to confine him to bed. Time lay very heavily on his hands.
One day a comrade went into the ward and sat down to chat with him. The sick man remarked, "Look here, I am desperately tired lying here doing nothing. I wish you would go down to the library and find some good novel or some book of that kind, and bring it up for me to read.”
The man, who was an invalid, it may be added, was one of the most vile and depraved in his regiment a man who had no fear of God before his eyes. His visitor, in reply to his request, said, "O, yes, I will do that for you," and in a few minutes he returned with a book in his hand, which he put on, the bed, saying, "My good brother, I have brought you a very pious and instructive treatise, which I have no doubt will be profitable to you; it is called 'James' Anxious Enquirer.'" so saying, he burst into a laugh, and left the room.
"Well," the sick man said, "my first impulse was to seize the book and fling it at him; but it occurred to me on second thought that it was better than nothing. When he was gone a strange curiosity entered my mind to read it. I opened it, and read the first few chapters; and, strange to say, I was wonderfully interested. But I was terribly afraid lest anyone should find me reading it. My eyes and ears were kept open, and if I saw or heard anyone, 'James' Anxious Enquirer' was under my pillow in a moment. I went on reading, and the more I read the more miserable I became. As I lay in bed, it seemed as if all my past life rose up before me its guilt, debauchery, and the wretched souls I had helped to destroy. O, how miserable I became. Day after day my convictions deepened, until I made up my mind, and said, 'O, God, I cannot go on with this life any longer.'
"When I recovered I made up my mind that I would join the little band of Christian men who used to meet in a shed a few hundred yards from the barracks to read the Bible together. I set forth and found myself in the middle of a sort of triangle. At one angle was the shed, and at another was a saloon, where I had been in the habit of spending my evenings. When I got half way I was between two opposing influences, and found myself standing still. There arose within my mind the thought, `Now, then, you are not going to turn your back on your old life. Look at the saloon; you have had many a pleasant evening there; if you go down to these saints, just think of what a life you will lead in the regiment; the life of a dog would be nothing to it. You cannot stand that.'
"Then my courage began to give way, and I crept slowly towards the saloon. I reached the door; I laid my hand on the handle and was just going to enter, when, all of a sudden, it was just as if a voice of thunder spoke to me. There was no outward sound, but that terrible voice came rolling through my inmost soul like the voice of doom, and the words it uttered were, `Whosoever shall be ashamed of Me and My words, in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when He cometh in the glory of His Father, with the holy angels.' Mark 8:3838Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation; of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels. (Mark 8:38).
"I let the door handle drop as if it were red hot, turned away from the threshold of the saloon, and passed along till I found myself standing outside of the shed, where those Christian men were sitting reading the Word of God.
"Once again I was about to open a door, when the thought came into my mind, 'How queerly they will all look at you. There is not a man in the regiment they will be more surprised to see than you. What will you say? How silly you will feel! How foolish you will look.' Again I found myself standing still, and a voice seemed to say, `Go home, go home don't make a fool of yourself.' As I stood hesitating for the second time there came thundering through my soul, `Whosoever shall be ashamed of Me, and of My word... of him shall the Son of man be ashamed,' and as the words rang in my ears I gave the door a push, and sprang into the room. If a bomb-shell had dropped into their midst these good men could not have looked more surprised than they did. But one of them had presence of mind enough to greet me in a friendly sort of way.
I found I was among true friends and brothers. Everyone had a kind word and a warm welcome for me. They stopped the Bible-reading, and all knelt and prayed with me, crying to God to have mercy on my soul, to wash me from my sins, and to show me the Savior. Still I did not get blessing; my heart was filled with doubt and fear; I crawled away back to the barracks, as miserable as I could be.
"When I entered the barrack-room it was like going from the porch of heaven to the gate of hell. One man was singing an obscene song; another was telling a filthy tale; another was swearing and blaspheming at the top of his voice; all was profanity, and for the first time in my life I felt horrified with it. I suppose it was, no worse than usual, but I had never noticed it before. Now the whole thing was revolting to me. I crept to my bedside like one astonished, and sat there dumb-stricken, lost in a reverie of conflicting emotions. I was wondering what I should do next; and at last I thought I would get into bed and have a quiet time of meditation and prayer, turning over in my mind all I had heard from the men in the shed.
"I undressed myself, got my shoes off, and was just on the point of stepping into bed, when, for the third time, that tremendous voice came thundering through my soul, `Whosoever shall be ashamed of Me, and of My words, of him shall the Son of man be ashamed.' I dropped on my knees as if I had been shot, and cried aloud, `Great God, have mercy on me, a sinner!'
Well, if those Christian men had been electrified when they saw me in their room, I tell you these rebels in the barrack-room were tenfold more astonished. They stood there gaping, petrified with amazement; they had not the presence of mind to say a word. They knew what kind of life I had led, and there they stood dumb and astonished. By and by, they stole off one by one to bed, and left me alone. They did not say a rough word to me; they were too much surprised.
They knew it was the power of God; so, contrary to my expectations, they left me alone.
"The battle was won now—the barriers of pride and shame were swept away; and only a few days after, light, and joy and peace burst into my soul. But I always look back upon the moment I heard that voice of thunder in my ear as the turning-point of my life.”
"He saw me ruined in the fall,
Yet loved me notwithstanding all;
He saved me from my lost estate,
His loving-kindness, O, how great.”